Item added: Government Contract

Description: A government contract is a formal agreement granting a private business the right to carry out work on behalf of Torn City. Projects can range from small local jobs to major public works, with companies competing for the privilege of spending taxpayer money as inefficiently as possible. In theory, contracts are awarded on merit and value. In practice, kickbacks are so common that this document may as well come with a detachable check at the bottom.

Item added: Blazer

Description: When someone's wearing a blazer, you know damn well they're about to correct your pronunciation of Latin or share some based opinions on race theory. Less formal than a suit jacket but more respectable than a slim-fit sweater that shows off your nips, this olive twill number features notched lapels and patch pockets. Wearing it bestows enough academic gravitas to make even your most half-baked opinion sound peer-reviewed. Team it with a collared shirt, sensible trousers, and the habit of starting every sentence with the words "Uhm, actually..."

Item added: Court Order

Description: This court order permits the bearer to seize items of value from the listed debtor. Consisting of several sheets of clerical bullshit, it effectively legalizes the theft of property on behalf of the City of Torn. If there's a phone bill you've forgotten to pay or a stack of overdue car payments against your name, these documents authorize a Taser-wielding meathead to steal your shit with the full backing of the law.

Item added: Nightstick

Description: A police nightstick is a length of hardened polymer designed to help officers resolve complicated social problems without the inconvenience of evidence or paperwork. Usually carried on the belt, its persuasive qualities can make innocent civilians get on the floor and bleed, or convince them that they did in fact do that thing they didn't do. This brutal clubbing weapon is known to apply the "Deaf Ears" effect upon officers when used to beat poor people and minorities.

Item added: Utility Bill

Description: Utility bills serve as a monthly reminder that basic human comfort has been successfully monetized. You mustn't spend a single moment of your life being supplied with water or heat without thinking of the generous CEO who made it happen. This document records how much energy, water, gas, or broadband you've used before converting it into a massive number using a formula too complicated to question. Besides being useful for proving where you live, this bill can also be used to confirm that leaving every light in the house on was, financially speaking, a fucking stupid idea.