Torn Items

Name Description Type Buy Price Sell Price Market Value Circulation
Hammer [1] A small, lightweight tool used in the building industry. Can also be used as a weapon.

The Hammer is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $75 $50 $29 2,228,888
Baseball Bat [2] A long, solid wooden bat. As a weapon, it can land quite a blow on your enemy.

The Baseball Bat is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $200 $130 $168 484,013
Crowbar [3] Used for opening crates and large boxes. The sharp hook at one end makes this a great weapon.

The Crowbar is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $400 $250 $170 523,472
Knuckle Dusters [4] They won't know what hit them with these strong, hard, brass knuckle dusters. They won't even see it coming!

The Knuckle Dusters is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $750 $500 $411 345,917
Pen Knife [5] High quality knife--a great survival tool. Ideal for climbers, adventurers, military personnel, and close combat in dark alleys.

The Pen Knife is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $1,000 $750 $637 209,193
Kitchen Knife [6] Do your attempts to prepare food like your favourite TV chef end up more like hack and saw than slice and dice? If so, a sharp new knife could be your saviour.

The Kitchen Knife is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $1,500 $1,000 $1,124 304,321
Dagger [7] A short, sharp metal dagger useful for quick attacks. Straight in, straight out.

The Dagger is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $2,250 $1,500 $1,461 132,658
Axe [8] Used mainly for chopping tree roots and splitting kindling. Can bash and split many other substances, too.

The Axe is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $4,200 $3,000 $2,687 428,741
Scimitar [9] The deeply-curved, high-carbon steel blade of the scimitar can terrify your opponent as you attack with a swashbuckling slash.

The Scimitar is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $8,600 $5,400 $5,239 146,140
Chainsaw [10] A compact chainsaw lets you cut quickly in tight spots. Its standard diamond chain is more than a match for almost anything you might need to slice up.

The Chainsaw is a Mechanical type of weapon.
Melee $15,000 $11,500 $11,187 246,044
Samurai Sword [11] A ninja-grade, full-tang samurai sword, created for us by a master artisan. The sword balances perfectly, takes and holds a razor edge, and can divide an eyelash or a full skull in one swipe.

The Samurai Sword is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $75,000 $53,000 $52,873 128,420
Glock 17 [12] The Glock 17 is a lightweight semi-automatic pistol holding up to 20 rounds in a magazine.

The Glock 17 is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $400 $270 $171 571,282
Raven MP25 [13] The Raven MP25 holds 6 rounds per magazine. It can deliver powerful, quick blows to the opponent at short range.

The Raven MP25 is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $550 $370 $284 221,287
Ruger 57 [14] A fast firing pistol chambered for the 5.7mm cartridge, holding 20 rounds per magazine. An accurate and moderately powerful weapon.

The Ruger 57 is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $975 $650 $529 171,344
Beretta M9 [15] The M9 Beretta is the standard Army sidearm. Accurate and fast firing. 17 rounds per magazine.

The Beretta M9 is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $2,000 $1,300 $1,140 207,887
USP [16] A good short range weapon that holds 15 rounds per magazine. Very accurate and has fast semi-automatic firing.

The USP is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $2,750 $1,850 $1,729 267,496
Beretta 92FS [17] A direct-feed, double-stacked pistol with a 20-round magazine. This model has improvements to prevent the slide flying off if it cracks.

The Beretta 92FS is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $3,500 $653,667 56,191
Fiveseven [18] A small and light firearm that holds up to 20 rounds per magazine. Widely used by counter-terrorists all around the world.

The Fiveseven is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $9,950 $7,500 $7,137 254,190
Magnum [19] A very slow but powerful weapon. It holds only 6 rounds, but delivers a mighty blow to the enemy.

The Magnum is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $23,000 $16,000 $15,276 279,060
Desert Eagle [20] Fast-firing and very powerful. If you hit your opponent, he goes down and stays down. The magazine only holds eight rounds but the strength of each impact makes up for that.

The Desert Eagle is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $45,000 $37,000 $36,239 131,496
Dual 92G Berettas [21] One of the greatest pistols in the world. And when you are packing a pair, the results are incredible: 46 powerful shots to take your opponent down. The Dual 92G Berettas are very hard to get hold of, so cost a premium. But the extra impact is worth the extra price.

The Dual 92G Berettas is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $900,000 $6,895,379 69,917
Sawed-Off Shotgun [22] Loads and fires two cartridges at a time. If you hit your opponent, you will open up a huge hole.

The Sawed-Off Shotgun is a Shotgun type of weapon.
Primary $2,400 $1,400 $1,334 171,354
Benelli M1 Tactical [23] Simple and sturdy. Takes seven cartridges and delivers each round with power.

The Benelli M1 Tactical is a Shotgun type of weapon.
Primary $4,900 $3,300 $3,134 249,234
MP5 Navy [24] Lightweight and air-cooled, one of the most widely used submachine guns in the world. 30 rounds per magazine.

The MP5 Navy is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $5,600 $3,800 $3,620 239,818
P90 [25] Effective close-range automatic weapon. 50-round magazine. Not particularly accurate, but its fast firing will cause heavy damage on anything it hits.

The P90 is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $9,800 $6,600 $6,254 197,708
AK-47 [26] Powerful, accurate and virtually unbreakable. This 30-round magazine fed rifle is a favourite among discerning hit men.

The AK-47 is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $15,000 $10,000 $9,552 227,674
M4A1 Colt Carbine [27] The Colt is a powerful and accurate rifle. It's one of the best weapons around, a good choice!

The M4A1 Colt Carbine is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $19,500 $12,500 $12,189 200,745
Benelli M4 Super [28] The Auto Shotgun is the best close-range weapon around. Although you may have to reload often as it only holds 7 rounds, the amount of rounds you can pump into your enemy in just a few seconds is amazing.

The Benelli M4 Super is a Shotgun type of weapon.
Primary $32,000 $21,400 $20,682 144,310
M16 A2 Rifle [29] Much like the Colt, but more powerful and accurate. 30 rounds per magazine, with a fast-fire option.

The M16 A2 Rifle is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $53,000 $36,000 $36,006 117,197
Steyr AUG [30] The Steyr AUG holds 30 rounds. It can be very accurate, although its standard scope is a little weak. A great weapon for the price.

The Steyr AUG is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $99,500 $75,000 $74,923 157,581
M249 SAW [31] The M249 Squad Automatic Weapon is a light machine-gun that combines the precision and mobility of a rifle with the relentless ferocity of rapid machine-gun fire. A favorite of the US Military, this gas-operated LMG can cut down several targets in a matter of seconds.

The M249 SAW is a Machine gun type of weapon.
Primary $950,000 $670,000 $669,332 61,296
Leather Vest [32] Simple and lightweight. If you're lucky, it will protect you from a few shots. Defensive $2,500 $1,700 $1,475 269,265
Police Vest [33] Strong and durable body armor that will absorb a lot of damage to your torso. Defensive $10,000 $7,500 $7,321 198,055
Bulletproof Vest [34] Body armor that can absorb a certain amount of heavy-weapons fire, although it will not turn you into Iron Man. Defensive $50,000 $33,000 $32,124 272,498
Box of Chocolate Bars [35] A box of chocolate bars. Provides a small happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 25 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $15 $379 7,249,182
Big Box of Chocolate Bars [36] A very large box of chocolate bars. Provides a small happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 35 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $20 $34,622 10,698,567
Bag of Bon Bons [37] A pack of Bon Bons. Provides a small happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 25 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $16 $356 5,164,861
Box of Bon Bons [38] A box of four luxurious Bon Bons. Provides a small happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 25 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $20 $384 3,726,711
Box of Extra Strong Mints [39] Wow, whoever needs these must have very bad breath. Provides a small happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 25 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $22 $400 6,506,895
Pack of Music CDs [40] Some of the hottest bands around, all in one pack of CDs. Other $0 $20 $827 2,364,436
DVD Player [41] Sony DVD player with MP3 reading ability. Other $0 $25 $28 1,065,383
MP3 Player [42] Brand new MP3 player made by Sony. Comes with a 512 MEG card.

Effect: Converts 1, 3 or 5 energy into happiness.
Special $0 $25 $17 3,260,508
CD Player [43] This stylish home stereo system was top of the range back in 1994, with its CD player capable of reading even the most scratched up compact discs in your collection.

Effect: Converts 1, 3 or 5 energy into happiness.
Special $0 $20 $18 1,228,346
Blank DVDs : 100 [44] This spindle pack of 100 writable DVD-R DVDs are suitable for video and data applications, and compatible with a variety of different drives. Material $35 $20 $0 0
Hard Drive [45] A large hard drive to extend your computer's storage capacity. Other $0 $65 $204 1,472,346
Tank Top [46] A stylish low cut tank top. Clothing $0 $32 $32 2,152,268
Trainers [47] A nice pair of trainers. Clothing $0 $35 $38 2,254,104
Jacket [48] A very stylish summer jacket. Clothing $0 $40 $66 169,300,602
Full Body Armor [49] Full body armor made of high-grade bulletproof material. It will absorb some of the damage from hits taken by the wearer. Defensive $75,000 $60,000 $59,545 343,157
Outer Tactical Vest [50] Despite the Combat Vest offering improved protection, its predecessor the Outer Tactical Vest is far from obsolete. The increased survivability and enhanced maneuverability provided makes it a more than worthwhile addition to your combat wardrobe. Defensive $1,000,000 $750,000 $753,849 72,028
Plain Silver Ring [51] A simple silver ring.

Effect: Can be used to propose to someone with.
Jewelry $100 $55 $51 4,468,904
Sapphire Ring [52] A sapphire ring.

Effect: Can be used to propose to someone with.
Jewelry $300 $125 $491 4,082,452
Gold Ring [53] A solid gold ring.

Effect: Can be used to propose to someone with.
Jewelry $530 $260 $243 5,092,896
Diamond Ring [54] An expensive diamond ring.

Effect: Can be used to propose to someone with.
Jewelry $5,000 $2,700 $2,611 1,870,087
Pearl Necklace [55] Matched cultured pearls in an understated but elegant setting. Jewelry $0 $35 $95 2,468,127
Silver Necklace [56] A silver necklace featuring a pattern of semi-precious stones. Jewelry $0 $95 $84 1,260,143
Gold Necklace [57] A mesmerizing spiral of 14-karat gold. Jewelry $0 $185 $160 1,859,364
Plastic Watch [58] This watch is absolutely accurate at least twice a day. Jewelry $0 $20 $56 1,222,260
Stainless Steel Watch [59] Continues working when dropped, stepped on, or hit with a rubber mallet. Jewelry $0 $70 $54 1,164,419
Gold Watch [60] Elegance and luxury at sixty seconds per minute. Jewelry $0 $225 $243 9,636,671
Personal Computer [61] A high-tech personal computer. Can be used to program viruses.

Effect: Can be used to program viruses.
Tool $1,350 $300 $356 6,187,187
Microwave [62] A brand new microwave. Other $0 $150 $117 853,344
Minigun [63] This gun has a 200-round magazine. When you are done with a burst, your enemy will be in fragments.

The Minigun is a Machine gun type of weapon.
Primary $3,000,000 $1,250,000 $1,322,553 74,017
Pack of Cuban Cigars [64] A pack of great quality, very expensive Cuban cigars. Other $400 $295 $363 3,878,746
Television [65] A king size Sony TV screen.

Effect: Converts 3, 5 or 10 energy into happiness.
Special $0 $250 $181 1,406,910
Morphine [66] Known on the street as Miss Emma, Morphine is a potent opiate painkiller whose addictive qualities are less than ladylike. With one shot, you'll be taken on a high-speed trip to your happy place, a pleasant destination where your leg is in one piece and your face is no longer mangled beyond repair.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 70 mins and restores 15% life. Increases medical cooldown by 20 mins.
Medical $20,000 $10,000 $10,146 30,683,466
First Aid Kit [67] This comprehensive collection of medical necessities contains everything you need to treat burns, blood loss, and broken bones. Whether you're bleeding out on the battlefield or you've slipped in the bath and sat on a shampoo bottle, you'll be back on your feet in moments.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 40 minutes and restores 10% life. Increases medical cooldown by 15 mins.
Medical $15,000 $7,500 $7,531 18,113,090
Small First Aid Kit [68] A small medical kit containing bandages, gauze, and antiseptic wipes. There's not enough in here to put someone's guts back in, but you'll have no problem patching up a minor flesh-wound or a nasty boo-boo on your knee.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 20 minutes and restores 5% life. Increases medical cooldown by 10 mins.
Medical $7,500 $3,750 $3,746 27,319,545
Simple Virus [69] A very simple virus that was written by an amateur.

Effect: Used to plant a virus.
Tool $0 $500 $1,598 1,844,342
Polymorphic Virus [70] Polymorphic viruses are semi-sentient: they adapt themselves with each infection. With a virus-writing toolkit you can even design new viruses.

Effect: Used to plant a virus.
Tool $0 $4,500 $47,208 125,342
Tunneling Virus [71] This virus will attempt to tunnel under anti-virus monitoring programs in order to bypass their monitoring functions.

Effect: Used to plant a virus.
Tool $0 $10,000 $30,197 144,183
Armored Virus [72] This virus attempts to make disassembly difficult. Great for systems with weak virus protection.

Effect: Used to plant a virus.
Tool $0 $75,000 $180,000 54,031
Stealth Virus [73] In order to avoid detection, a virus will often take over virus protection system functions likely to spot it and use them to hide itself. An extremely hard virus to write.

Effect: Used to plant a virus.
Tool $0 $200,000 $222,611 215,737
Santa Hat '04 [74] A well crafted Santa hat made especially for the 2004 Christmas! Collectible $0 $0 $0 21
Christmas Cracker '04 [75] An expensive Christmas cracker made especially for the 2004 Christmas! Collectible $0 $0 $0 29
Snow Cannon [76] A very rare special weapon, made and crafted by Santa himself!

The Snow Cannon is a Heavy artillery type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 128
Toyota MR2 [77] This streamlined import has stunning top end speed but has miserable stopping power. Car $0 $29,000 $29,052 1,867,450
Honda NSX [78] This underdog costs a fraction of the price of the other cars in its class, and its acceleration and top speed leave a bit to be desired. However, its handling and braking are hard to match, helping the NSX rate well on the lap time table for Class A. Car $0 $40,000 $37,815 1,910,211
Audi TT Quattro [79] This sleek sports car is not only a hit with the ladies but can accelerate quicker than any in its class. It boasts a streamlined shape paired with a very clever Quattro system. European road laws ruin this car with a top speed limit of 155mph. Car $85,000 $55,000 $54,749 89,837
BMW M5 [80] This rocket ship can reach a monumental top end speed once de-restricted. The fastest 4-door saloon of its type. Sadly, its immense power struggles to be transferred onto the road during the first couple of gears, slowing its acceleration. Car $0 $43,000 $42,918 82,529
BMW Z8 [81] This rear wheel drive "Beamer" does struggle for grip off the line but due to its poise and balance it is stable under braking making it very quick in the corners. Car $0 $80,000 $79,845 284,572
Chevrolet Corvette Z06 [82] This car can power its way to a sky high top speed with its glorious 7 litre V8. Again, like most American cars it sadly does not handle particularly well. Car $75,000 $50,000 $50,128 127,453
Dodge Charger [83] This Dodge can reach breakneck speeds in a straight line, although satisfactory cornering is an expensive optional extra, as this beast turns into a good old American rodeo round the corners. Car $0 $69,000 $68,509 271,358
Pontiac Firebird [84] This American classic tends to under-steer severely in the corners and wallow round any intricate track. However, its impressive top speeds on the straights do a lot to compensate for weak cornering. Car $0 $59,000 $58,799 91,802
Ford GT40 [85] This Le Mans derived Ford handles like a racing car should but is slightly let down by its acceleration, especially when considering it is incredibly light for its class. Car $0 $150,000 $136,808 297,049
Hummer H3 [86] This giant has stopping power twice the force of its rivals; its handling however is poor on tarmac due to soft off road suspension and high centre of gravity. Car $0 $21,000 $21,606 126,884
Audi S4 [87] This 2.7 litre twin turbo Ferrari killer is extremely planted under braking into corners allowing a great exit speed once its turbos kick in, it does however bog down off the line due to the four wheel drive system when compared to others in its class. Car $0 $13,000 $13,325 115,737
Honda Integra R [88] This import is described by many as the "closest you'll get to a race car out of factory" - due to its sharp and responsive handling. Car $0 $15,000 $15,248 117,026
Honda Accord [89] This car has a wide wheelbase, allowing for superb handling with stiff suspension springs preventing body roll. The car's weight, however, reduces its speed off the line. Car $0 $23,000 $23,028 1,711,606
Honda Civic [90] This import has a staggering top speed, but with non independent suspension it suffers from poor handling. Car $0 $9,000 $9,773 268,606
Volkswagen Beetle [91] One of the few good things to come out of WWII, this "people's car" handles like it's on rails. It has a limited top speed of 155 mph due to German restrictions. Car $0 $7,600 $14,602 241,000
Chevrolet Cavalier [92] The Chevy has a substantially larger 2,800cc engine than most in its class giving it a great top speed. However like most American cars it lacks the simple ability to corner. Car $0 $5,600 $5,840 223,554
Ford Mustang [93] This American treasure has its place in most males' dream garage. The car boasts a stunning top speed, and once it's off the line it's unstoppable...literally unstoppable, as the brakes are sponges, no wonder Shelby had to make severe modifications for track racing! Car $38,000 $17,000 $16,990 141,511
Reliant Robin [94] This three wheeled beauty can turn on a two pence piece with stunning handling. It comes under scrutiny however, under heavy braking where they have been known to topple over. Car $0 $7,000 $10,432 422,087
Holden SS [95] This Aussie powerhouse reaches a breathtaking top speed. (If it ever gets there after leaving most of its tires on the starting line). Car $0 $25,000 $25,023 1,800,129
Coat Hanger [96] A metal coat hanger, often used for picking the locks of cars.

Effect: Required for stealing locked cars.
Tool $0 $2 $25,834 214,614
Bunch of Flowers [97] A bunch of flowers, a perfect gift! Flower $5 $3 $30 27,136,698
Neutrilux 2000 [98] Very rare: a Leprechaun's most powerful weapon, created out of green nuclear energy. Or at least, that's how the legend goes.

The Neutrilux 2000 is a Machine gun type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 9
Springfield 1911 [99] Steel and light weight aluminium frames, stainless, blued and parkerized finishes, V-12 barrel porting... What more could you want?

The Springfield 1911 is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $430 $300 $353 96,247
Egg Propelled Launcher [100] Very rare: the Easter Bunny's most powerful weapon, created out of jelly bean and chocolate egg technology.

The Egg Propelled Launcher is a Heavy artillery type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 15
Bunny Suit [101] Very rare, and created out of the strongest fur yet discovered, this serves as the Easter Bunny's most stylish and most protective armor. Clothing $0 $0 $0 34
Chocolate Egg '05 [102] Every person's favourite treat, made for the 2005 Easter celebration! Collectible $0 $0 $0 64
Firewalk Virus [103] This type of virus is unknown. Tool $0 $100 $123,000 146,509
Game Console [104] This Game Console is a generic gaming device exclusive to Torn City, and was made from parts cannibalized from an Xbox, PlayStation, and a Sega Saturn. Game Consoles are unique in that they actually bring people happiness when they put effort into them, unlike careers, relationships, or children.

Effect: Converts 1, 3 or 5 energy into happiness.
Special $0 $200 $172 1,017,530
Xbox [105] A games console used for playing games.

Effect: Converts 5 energy into 8-15 happiness.
Special $0 $350 $0 0
Parachute [106] A collapsible device used to retard the descent of a falling body.

Effect: Permanently increases Dexterity by 1%. Increases booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $450,000,000 $0 $448,040,000 6,926
Trench Coat [107] A thick trench coat that covers most of the body. Clothing $500,000 $325,000 $325,341 108,570
9mm Uzi [108] This Uzi is a compact, boxy, light-weight sub machine gun used throughout the world as a police and special forces firearm.

The 9mm Uzi is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $1,100,000 $600,000 $593,218 45,691
RPG Launcher [109] The anti-tank RPG launcher is one of the most common and most effective infantry weapons in contemporary conflicts.

The RPG Launcher is a Heavy artillery type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $0 $0 971
Leather Bullwhip [110] A whip made of rawhide. In the right hands, it can be a stealthy and deadly weapon. In the wrong may lose an eye!

The Leather Bullwhip is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $1,500 $750 $712 179,234
Ninja Claws [111] Traditional ninja weapon for close combat, with four needle-sharp spikes.

The Ninja Claws is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $8,000 $5,000 $4,885 60,471
Test Trophy [112] Test! Collectible $0 $0 $0 2
Pet Rock [113] One of the rarest items in Torn, first discovered by Matt. Warning: this pet is extremely dangerous! Only the very brave or the very stupid should take it on. Matt takes no responsibility for the loss of life or fingertips caused by this pet. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Non-Anon Doll [114] The perfect gift for when you want to add insult to injury. Patented by Someone... Collectible $0 $0 $0 6
Poker Doll [115] Feisty red haired doll made in the image of Peachy complete with bellybutton poking action! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Yoda Figurine [116] Have a doll like Yoda You must. Collectible $0 $0 $0 15
Trojan Horse [117] This sweet gift from Tebbs seems innocently useful. Inside, it is highly infectious! Collectible $0 $0 $0 22
Doll's Head [118] A doll's head owned by the Evil Female Admin known as Wynn. Believed to be responsible for lost stats, site lag, mass kicks on IRC, and random deletions. Collectible $0 $0 $0 31
Rubber Ducky of Doom [119] Most powerful weapon in the game can only be used by those with the knowledge to unleash its fearsome Duck Powers. Most often used after being asked the same n00b question for the 5th time in a row. Has also been seen dive bombing random people in IRC. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Teppic Bear [120] Only known of by a very select few, this Teddy Bear stands as proof that even the toughest of players, such as Teppic, do indeed have a softer side. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
RockerHead Doll [121] It has no uses and does nothing just like the staff member it resembles. Collectible $0 $0 $0 10
Mouser Doll [122] Similar to the one used by Mouser to relieve the stress of dealing with uncooperative staff, annoying n00bs, and day to day business of being a Coder in Torn City. Collectible $0 $0 $0 18
Elite Action Man [123] Mimics the actions of the real man. Has been known to abuse Caps Lock Abusers. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Toy Reactor [124] Miniature model of a Nuclear Reactor similar to the one that Sec. Les_Claypool will be working on when he leaves for the Navy. Collectible $0 $0 $0 17
Royal Doll [125] This doll will give its user the feeling of being royalty just like KingAce while in possession. Player will receive special treatment from friends and rivals while carrying this special item! Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
Blue Dragon [126] A blue dragon spawned from the evil TC admin named blue comes packed with evil intentions and wild powers.. Some say rubbing the dragons head makes one 100 times stronger than any normal man! Collectible $0 $0 $0 22
China Tea Set [127] Be just like Chedburn, sit in the garden and sip tea with this China Tea Set. Collectible $0 $0 $0 10
Mufasa Toy [128] Replica of a plush toy owned by Randi it looks just like the majestic lion Mufasa... before he was trampled of course. Collectible $0 $0 $0 21
Dozen Roses [129] A dozen roses. This bouquet is available in assorted colors, from red for that special someone to black to send to your enemy after you hospitalize him or her. Flower $300 $250 $177 3,238,044
Skanky Doll [130] Just like the one owned by Infrit this doll comes with black hair blood red lipstick mini skirt and boob tube. Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
Lego Hurin [131] This life like model is comprised completely of legos. Comes with upgrades such as the multi hunting goggles and evilarium connects to the brain. Read instructions for more details. Not intended for use by children age 6 and under. Collectible $0 $0 $0 18
Mystical Sphere [132] A rare object created by Phyrax when he was a helper... Only possessed by a select few in all of Torn City. Every now and then lights and mist shoot out of the sphere and at this time the holder may obtain all knowledge and wisdom. Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
10 Ton Pacifier [133] Used for that special baby out there.. the one you would like to crush because you just cant get them to stop crying. Drive this pacifier in their mouth and you will get dead silence. Created by Rock for all the babies out there. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Horse [134] First seen by those who crossed the Godfather, this strange object greatly increases your desire to annoy people in the chat rooms, while simultaneously draining away all your religious beliefs. Collectible $0 $0 $0 16
Uriel's Speakers [135] These tripped out speakers will blow you away with thundering bass and a beat that won't quit. Putting out 5000W with a crushing 600 decibels. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Strife Clown [136] This Ominous Clown is full of discord. This rare item channels all the pain and torture this world has to offer. Collectible $0 $0 $0 17
Locked Teddy [137] This bear is covered in chains connected with padlocks. He has been seen locking forum topics around Torn City, but has yet to have any of his locks picked. Collectible $0 $0 $0 21
Riddle's Bat [138] This baseball bat belongs to Riddle. All know it and most fear it. It causes panic in the IRC realm. Random kicks occur when he is in a bad mood or when mass slapping occurs. Don't mess with the bat! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Soup Nazi Doll [139] Often seen running loose on IRC, usually before kicking rule breakers with the message No Soup For You!! Believed to have been released by Lestat. Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
Pouncer Doll [140] Be careful of Pouncer. She might pounce on you unexpectedly, or hit you with a pillow or ducks, just like her creator SexySassy. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Spammer Doll [141] A very friendly doll with good interactions, until you make it mad. It can hit back pretty hard, and It will start spamming you, even when you think it should be sleeping, just like Templar. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Cookie Jar [142] Cookie Jar - Just like the one Is0lati0n has at home, this jar is stocked full of chocolate cookies for late nights working in the IRC channel. Collectible $0 $0 $0 35
Vanity Mirror [143] Complete with 24 carat gold rim and handle with YT's initials engraved on it. Collectible $0 $0 $0 21
Banana Phone [144] Bright yellow, shaped like a banana, and plays Titan's favourite song when it rings. Known to annoy other staff members... may be part of the reason he loves it. Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
Xbox 360 [145] A games console used for playing games.

Effect: Converts 5 energy into 8-15 happiness.
Special $0 $500 $0 0
Yasukuni Sword [146] A rare Japanese blade of exceptional quality and craftsmanship.

The Yasukuni Sword is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $1,631,722 29,687
Rusty Sword [147] An old rusty sword.

The Rusty Sword is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $40 $79,391 93,644
Dance Toy [148] Although its name refers to Syrup it's nothing near slow. Just press the button on the back and watch this crazy toy dance himself to death! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Lucky Dime [149] Found deep within a lost cavern in Torn City was a rare bag of dimes that were stolen during the first bank robbery in Torn City. They were thought to have been lost forever, but a few have survived and are said to bring luck to those who play roulette in the Casino. Collectible $0 $0 $0 31
Crystal Carousel [150] Created by w1ld_h0rs3s this replica Carousel shows her favourite horses running wild and free. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Pixie Sticks [151] Small plastic tubes filled with flavoured sugar. Available in orange, raspberry, grape and strawberry. Provides a large happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 150 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $50 $253,528 270,607
Ice Sculpture [152] Some believe that the reclusive artist who carved these sculptures meant them to depict friendliness and good will. However, some who gaze on these rare pieces feel an icy coldness and a sinking detachment from the world. Only the artist knows his true intent. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Case of Whiskey [153] Recovered during a raid at his Mansion these are the last cases of Whiskey that mdshare produced before being captured by Torn City Police for violation of the alcohol ordinance. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Laptop [154] A high-tech wireless laptop. You can use it on your long travels to check your mail and see how things are going at home.

Effect: Can be used to access additional services while traveling and program viruses.
Tool $0 $400 $347 753,120
Purple Frog Doll [155] A very rare species of frog that lives in Torn City. Sometimes seen on IRC hopping into people's pockets. Usually friendly, but can become extremely violent if provoked. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Hooorang's Key [156] Hooorang's skeleton key lets you bypass any locked doors and open lockers and safes. Nothing can stop its holder. Holding this item makes you feel invincible. Collectible $0 $0 $0 23
Patriot Whip [157] UTBracket's own design, comes in either Union Jack or St. George style. Don't mess with the owner of this collectible or expect to have your day ruined by some painful marks on your butt and the ability to sit down removed!! Collectible $0 $0 $0 15
Statue Of Aeolus [158] Aeolus Keeper of The Wind possess the power to control the strength and direction of the wind. A Greek Mystical Artifact with powers believed to be related to the wind. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Bolt Cutters [159] A pair of quality bolt cutters. Made of tempered steel with cushion-grip handles and durable, heat-treated jaws. Tool $25 $15 $49 2,276,547
Photographs [160] Four photographs of a man handing over a briefcase. Other $0 $0 $0 8,229
Black Unicorn [161] A friend for life and a ferocious fighter feared by all foes. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
WarPaint Kit [162] The perfect accessory when going off to war. Fashioned after Scarlet's own personal kit, containing facial paints made of wolf's blood. Once applied, the user is said to gain the prowess of the wolf. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Official Ninja Kit [163] The Official Hiro Ninja Kit is a custom fit accessory set for any wannabe ninja. Contains: ninja suit for those stealthy attacks, grappling hook for those difficult larcenies, ninja guide book as penned by Hiro himself. Warning - not for novices. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Leukaemia Teddy Bear [164] Soft and fluffy, it likes to be cuddled and can comfort you on those lonely nights. But beware: mistreatment of your Leukaemia Teddy Bear will result in a mighty slap from its paws of steel. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Chocobo Flute [165] Long thought to be lost forever this small item was found in the far reaches of Torn City by CloudFFVII. Many believe peace of mind and swiftness in battle are brought to the holder of this charm. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Annoying Man [166] This little annoying man can be seen on IRC and on MSN annoying people and getting into trouble just like Manjot. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Article on Crime [167] An article written by the reporter George on specific criminals. Other $0 $0 $0 2,497
Unknown [168] This item does not exist. Unused $0 $0 $0 7
Barbie Doll [169] Equipped with Kung Fu Grip, and hot pink nail polish, this doll resembles the Admin Clansdancer. Collectible $0 $0 $0 31
Wand of Destruction [170] A very rare special weapon, this wand was created by The Great Pumpkin himself to wreak havoc on Torn City.

The Wand of Destruction is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 7
Jack-O-Lantern '05 [171] Given out by The Great Pumpkin, to good boys and girls all across Torn City. Collectible $0 $0 $0 368
Gasoline [172] Capable of storing five gallons of pure liquid warehouse repellent, this gas can is made from lightweight plastic, making it easy to transport across the city to your destination of choice. In the United States, gas cans are color coded, with yellow containing diesel, blue holding kerosene, and red ones like this used to store gasoline. But since this is Torn City, you can safely assume that this gas can contains a mixture of all three plus urine.

Effect: Used in the burning disposal method.
Material $95 $70 $717 5,696,763
Butterfly Knife [173] A small knife, deadly in the right hands. The handles fold up to conceal the blade of this dangerous weapon.

The Butterfly Knife is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $1,750 $1,200 $1,033 275,272
XM8 Rifle [174] Lightweight assault rifle, deadly when fired up close. Can break through the toughest armor.

The XM8 Rifle is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $12,500 $9,000 $8,632 214,822
Taser [175] An electroshock gun, non lethal, but will land your opponent in the hospital for a while just as quickly as a more aggressive weapon will.

The Taser is a Mechanical type of weapon.
Secondary $5,500 $4,250 $4,012 280,798
Chain Mail [176] Chain Mail consists of a series of individual metal rings linked together to form a mesh, resulting in a flexible yet resilient barrier capable of protecting the wearer during hand-to-hand combat. This form of armor was most commonly used by European warriors between 300 BC - 1600 AD, but today is mostly worn by overweight war reenactors who like to play dress-up on the weekends. Defensive $4,000 $3,100 $3,057 88,458
Cobra Derringer [177] A small, lightweight pistol. For some people two bullets are all you need.

The Cobra Derringer is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $70,000 $55,000 $54,684 93,296
Flak Jacket [178] Marine issued armor. Sturdy and effective against most small caliber rounds. Defensive $7,500 $4,750 $4,563 124,799
Birthday Cake '05 [179] A slice of cake left over from Torn's first birthday. Collectible $0 $0 $0 881
Bottle of Beer [180] Just the thing for when you're looking to kick back after a hard day in the City. Provides a small nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 1 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $10 $5 $707 160,393,774
Bottle of Champagne [181] Celebrate an occasion or show your special someone just how much you care with this bottle of champagne. Imported from France. Provides a small nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 1 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $4,500 $3,100 $2,916 2,048,070
Soap on a Rope [182] Necessity for the often-jailed felon. Other $50 $10 $42 6,589,877
Single Red Rose [183] For when words alone just aren't enough to say how you feel. Flower $175 $100 $182 21,219,931
Bunch of Black Roses [184] Not sure your opponent got the meaning of that 4 hour hospital stay? Make SURE you get your point across with this bouquet of black roses. Flower $500 $300 $257 3,276,347
Bunch of Balloons '05 [185] Large bunch of brightly coloured balloons left over from the First Birthday of Torn City. How they stay inflated after the party's over, no one will ever figure out. Collectible $0 $0 $0 832
Sheep Plushie [186] Baaaaaa. Plushie $25 $15 $614 51,336,702
Teddy Bear Plushie [187] Soft plush teddy bear for your special someone to cuddle up with when you're not around. Plushie $30 $10 $626 43,446,125
Cracked Crystal Ball [188] A small glass globe with several deep cracks running through it. How can this be of any use? Collectible $0 $5 $0 0
S&W Revolver [189] Smith and Wesson revolver, commonly used in the game of Russian Roulette.

The S&W Revolver is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $900 $916 129,946
C4 Explosive [190] A C4 high-explosive device. Other $0 $0 $51,273 211,584
Memory Locket [191] It has a picture of a happy family inside it. Other $0 $0 $0 88,829
Rainbow Stud Earring [192] This earring is a symbol of Pride and Love. Collectible $0 $0 $0 5
Hamster Toy [193] Small plush hamster in a plastic ball. Replica of the one that powers parts of the TC Database and cause for most of the lag when he takes a weekend off. Known to annoy kittens and ducks alike he seems to like only one rather isolated admin. Collectible $0 $0 $0 10
Snowflake '05 [194] A small crystal snowflake made especially for the 2005 Xmas season. Collectible $0 $0 $0 117
Christmas Tree '05 [195] A fully decorated Christmas tree, perfect for decorating your home for the 2005 Christmas season. Collectible $0 $0 $0 120
Cannabis [196] This ain't your garden variety bud, no sir. Torn's Cannabis is so strong it'll melt the anxiety from your bones and dribble it out your ass. After a couple of puffs, you'll feel a special kind of relaxed that rids you of all fear, rendering you capable of some seriously heinous acts. Burgle a home? Why not. Pickpocket an old lady? Sounds fun! Dismember and dispose of a corpse you say? That's just a walk in the park, quite literally.

Effect: Increases nerve by 8-12. Includes side effects.
Drug $0 $0 $5,576 9,376,374
Ecstasy [197] Hello, boys and girls. This is your old pal stinky wizzleteats. This is a song about a whale. No, this is a song about being happy. That's right, it's the happy, happy, joy, joy, song. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy, joy. Happy, happy, joy, joy, joy.

Effect: Doubles happiness.
Drug $0 $0 $25,565 2,560,036
Ketamine [198] Originally deployed as a surgical anaesthetic during the Vietnam War, Ketamine is also popular among recreational drug users due to its capacity to induce dissociative sensations and hallucinations. However, in Torn City, you'll find its users in the foxhole rather than a k-hole, with ket used to numb the body against incoming attacks. Because everyone knows that if you can't feel it, it didn't happen!

Effect: Temporarily increases Defense by 50%. Includes side effects.
Drug $0 $0 $3,339 1,316,857
LSD [199] Wanna get mad stupid? Drop a tab of acid and let fate control your body as your mind takes a trip to dreamland. While your consciousness is pre-occupied with the effects of this potent psychedelic, your physical form will be hit by a maelstrom of effects, rendering you strong yet slow, braced and bumbling. And once the surge of pleasure and enthusiasm has washed away, you may find yourself standing over what's left of your opponent's pulped human face.

Effect: Increases energy by 50, nerve by 5, and happiness by 200-500. Includes side effects.
Drug $0 $0 $33,686 1,286,377
Opium [200] Prescribed for a range of ailments from diarrhea and psychosis through to menstrual pain and bronchitis, Opium is a reliable reliever of pain, consequence, and reality. Fortified by this timeless drug, your opponent's blows will feel naught more than tiny mouse breaths upon your body. And should you still find yourself laid up in the hospital, this medical marvel will see you right as rain in no time.

Effect: Removes all hospital time and replenishes life to 50%. Temporarily increases Defense by 30%.
Drug $0 $0 $34,988 649,487
PCP [201] If you've ever been beaten to a pulp by a wide-eyed, grinning maniac, chances are they were hepped up on angel dust. PCP can turn even the most serene wallflower into a psychotic force of nature, imbibing users with the strength of an ox and the dexterity of an ox's effeminate young cousin who left his mining town to join the ballet. Essentially, this drug gives you all the physical benefits of being severely mentally challenged but without the obvious downsides.

Effect: Temporarily increases Strength and Dexterity by 20%. Increases happiness by 250.
Drug $0 $0 $14,870 578,011
Mr Torn Crown '07 [202] Awarded to GZUS [18690] for winning the Mr Torn City awards 2007! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Shrooms [203] Have you ever found a blank sheet of paper absolutely fascinating? You soon will with a little help from a dose of Shrooms. These fantasy-inducing fungi tap into the brain's serotonin receptors to flood your gray matter with happy chemicals, transforming the mundane into magical in mere moments. Many people report feeling a little tired after taking psilocybin mushrooms, but don't worry, because the tap-dancing gorilla at the end of your bed will cuddle you to sleep.

Effect: Increases happiness by 500 and reduces energy by 25. Includes side effects.
Drug $0 $0 $2,096 1,420,626
Speed [204] Speed does exactly what it says on the tin, making your hands move so fast your opponent will think they're having a stroke. But don't get too cocky, because while you're busy trying to land a hit, your clouded mind leaves you open to a counterattack. Sacrificing dexterity for velocity, you'll be equal parts swift and vulnerable, like a premature baby on rocket skates.

Effect: Temporarily increases Speed by 20%. Increases happiness by 50. Includes side effects.
Drug $0 $0 $10,031 669,721
Vicodin [205] Vicodin is a powerful pain medication which is frequently abused by those looking to gain an edge in battle. The drug's ability to inhibit the body's pain perception allows users to perform physical feats at a higher level than before, while also making them a wee bit giddy. However, while Vicodin's effect on your strength, speed, defense, and dexterity is temporary, its damage to your liver is anything but.

Effect: Temporarily increases all battle stats by 25%. Increases happiness by 75.
Drug $0 $0 $1,138 28,119,921
Xanax [206] Xanax in Torn City is very different to your typical pharmacy-bought Alprazolam, with its sedative effects giving way to an explosion of relentless energy. Researchers speculate that this phenomenon is rooted in the drug's ability to boost adenosine triphosphate production within neural cells, supercharging the brain into an overclocked state capable of firing neurons like a machine-gun. However it works, Torn Xanax is the grease that oils the gears of war, elevating a soldier to a state of aggressive frenzy that would make a Nazi Stormtrooper look like a slowpoke sissy.

Effect: Increases energy by 250 and happiness by 75. Includes side effects.
Drug $0 $0 $820,853 5,457,770
Ms Torn Crown '07 [207] Awarded to Vixen_ [140202] for winning the Miss Torn City awards 2007! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Unknown [208] This item does not exist. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Box of Sweet Hearts [209] Fun filled heart shaped candies with messages for your loved ones. Provides a small happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 25 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $500 $250 $390 7,073,002
Bag of Chocolate Kisses [210] Sweet candy kiss for the one you love. Provides a small happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 25 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $150 $100 $390 15,073,256
Crazy Cow [211] This is the most Famous Cow of Torn City protector of innocent pets, punisher of the scammer but watch out! Get to close to him and BOOM You have Mad Cow Disease. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Legend's Urn [212] This item is a urn holding all of the ashes of fallen legends killed by the Legend Killer himself. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Dreamcatcher [213] DL's dream catcher. Hung above a bed or in a window, catches bad dreams while good dreams slip on by. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Brutus Keychain [214] This key chain stands as proof the bearer has survived a brush with the mammoth known as Brutus. Collectible $0 $0 $0 28
Kitten Plushie [215] A small plush kitten. Rumour has it, if you pet its nose it will purr, but is more often heard saying Rawr! Plushie $50 $25 $624 47,219,902
Single White Rose [216] Found only near Valentine's Day in Torn City, this rose would be the perfect gift for your loved one on that special day. Collectible $0 $0 $0 351
Claymore Sword [217] The claymore is the mother of all broadswords. It's a huge, two-handed thing, approx 4ft long. Do you have the strength to wield this monster?

The Claymore Sword is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $100,000 $75,000 $74,804 53,474
Crossbow [218] A crossbow has more impact damage than a normal bow and is capable of easily piercing metal.

The Crossbow is a Piercing type of weapon.
Secondary $900 $750 $710 112,015
Enfield SA-80 [219] Gas-powered Enfield SA80 rifles have been the weapon of choice for the British Armed Forces since the 1980's. This edition comes with iron sights as standard, but various telescopic sights can be added to increase its aiming accuracy.

The Enfield SA-80 is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $250,000 $200,000 $209,760 120,199
Grenade [220] A small fragmentation grenade. Pull the pin, count to three, then throw it at your enemy.

The Grenade is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $10,000 $7,000 $6,969 11,129,119
Stick Grenade [221] Stick grenades are less powerful and have shorter fuses than their British counterparts, but weigh significantly less.

The Stick Grenade is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $8,000 $6,500 $9,413 549,799
Flash Grenade [222] Often used to blind opponents, can give an edge in battle that is very hard to overcome.

Effect: Opponent becomes Blinded, decreasing Speed to 1/5th for 15-20 seconds.

The Flash Grenade is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $12,000 $10,000 $20,580 4,954,105
Jackhammer [223] A gas operated, fully automatic only shotgun. Able to fire 240 rounds per minute, this is not your average shotgun.

The Jackhammer is a Shotgun type of weapon.
Primary $5,000,000 $4,000,000 $4,055,995 63,373
Swiss Army Knife [224] Elegant and light weight pocket knife, with several useful tools integrated.

The Swiss Army Knife is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $2,500 $2,000 $1,916 211,711
Mag 7 [225] Shotgun intended specially for close combat and operations in confined spaces, like the room-to-room searches.

The Mag 7 is a Shotgun type of weapon.
Primary $60,000 $50,000 $49,777 86,024
Smoke Grenade [226] Typically used to send signals or create a smokescreen, this grenade can be used to temporarily blind your opponent, to allow you the upper hand in attacking.

Effect: Opponent becomes Smoked, decreasing Speed to 1/3rd for 120-180 seconds.

The Smoke Grenade is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $20,000 $15,000 $82,549 3,506,128
Spear [227] A spear is an ancient weapon used for hunting and war, consisting of a shaft, usually of wood, with a sharpened head.

The Spear is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $600 $400 $321 118,347
Vektor CR-21 [228] Its futuristic looks are the result of the fact that the entire stock is made of a high-impact polymer. The only metal to be seen on the outside is part of the barrel and the flash-suppressor.

The Vektor CR-21 is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $7,500 $6,500 $6,375 77,316
Claymore Mine [229] The mine contains 700 steel spheres (10.5 grains) and 1-1/2 pound layer of composition C-4 explosive and is initiated by an electric blasting cap.

The Claymore Mine is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $15,000 $11,000 $13,324 215,107
Flare Gun [230] Can work as a weapon in a pinch, but only as a last resort. Works best as a device to create light in some of the darker missions.

The Flare Gun is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $300 $200 $145 154,489
Heckler & Koch SL8 [231] H&K SL8 is a lightweight semi automatic gas powered rifle. With a unique stock design this dependable weapon is widely sought after.

The Heckler & Koch SL8 is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $45,000 $35,000 $34,552 71,797
SIG 550 [232] The SIG 550 is a custom assault rifle. With a 20 round magazine this weapon can switch between semi automatic and full automatic firing with a flip of a switch.

The SIG 550 is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $65,000 $55,000 $54,683 59,228
BT MP9 [233] Offers a lower and more controllable rate of fire compared to other handguns, is also small enough to be effectively fired with one hand.

The BT MP9 is a SMG type of weapon.
Secondary $55,000 $40,000 $39,996 159,646
Chain Whip [234] Oriental version of the flail. Consists of 4 to 6 iron bars linked end to end by short lengths of chain.

The Chain Whip is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $2,500 $2,000 $2,425 23,738
Wooden Nunchaku [235] Consists of two wooden bars linked by a short length of chain.

The Wooden Nunchaku is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $5,000 $4,000 $4,401 24,264
Kama [236] A simple but very sharp and potentially deadly weapon like a small sickle, a favourite of ninjas.

The Kama is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $50,000 $40,000 $39,450 47,572
Kodachi [237] This 2-foot blade is considered too short to be classified as a sword, and yet at the same time it is too long to be a dagger. Consisting of a curved, single-edged blade, the Kodachi was wielded by Samurai during Japan's feudal period, and it may also have been used by civilians, who were not permitted to own longer swords such as those used by warriors and officials.

The Kodachi is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $95,000 $80,000 $97,963 129,935
Sai [238] The sai's distinctive shape makes it a versatile weapon. With skill, it can be used effectively against a long sword by trapping the sword's blade between the sai's blade and the tsuba and breaking it with a twist of the hand.

The Sai is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $1,000 $700 $774 39,470
Ninja Star [239] A lethal throwing weapon that can pierce an opponent's body before they realize an attack is under way. Conceal them, and then throw them underhand at an enemy when they least expect it.

The Ninja Star is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $500 $400 $636 1,338,271
Type 98 Anti Tank [240] Developed by the Chinese in the late ’90s, the Type 98 Anti-Tank is capable of firing unguided, high-explosive 120mm projectiles over a distance of nearly 2km. The weapon can be fired from the shoulder with minimal recoil and has been nicknamed the “Queen Bee” by its proponents.

The Type 98 Anti Tank is a Heavy artillery type of weapon.
Secondary $25,000,000 $17,000,000 $17,002,222 29,506
Bushmaster Carbon 15 [241] This top of the line assault weapon weighs less than three and a half pounds. A very effective weapon, regardless of the user's stats.

The Bushmaster Carbon 15 is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $15,000 $10,000 $9,951 114,400
HEG [242] A high-explosive grenade used to cause casualties up to a maximum of 190 meters from the point of burst.

The HEG is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $20,000 $15,000 $15,000 10,170,676
Taurus [243] This firearm has been engineered for reliability, accuracy and durability. One of the best low priced weapons you can buy.

The Taurus is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $650 $400 $326 182,023
Blowgun [244] Most often used with poison darts, can be quite effective if you don't wish your target to know they are under attack until it's far too late.

The Blowgun is a Piercing type of weapon.
Secondary $2,500 $2,000 $2,009 153,235
Bo Staff [245] A long stick carried in the hand. Can't take too much chopping, but its smooth reversal ability makes it a fluid and versatile weapon when used with skill.

The Bo Staff is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $500 $300 $270 86,068
Fireworks [246] A fascinating mix of charcoal, sulphur and saltpetre compressed into a bamboo tube. Traditionally fireworks are the sign of getting rid of the old and welcoming the new. When this is ignited and thrown at an opponent they will get a nasty surprise!

The Fireworks is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $500 $300 $295 1,182,894
Katana [247] Curved, single-edged sword, or dao, traditionally used by the Japanese samurai. In well trained hands, a deadly weapon.

The Katana is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $16,000 $13,000 $13,455 97,302
Qsz-92 [248] Most recent development of the Chinese state arms factories. Dual stack magazine holds 15 rounds. Front part of the frame under the barrel is shaped as an accessory rail to accept laser sights or flash lights.

The Qsz-92 is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $90,000 $70,000 $69,938 127,339
SKS Carbine [249] This gun, with the proper cartridges, will serve for deer hunting, pest and predator control, and emergency self defense.

The SKS Carbine is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $6,500 $5,000 $5,096 66,016
Twin Tiger Hooks [250] This versatile and lethal weapon combines the abilities of a sword, cane and dagger. Perfect for trapping, blocking and slashing.

The Twin Tiger Hooks is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $50,000 $40,000 $45,960 16,494
Wushu Double Axes [251] This is a pair of lethal axes first forged by the legendary Wushu Warrior Li Kwei. Designed to launch a flurry attack at the enemy, hacking and slashing them to pieces.

The Wushu Double Axes is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $75,000 $60,000 $58,533 20,261
Ithaca 37 [252] One of the oldest pump action shotguns still in production, this is a favourite of several generations.

The Ithaca 37 is a Shotgun type of weapon.
Primary $10,000 $7,000 $6,816 84,481
Lorcin 380 [253] This is the handgun most frequently submitted by law enforcement agencies for tracing in connection to violent crimes. Very low quality, so very much a "use and discard" weapon for short-range attacks.

The Lorcin 380 is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $300 $200 $169 161,932
S&W M29 [254] A six shot double action revolver chambered for the .44 Magnum cartridge. It will also chamber and fire .44 Special cartridges.

The S&W M29 is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $25,000 $203,367 31,429
Flamethrower [255] Built like a backpack, with dual tanks to hold the highly flammable gas. Be careful though, a well placed bullet could be the end of this powerful weapon.. and the person carrying it.

The Flamethrower is a Heavy artillery type of weapon.
Secondary $3,000,000 $2,500,000 $2,508,242 64,391
Tear Gas [256] Typically used for riot control, this non-lethal gas will temporarily blind your opponent, possibly giving you a bit of an advantage in battle.

Effect: Opponent becomes Gassed, decreasing Dexterity to 1/3rd for 120-180 seconds.

The Tear Gas is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $15,000 $10,000 $50,737 2,045,754
Throwing Knife [257] To make the best use of this weapon, skill and practice are needed, but in the right hands, this could be used for a devastating attack.

The Throwing Knife is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $35,000 $30,000 $29,814 569,135
Jaguar Plushie [258] Modelled after the third largest cat in the world, this small spotted plushie could be easily confused for a leopard. Plushie $10,000 $8,000 $15,990 3,996,623
Mayan Statue [259] Small, dark jade statue of the Mayan God Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl is the god of human sustenance, penitence, self-sacrifice, re-birth and butterflies. Other $500 $350 $2,514 919,046
Dahlia [260] Spectacular pink bloom with pointed petals, this is the national flower of Mexico. Flower $300 $250 $1,293 7,849,854
Wolverine Plushie [261] The wolverine has been described as the fiercest creature on earth, but this small plush version will only growl if you pull its tail. Plushie $30 $25 $7,785 5,810,579
Hockey Stick [262] Replica of the sticks used in the 1920 Olympics, the first year Hockey was recognized as an official Olympic sport. The Winnipeg Falcons had the honour of taking the Gold medal home to Canada. Other $400 $300 $587 1,605,461
Crocus [263] This bright blue flower is often considered the national flower of Canada. Flower $600 $400 $7,547 4,252,164
Orchid [264] Delicate pink flower, the orchid may not be a native of Hawaii, but it has made the transition to this tropical climate with ease. Flower $700 $500 $16,957 3,699,231
Pele Charm [265] This Pele Charm is a miniature testament to the goddess's power and grandeur. Crafted from lustrous gold, this small talisman captures the fiery spirit of Pele, Hawaiian Goddess of Fire and Volcanoes. Its intricate detailing and radiant shine serve as a constant reminder of Pele's passionate nature and formidable strength. A possession as enchanting as it is empowering, the charm invites the wielder to embrace their own inner fervor and resilience. Other $2,000 $1,800 $4,120 881,202
Nessie Plushie [266] Hidden in the depths of the Loch. Seeing this mythical creature will leave a lasting impression. Plushie $200 $150 $36,869 5,405,873
Heather [267] Believed to bring good luck to who possess it. These spiky purple and white flowers cover the hillsides of Scotland. Flower $5,000 $4,000 $41,424 3,065,669
Red Fox Plushie [268] Small dark red fox plushie, will serve as a memento from your trip to Britain, and your participation in a local Fox Hunt. Plushie $1,000 $750 $38,350 5,182,035
Monkey Plushie [269] Small plush monkey, made in the image of the simians, often seen around the forests of Argentina. Plushie $400 $300 $39,979 5,056,866
Soccer Ball [270] Named the Telstar, this iconic football was the official inflatable orb of the 1970 World Cup in Mexico. Consisting of 12 black pentagons and 20 white hexagons, the Telstar was designed to be more visible during black and white television broadcasts, even though hot pink and glitter would've stood out more. Nobody is quite sure why this football is so popular in Argentina, especially as 1970 was the only year they failed to qualify for the World Cup. One theory posits that the ball is often deflated and used as a makeshift toilet to disrespect the tournament's eventual winner and Argentina's hated neighbour, Brazil. Other $50 $30 $185 833,435
Ceibo Flower [271] This unusual red flower is the national flower of Argentina. Flower $500 $350 $35,205 3,264,712
Edelweiss [272] Small white blooms are the hallmark of this Swiss national flower. Flower $900 $700 $1,373 10,058,573
Chamois Plushie [273] Small plushie of a Mountain Goat. Plushie $400 $300 $7,628 11,750,785
Panda Plushie [274] One of the most recognizable endangered species, Xiong Mao, as they are called in Chinese, instantly bring to mind bamboo forests and quiet contemplation. Plushie $400 $300 $57,984 5,529,265
Jade Buddha [275] In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. - Buddha Other $12,000 $10,000 $16,518 172,971
Peony [276] While China has no official national flower, the peony, with its ruffled, pale pink blooms, is widely recognized as the national favourite. Flower $5,000 $4,000 $60,908 3,350,261
Cherry Blossom [277] This beautiful pink blossom is often considered the official flower of Japan. Flower $500 $300 $51,283 3,257,762
Kabuki Mask [278] Used in traditional Japanese theater productions, this beautiful mask can serve as a reminder of your recent trip to Tokyo. Clothing $10,000 $7,000 $6,955 230,501
Maneki Neko [279] Meant to bring good fortune and prosperity to its owner, this little cat is more than just a good luck charm. Other $50,000 $35,000 $58,733 222,096
Elephant Statue [280] This ancient ivory statue is made from the tusks of the very animal it represents,and harvesting the tusks for such artworks is ironically bringing the elephant to the brink of extinction. Other $500 $300 $4,087 759,645
Lion Plushie [281] This small plushie is modelled after the African lion. Squeeze his tummy to hear him roar. Plushie $400 $300 $61,869 7,433,611
African Violet [282] While not the national flower for Africa, this beautiful purple plant will remind you of your recent trip to the Southern African plains. Flower $2,000 $1,500 $62,967 4,910,904
Donator Pack [283] A Torn City donator pack. Using this will credit you with 31 donator days and give you 50 points!

Effect: Provides 31 days of donator status and 50 points upon opening.
Special $0 $23,500,000 $23,725,848 156,833
Bronze Paint Brush [284] This item was given for third place in one of the many art competitions held by Torn City Staff. Collectible $0 $0 $0 52
Silver Paint Brush [285] This item was given for second place in one of the many art competitions held by Torn City Staff. Collectible $0 $0 $0 52
Gold Paint Brush [286] This item was given for first place in one of the many art competitions held by Torn City Staff. Collectible $0 $0 $0 37
Pand0ra's Box [287] After being hidden for years this ancient relic has resurfaced. Mysterious wonders or tragic events await the owner. Open the box if you dare--but following your curiosity may take you down unexpected paths. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Mr Brownstone Doll [288] This rocked out doll will get up around seven Get outta bed around nine And dont worry about nothing 'cause worryin is a waste of ...time. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Dual Axes [289] Only a well trained individual would even dare to attempt to dual wield these weapons.

The Dual Axes is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 1,080
Dual Hammers [290] Only a well trained individual, ideally with some experience in carpentry, would even dare to attempt to dual wield these weapons.

The Dual Hammers is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 3,377
Dual Scimitars [291] Only a well trained individual would even dare to attempt to dual wield these weapons, and even then only after several puffs on a hookah.

The Dual Scimitars is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 2,208
Dual Samurai Swords [292] Only a well trained individual, wearing a classy kimono, would even dare to attempt to dual wield these weapons.

The Dual Samurai Swords is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 2,465
Japanese/English Dictionary [293] This Dictionary can aid you in translating words and symbols from Japanese to English or vice-versa. Other $0 $0 $0 14,133
Bottle of Sake [294] This is an alcoholic beverage much like wine, made from rice and drunk by Japanese for centuries. Sake is drunk before and after many Japanese events. Provides a small nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 1 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $39 $30 $760 959,841
Oriental Log [295] This piece of Japanese oak looks ancient. It has Japanese symbols carved all over it. Strangely, written in English on the bottom of the log there is the name 'Master Keneshi'. Other $0 $0 $0 25,048
Oriental Log Translation [296] On a piece of paper is written: He who chooses to undertake the mastery of dual weaponry need only speak my name. Other $0 $0 $0 8,596
YouYou Yo Yo [297] You can walk the dog, rock the cradle but be careful, this YouYou YoYo could turn you into meme! Collectible $0 $0 $0 25
Monkey Cuffs [298] These shiny steel manacles are used by MoNKeY to capture and restrain the bad guys of Torn City. Some lucky ladies hint they have a more naughty purpose! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Jester's Cap [299] A constant reminder that you should never take things too seriously. Wearing this cap will allow you to act a fool and be praised for it. Collectible $0 $0 $0 29
Gibal's Dragonfly [300] Gibal rides around Torn City on her dragonfly looking for wrong-doers. Once caught they are locked up for good! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Green Ornament [301] This ornament was given to Officers of Torn City for Xmas in recognition of a job well done for their time served as staff. Collectible $0 $0 $0 157
Purple Ornament [302] This ornament was given to Helpers of Torn City for Xmas in recognition of a job well done for their time served as staff. Collectible $0 $0 $0 162
Blue Ornament [303] This ornament was given to Mods of Torn City for Xmas in recognition of a job well done for their time served as staff. Collectible $0 $0 $0 117
Purple Bell [304] This ornament was given to Admins of Torn City for Xmas in recognition of a job well done for their time served as staff. Collectible $0 $0 $0 18
Mistletoe [305] A kiss under the mistletoe is said to bring good luck for the year ahead. Why not share this tradition with someone special this year? Other $0 $5 $366,665 17,502
Mini Sleigh [306] A miniature replica of the very same one Santa uses when delivering presents to the good boys and girls of Torn City. Other $0 $5 $500 14,165
Snowman [307] Comes complete with silk top hat, button nose and two eyes made out of coal. Perfect winter decoration for any home. Other $0 $5 $69,000 14,267
Christmas Gnome [308] A small misshapen mischievous sprite who makes Christmas wishes of 2006 come true. Other $0 $5 $0 14,339
Gingerbread House [309] Snowdrifts of icing, walls of gingerbread: this house is a replica of the first home decorated for Xmas in Torn City. Other $0 $5 $0 15,916
Lollipop [310] Tasty fruity candy lolly for lovers, friends, whiny noobs and spoilt brats alike to enjoy! Available in strawberry, blueberry, banana and chocolate flavours. Provides a small happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 25 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $25 $10 $417 59,425,225
Mardi Gras Beads [311] These beads are from the Mardi Gras and thrown by Body. Do you have what it takes to get a set of them? Collectible $0 $0 $0 25
Devil Toy [312] Tasmanian devil that is. This little fella has been known to create havoc wherever he goes including staff channels, faction forums and anywhere newbies lurk. Rumour has it only Tazzy can control this little whirlwind. Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
Cookie Launcher [313] A non-working replica of Mix's Cookie launcher, used to launch cookies at his IRC buddies. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Cursed Moon Pendant [314] Be wary of this sacred item. The bearer of this pendant will be put under a spell and become a slave to the evillest of all staff members, Luna. The maker of this pendant cannot be held responsible for any actions you may perform while under its spell. You have been warned. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Apartment Blueprint [315] Designs of an Apartment for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Semi-Detached House Blueprint [316] Designs of a Semi-Detached house for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Detached House Blueprint [317] Designs of a Detached house for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Beach House Blueprint [318] Designs of a Beach house for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Chalet Blueprint [319] Designs of a Chalet for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Villa Blueprint [320] Designs of a Villa for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Penthouse Blueprint [321] Designs of a Penthouse for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Mansion Blueprint [322] Designs of a Mansion for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Ranch Blueprint [323] Designs of a Ranch for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Palace Blueprint [324] Designs of a Palace for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Castle Blueprint [325] Designs of a Castle for construction purposes. Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Printing Paper [326] Paper, very similar to the type money is printed on.

Effect: Required for counterfeiting money.
Material $75,000 $0 $77,885 102,330
Blank Tokens [327] Blank casino token slugs.

Effect: Required for counterfeiting casino tokens.
Material $100,000 $0 $69,349 117,411
PVC Cards [328] A stack of high-quality Polyvinyl Chloride (PVC) cards, each with a printable surface ready to be customized to your needs. Whether you're looking to forge a driver's license or create a membership card for The Torn City Society of Fieldmice, this durable and flexible material will ensure that your design looks authentic even if you've just printed it off at home!

Effect: Used during the production of forgery projects.
Material $12,500 $0 $19,517 357,856
Skateboard [329] Device used for transportation and entertainment.

Effect: Permanently increases Speed by 1%. Increases booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $450,000,000 $0 $432,250,000 6,645
Boxing Gloves [330] Worn to protect hands during a boxing event.

Effect: Permanently increases Defense by 1%. Increases booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $450,000,000 $0 $447,892,856 6,570
Dumbbells [331] Device used to increase muscle mass.

Effect: Permanently increases Strength by 1%. Increases booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $450,000,000 $0 $447,953,662 6,109
Combat Vest [332] This prototype armor improves on the build of the Outer Tactical Vest to bring its wearer even more protection, making it the lightest, most technologically advanced piece of protective armor ever issued to the Armed Forces of the United States. Defensive $3,500,000 $2,700,000 $3,423,228 61,226
Liquid Body Armor [333] Liquid polyethylene glycol and hard nano-particles of silica combined and soaked into all layers of kevlar to make a uniquely flexible and lightweight body armor with amazing stopping power. Top Secret development model! Defensive $7,500,000 $4,500,000 $6,262,383 20,997
Flexible Body Armor [334] Classified! Top Secret! Defensive $15,000,000 $9,000,000 $14,137,500 39,098
Stick of Dynamite [335] A small stick of dynamite. This thing could cause a lot of damage if used in the right place...

Effect: Required for Bombing crime.
Other $50,000 $35,000 $38,141 391,460
Cesium-137 [336] A man made radioactive element produced by breaking up uranium atoms. It remains dangerous for hundreds of years until losing its radiation.

Effect: Component used in the construction of a Dirty Bomb.
Special $0 $0 $625,000,000 6,457
Dirty Bomb [337] A weapon which combines radioactive material with explosives. A dirty bomb would be unlikely to cause many deaths; its main purpose would be to cause a mass panic.

Effect: Damages a faction's respect and cripples its members with radiation poisoning and hospital time.
Special $0 $0 $0 38
Sh0rty's Surfboard [338] Feel the force of Sh0rty's surfboard as he rides past you working his way around Torn City! Collectible $0 $0 $0 24
Puzzle Piece [339] This oddly shaped item was left over from the last time its owner, Chris, attempted to do a puzzle. Holds some importance.... Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Hunny Pot [340] This Hunny pot is gold plated and is filled with all the yummy sweetness of honey from contented bees. It is believed to contain the source of Acid's sweetness. Collectible $0 $0 $0 22
Seductive Stethoscope [341] The enigmatic Drmark uses this cold instrument to pick up the heated flutter of a lovestruck lady or the palpitations of a troubled wrongdoer, keeping the population of Torn City healthy. Collectible $0 $0 $0 21
Dollar Bill Collectible [342] This item is so rare that only a few bills were printed. It can only be obtained on the item market during Dollar Day Sales. It costs one dollar to purchase, but due to limited printing it is worth a small fortune. Collectible $0 $0 $0 78
Backstage Pass [343] This backstage pass gave special benefits to its holder by allowing them to have met performers after concerts held by Torn City Radio. Collectible $0 $0 $0 21
Chemi's Magic Potion [344] This homemade pink brew is powerful, one sip will leave you feeling like you can beat anyone. Collectible $0 $0 $0 18
Pack of Trojans [345] Magnum rubbers for the gangster who really knows how to use his gun. Other $0 $0 $0 2,097
Pair of High Heels [346] High Heels - essential weaponry in the control of the male species. Ho or Foe, still can be used to smack an average Joe.

The Pair of High Heels is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $3,291 40,790
Thong [347] Thongs...Not a wise choice if you have too much junk in your trunk. Clothing $0 $0 $9,170 44,308
Hazmat Suit [348] A fully encapsulating garment worn as protection from hazardous materials or substances.

Effect: Immunity to Radiation, Nerve Gas, Tear Gas, Pepper Spray, and Sand.
Defensive $0 $0 $0 390
Flea Collar [349] Keep those pesky critters away whilst swinging round the city. A rare must-have before it was discontinued. Reminiscent of golden times. The tag reads "Shadow Still a pup". Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Dunkin's Donut [350] The feeling of invincibility gained by eating one of these cream filled masterpieces has been known to make HOF factions tremble with fear. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Amazon Doll [351] Modeled after Wild_Irish_Btch, this doll shows that women can stomp your face into the ground while towering above the men of Torn City. Doll comes equipped with a bag of Cheetos, a Teddy Bear plushie, a replica of Brutus, and an avid love of midgets. Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
BBQ Smoker [352] You have to be pretty fast to steal the brisket inside this smoker. Which just happened to be stolen right after this collectible was made. Body and a drifter hobo were both seen eating brisket in the vicinity shortly afterwards. st0ne was last seen crying in his backyard. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Bag of Cheetos [353] A jumbo bag of these orange cheese twists for late nights on the job. Favored by midgets of all types. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Motorbike [354] You can often find Numbat tearing it up through the city's darkest streets on this, seeking prey. Beware the spiked tires! Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
Citrus Squeezer [355] Commonly used by lem0n to put the squeeze on during lengthy interrogations. Also handy to make a refreshing drink on a warm day. Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
Superman Shades [356] Said to bestow Superman-like powers on the wearer, these ordinary looking shades are rumoured to make all of your stats appear the same. Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
Kevlar Helmet [357] Standard infantry combat wear in the US military. The shell is made from kevlar, a ballistic aramid fabric treated with a phenolic resin system. Collectible $0 $0 $0 19
Raw Ivory [358] A raw elephant tusk. A hard, smooth yellowish-white substance. Other $0 $70,000 $72,225 55,161
Fine Chisel [359] A tool with a cutting edge on its end. This particular type of chisel can be used to sculpt ivory.

The Fine Chisel is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $22 84,033
Ivory Walking Cane [360] A handmade walking cane. Used by some of the oldest citizens in Torn City, helping them to get around while they commit various crimes and attend physiotherapy gym sessions.

The Ivory Walking Cane is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 12,481
Neumune Tablet [361] Neumune, an androstenediol, was introduced as a radiation countermeasure by the US Armed Forces Radiobiology Research Institute and has begun production in Switzerland. Neumune is in Investigational New Drug (IND) status and Phase I trials have been performed.

Effect: Reduces radiation hospital time by 3 hours and radiation effect by 12 hours. Increases medical cooldown by 3 hours.
Medical $900,000 $700,000 $791,918 224,141
Mr Torn Crown '08 [362] Awarded to -KC [130919] for winning the Mr Torn City awards 2008! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Ms Torn Crown '08 [363] Awarded to AylaTayla [350383] for winning the Miss Torn City awards 2008! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Box of Grenades [364] A box of 100 grenades, courtesy of the Eaglewood mercenary group.

Effect: Provides 100 Grenades or 100 HEGs when opened.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $1,079,496 549,269
Box of Medical Supplies [365] A box of medical supplies, courtesy of the Torn City Health Service.

Effect: Provides 20 Morphine, 20 Empty Blood Bags, 30 First Aid Kits, or 50 Small First Aid Kits when opened.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $222,037 2,831,806
Erotic DVD [366] An Erotic DVD, courtesy of the Performance Ribaldry Network.

Effect: Increases happiness by 2,500 and booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $3,601,305 2,227,414
Feathery Hotel Coupon [367] A coupon to stay at one of the world's best hotels, courtesy of the Feathery Hotels Group.

Effect: Refills energy. Increases happiness by 500 and booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $12,280,285 2,020,809
Lawyer's Business Card [368] This card has the number of a professional defense lawyer on it, courtesy of the Legal Authorities Group.

Effect: Removes all jail time and increases booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Booster $0 $0 $252,135 743,480
Lottery Voucher [369] A lottery voucher which can be traded in for 100 lottery tickets for the weekly draw, courtesy of the Lucky Shot Casino.

Effect: Provides 100 Lucky Shot Lotto tickets when used.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $860,672 2,680,358
Drug Pack [370] A drug pack from Symbiotic Ltd. Contains either 10x Xanax or 10x Vicodin.

Effect: Provides 10 Xanax or 10 Vicodin when opened.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $4,122,340 1,724,662
Dark Doll [371] Legend has it that this doll was made in the darkest depths of a castle by the typing of a keyboard. It is said that whenever someone needs help, another thread is woven deep within the doll. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Empty Box [372] An empty box. Items can be placed in to this box turning it into a parcel. It can then be sent to other people.

Effect: Can be filled with items to create a Parcel.
Special $5 $3 $23 10,324,476
Parcel [373] A parcel containing one or more items.

Effect: Can be opened to receive the items inside.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $0 310,189
Birthday Present [374] A birthday present, containing one or more items.

Effect: Can be opened to receive the items inside.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $0 57,156
Present [375] A present neatly wrapped with generic wrapping paper, containing one or more items.

Effect: Can be opened to receive the items inside.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $0 112,529
Christmas Present [376] A Christmas present, containing one or more items.

Effect: Can be opened to receive the items inside.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $0 42,303
Birthday Wrapping Paper [377] A roll of expensive birthday wrapping paper. Can be used on a parcel to turn it into a birthday present.

Effect: Wraps parcels turning them into Birthday Presents.
Material $30 $20 $381 1,096,054
Generic Wrapping Paper [378] A roll of standard wrapping paper. Can be used on a parcel to turn it into a present.

Effect: Wraps parcels turning them into Presents.
Material $20 $15 $397 1,540,066
Christmas Wrapping Paper [379] A roll of expensive Christmas wrapping paper. Can be used on a parcel to turn it into a Christmas present.

Effect: Wraps parcels turning them into Christmas Presents.
Material $30 $20 $204 1,747,130
Small Explosive Device [380] A very small explosive device. Generally used in parcels to give the opener a nasty surprise.

Effect: Can be hidden inside a parcel to hospitalize someone for 5 hours upon opening.
Special $0 $0 $5,056,244 129,129
Gold Laptop [381] Stun others with this exclusive limited edition solid gold laptop. Crafted from one single block of 99.9% pure gold. Use it while travelling, if your arms can bear the weight.

Effect: Can be used to access additional services while traveling and program viruses.
Tool $8,000,000,000 $0 $0 10
Gold Plated AK-47 [382] One of the best rifles in the world, made even better. This highly tuned, gold plated AK-47 Kalashnikov will send fear coursing through the blood of your enemies. Configured to fire an extended magazine of ammunition, it's not the cheapest, but it'll certainly leave a mark.

The Gold Plated AK-47 is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $25,000,000,000 $0 $0 257
Platinum PDA [383] This luxury, platinum plated personal data assistant has a large storage area for contacts. Boosting your friend and enemy capacity by 500, you'll never be without company again.

Effect: Increases friends list and enemies list capacity by +500.
Enhancer $12,000,000,000 $0 $0 2
Camel Plushie [384] This rare camel plushie will instantly remind you of Arabian nights within the U.A.E. Plushie $14,000 $11,000 $81,844 4,480,078
Tribulus Omanense [385] Originating in the desert, and soon to become Dubai's official flower, the Tribulus Omanense is a hermaphroditic flower that can survive very harsh conditions. Flower $6,000 $4,000 $64,019 3,193,455
Sports Sneakers [386] This pair of limited edition sneakers will prove their value in the gym. Rumoured to increase speed gains by up to 5%, these lightweight and durable shoes will leave your enemies in the dust.

Effect: Increases speed gains in the gym by 5%.
Enhancer $14,000,000,000 $0 $0 53
Handbag [387] A platinum plated handbag to keep thieves at bay. Its diamond studs will deliver a nasty blow to any opponent.

The Handbag is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $16,000,000,000 $0 $0 27
Pink Mac-10 [388] Don't let the pink fool you. With a seriously extended magazine this rapid fire, automatic, sub machine-gun will mow down enemies with ease.

The Pink Mac-10 is a SMG type of weapon.
Secondary $23,000,000,000 $0 $0 15
Mr Torn Crown '09 [389] Awarded to GodsCurse [785385] for winning the Mr Torn City awards 2009! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Ms Torn Crown '09 [390] Awarded to Lullsbud [945705] for winning the Miss Torn City awards 2009! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Macana [391] This South American dagger with a handle of the finest Amazon timber is sharper than it looks. This extremely light, hand crafted weapon is very accurate.

The Macana is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $100,000 $80,000 $81,593 142,087
Pepper Spray [392] The spray contains 200 grams of weapons grade pepper, and once fired can incapacitate your opponent for several seconds. Perfect for that extra edge during a fight.

Effect: Opponent becomes Maced, decreasing Dexterity to 1/5th for 15-20 seconds.

The Pepper Spray is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $800 $600 $1,377 18,517,990
Slingshot [393] This weapon is perfect against a more powerful opponent, although contrary to popular opinion, it was a sling, not a slingshot, which was used by David against Goliath. Thank you to the ******* pedant who pointed this out.

The Slingshot is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $10 $9 94,470
Brick [394] The brick is a crude way to disable your opponent, but it's easily acquired from any DIY store or building site, and deadly if you can hit your target in a tender spot.

Effect: Used in the disposal of a vehicle.

The Brick is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $5 $3 $453 142,282,243
Metal Nunchaku [395] The Metal Nunchakus are easily concealed when folded, but once opened become a weapon with lethal force for someone with Martial Arts training.

The Metal Nunchaku is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $400,000 $300,000 $417,072 76,414
Business Class Ticket [396] If you want to travel in style and comfort, the only way to do this is to travel in business class. Stretch your legs and relax. You can use this two way ticket at the travel agency, and you'll be at your destination before you know it!

Effect: Provides a return business class trip which reduces flight duration by 70%. Grants a base travel capacity of 15.
Special $0 $0 $6,849,167 117,087
Flail [397] Used by knights in ancient times, it is still a devastating weapon in the right hands. This very rare medieval flail is highly inaccurate but will deliver a massive blow to anyone standing in its way.

The Flail is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $8,000,000 $6,000,000 $6,249,995 3,340
SIG 552 [398] This rifle is a very powerful weapon and comes with a folding leaf sight.

The SIG 552 is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $7,500,000 $3,750,000 $6,299,997 13,519
ArmaLite M-15A4 [399] Made from the latest composites, this lightweight but powerful rifle is perfect for the experienced shooter.

The ArmaLite M-15A4 is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $20,000,000 $15,000,000 $18,870,562 44,382
Guandao [400] This Chinese pole weapon has a heavy blade, and a rear spike for when you swing it back around. Truly a weapon for the finest assassins. Not the best accuracy but hits hard!

The Guandao is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $200,000 $150,000 $149,567 24,162
Lead Pipe [401] The lead pipe is quite clumsy and heavy, but a big swing can result in some devastating damage to your opponent.

The Lead Pipe is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $150 $100 $55 506,979
Ice Pick [402] Nice and light, the ice pick is easy to handle, but is very sharp and can cause significant damage. Also useful for preparing drinks at parties after a hard week of crime.

The Ice Pick is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $20,000 $15,000 $14,938 49,114
Box of Tissues [403] The perfect present to dry the tears of your opponent in battle. If you win, that is.

Effect: Increases happiness by 5-20 if under 20% of maximum.
Special $20 $10 $61 10,115,602
Bandana [404] Always nice to wear on warm summer days walking around the city. But be careful as sometimes it's the mark of a gang member. Clothing $500 $300 $224 935,368
Loaf of Bread [405] Considered the staple of many diets, bread tastes best when covered slightly with butter or margarine. Other $0 $1 $0 5,385
Afro Comb [406] Perfect for those bad hair days when your hair just will not behave, the afro comb will get you ready for your date on time. Other $50,000 $30,000 $29,608 105,686
Compass [407] This was the GPS of its time, and it made sure that weary travellers could find their way even in the most difficult conditions. Other $2,500 $1,750 $7,587 363,984
Sextant [408] Modern cruiseliners do not need a sextant these days, but they are made from the finest bronze and adorn many a Captain's cabin. Other $25,000 $15,000 $15,248 55,373
Yucca Plant [409] Native to hot and dry climates, this ornamental plant has tough sword shaped leaves. It is also the state flower of New Mexico and is perfect for your island garden. Other $20,000 $7,500 $7,089 278,021
Fire Hydrant [410] The Fire Hydrant is needed in case of fire, especially if you have invested heavily in your property and you want the firemen to put the flames out more quickly. Other $20,000 $15,000 $15,112 136,217
Model Space Ship [411] This ship is made of die cast metal and has red LED lights. You can sit back and think about travelling where no one has gone before. Other $17,500 $13,000 $13,044 94,961
Sports Shades [412] The ultimate accessory when driving your GT40 with the top down on the highway, these shades are made from a non scratch material. One pair of these last a lifetime. Clothing $10,000 $3,000 $2,835 834,153
Mountie Hat [413] Worn by the Canadian Mounted Police while on duty, it can keep your head warm and dry or keep the sun out of your eyes. Clothing $30,000 $22,500 $21,286 165,270
Proda Sunglasses [414] The ultimate in city chic, these should only be worn when you want to dress to impress. Clothing $100,000 $2,000 $1,861 813,459
Ship in a Bottle [415] People always wonder how the ship got inside the bottle. If you look closely at this amazing ornament you can see tiny sailors on the deck. Other $40,000 $25,000 $24,776 40,888
Paper Weight [416] This piece of office equipment has many uses, not just for keeping paper under control on a busy desk. Truly a multi function device. Other $1,500 $1 $2,030 285,912
RS232 Cable [417] This miracle of modern computing technology is rumoured to be able to connect absolutely any two devices together. Other $30 $15 $37 3,672,261
Tailor's Dummy [418] This dummy is not only great to try out your latest designs on. It can keep you company on lonely evenings or even serve as a deterrent to would be burglars. Other $10,000 $7,500 $7,239 118,137
Small Suitcase [419] The suitcase is something the frequent traveller cannot be without, and this one has a special lead lined hidden compartment should you need to carry contraband. This particular model will allow you to carry 2 more items back with you.

Effect: Increases travel capacity by +2. Does not stack with other suitcases.
Enhancer $2,000,000 $1,000,000 $1,078,214 11,520
Medium Suitcase [420] The suitcase is something the frequent traveller cannot be without, and this one has a special lead lined hidden compartment should you need to carry contraband. This particular model will allow you to carry 3 more items back with you.

Effect: Increases travel capacity by +3. Does not stack with other suitcases.
Enhancer $4,000,000 $2,000,000 $4,184,999 10,112
Large Suitcase [421] The suitcase is something the frequent traveller cannot be without, and this one has a special lead lined hidden compartment should you need to carry contraband. This particular model will allow you to carry 4 more items back with you.

Effect: Increases travel capacity by +4. Does not stack with other suitcases.
Enhancer $10,000,000 $5,000,000 $10,020,089 83,947
Vanity Hand Mirror [422] This compact mirror is ideal to check yourself out before the big date.

Effect: Can be used to check appearance.
Special $0 $0 $14,872 70,672
Poker Chip [423] A very rare, lucky poker chip. Carry this in your pocket in your next big tournament; hopefully it will bring you good luck. Collectible $0 $0 $0 654
Rabbit Foot [424] This is said to bestow good luck and fortune for those who own one, but be careful: losing it brings massive bad luck. Collectible $0 $0 $0 382
Voodoo Doll [425] This doll is for sale to unsuspecting tourists who assume it is a long forgotten art, only to run into bad luck once they return home. Collectible $0 $0 $0 235
Bottle of Tequila [426] Full to begin with, empty at the end, be sure to bring one of these back from your holidays in Mexico. Provides a small nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 1 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $85 $60 $626 4,103,251
Sumo Doll [427] Whether it be from fear or respect, you definitely need to hold this doll in high regard. Other $300 $175 $4,544 478,462
Casino Pass [428] The perfect gift for the avid gambler, this pass allows you to stay and gamble after hours, so you can try to make your losses back.

Effect: Provides 50 Casino Tokens upon use.
Special $0 $0 $18,442,415 38,764
Chopsticks [429] You can't go to Japan without giving your next meal a chance with a pair of these chopsticks. Definitely a must have item and experience while visiting. Other $25 $10 $1,127 433,558
Coconut Bra [430] While traveling in Hawaii and enjoying the amazing beaches they offer, don't forget your Hawaiian attire! Clothing $750,000 $300,000 $299,996 19,985
Dart Board [431] Be sure to stop in to the local pub for a quick game of darts while visiting London. Other $750 $500 $1,920 338,692
Crazy Straw [432] Bend them, stretch them, do as you please with them, but don't get caught without one in your drink. Other $25 $10 $375 1,946,938
Sensu [433] The traditional Japanese fan can be used to keep you cool, or placed for a traditional Japanese look in any room. Other $500 $300 $2,149 141,826
Yakitori Lantern [434] This bright red lantern will help guide to the nearest Yakitori stall for a quick bite to eat. Other $4,500 $3,000 $2,995 149,135
Dozen White Roses [435] When you need just that special gift, nothing says it better than a dozen pure white roses. Specially selected, very rare and expensive flowers. Flower $950,000,000 $0 $0 115
Snowboard [436] This is a must have accessory when visiting the slopes in Switzerland. Other $6,000 $4,000 $3,943 528,181
Glow Stick [437] They come in many colors and make the perfect accessory for a night out in the city with your friends.

Effect: Used during the production of forgery projects.
Material $0 $0 $466,613 355,928
Cricket Bat [438] Made from the finest willow and protected with linseed oil, this bat can literally knock your opponent for six.

The Cricket Bat is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $15,000 $10,000 $9,846 76,464
Frying Pan [439] Usually used in the kitchen, it can be a very handy weapon if nothing else is to hand. Makes a loud noise on contact so make sure no witnesses are around.

The Frying Pan is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $400 $300 $243 230,467
Pillow [440] Filled with the finest duck feathers, it is hard to miss your opponent with this pillow. Make sure you swing hard as it is very soft to the touch.

The Pillow is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $10,000,000 $0 $8,833 164,775
Khinkeh P0rnStar Doll [441] This doll can only be possessed by the most deviant, twisted and gifted of sexually explicit individuals. Its owner will soon find their senses heightened their stamina full and their abilities peaked. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Blow-Up Doll [442] This item is a Collectable fake female, after all there are no girlz on the interwebz. Good set of lungs required. Puncture proof guaranteed! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Strawberry Milkshake [443] Made with extra loving care by Hate_Train with some of his favorite special ingredients. This is an amazingly tasty and refreshing treat the entire family can enjoy. Or is it? Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Breadfan Doll [444] This doll is quite harmless unless provoked. Then it's Screw it all with no regrets. If you have drawn his shortest straw, sleep with one eye open. Here comes the Harvester of sorrow. Your life will be blackened by the God that failed. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Chaos Man [445] The name of this guy strikes fear into everyone. But on the inside he is all soft and tender. Filled with innocence, Chaos Man is best handled with a nice warm hug. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Karate Man [446] This karate master bruises on the inside, and be careful not to get too close as he has a kung fu grip. KACHOW! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Burmese Flag [447] This flag represents what the secretary Baalsagoth spends most of his day admiring. Huge IP's and broken browsers surely will follow. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Bl0ndie's Dictionary [448] When your spelling is as bad as 'the typo queen' Bl0ndie's you will always need to carry a dictionary. Also gives a mighty whack when used to hit people who bring up her mistakes. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Hydroponic Grow Tent [449] This tent can be set up in any small space and every crop will easily generate more than enough Skunk to keep even Hydr0 well stoned into the wee hours! Own one of these and you no longer have to pay the man, You can be the man! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Leopard Coin [450] An attempt by Edward III to produce a gold coin to be used internationally, much like the Florin but only half of the value. The Leopard bore the following Latin legend: 'DOMINE NE IN FURORE TUO ARGUAS ME', meaning: 'O Lord, rebuke me not in Thy anger'. The Florin was recalled and melted down in 1344 to produce the Noble. Few specimens have survived of what is often regarded as one of the most beautiful medieval coins ever produced. Artifact $0 $0 $1,429,999 26,933
Florin Coin [451] An English coin based on a French coin, and issued in Florence, Italy in 1252. The Florin was made from gold and was intended as an international coin, however the gold it was made from was overvalued and the coin was not accepted by international merchants. The coin was then withdrawn from circulation and melted down to form the Noble. Because of this, the Florin is very rare. Artifact $0 $0 $1,383,333 26,984
Gold Noble Coin [452] The first mass-produced English coin, preceded by the Florin, the gold Noble was valued at six shillings and eight pence. The coin was introduced in 1344, and weighed 138.5 grains, later reduced to 128.5 grains. Mentioned in Shakespeare's plays, this coin is sought after by museums and private collectors. Artifact $0 $0 $1,474,747 27,008
Ganesha Sculpture [453] Also known as Ganapati, worshipped widely throughout Hindu India as the remover of obstacles. Ganesha has figured often in Indian art since around 100 AD. This rare work is made from gold and is highly sought after as part of a set of South Asian artifacts. Artifact $0 $0 $11,374,998 6,283
Vairocana Buddha Sculpture [454] The Vairocana Buddha is an embodiment of Dharmakaya. It is well known as the generalised depiction of the historical Gautama Buddha.Throughout Asia the image has different meanings: in Tibet - 'the illuminator' and in Japan - 'great sun'. Not as common as other Buddhist sculptures, this valuable gold specimen is a great collector's item. Artifact $0 $0 $0 9,541
Quran Script : Ibn Masud [455] The Qur'an, which in Arabic means 'the recitation', is recognized by Muslims as the main miracle of prophet Muhammad, and is a compilation of divine messages. It is a book of guidance as opposed to an account of specific events. This particular script is the Ibn Masud version, and is extremely valuable in a set of all three versions. Artifact $0 $0 $11,826,663 9,397
Quran Script : Ubay Ibn Ka'b [456] The Qur'an, which in Arabic means 'the recitation', is recognized by Muslims as the main miracle of prophet Muhammad, and is a compilation of divine messages. It is a book of guidance as opposed to an account of specific events. This particular script is the Ubay Ibn Ka'b version, and is extremely valuable in a set of all three versions. Artifact $0 $0 $12,500,000 9,069
Quran Script : Ali [457] The Qur'an, which in Arabic means 'the recitation', is recognized by Muslims as the main miracle of prophet Muhammad, and is a compilation of divine messages. It is a book of guidance as opposed to an account of specific events. This particular script is the Ali version, and is extremely valuable in a set of all three versions. Artifact $0 $0 $12,344,726 9,326
Shabti Sculpture [458] Shabtis were placed in the tomb among the gods of the grave, acting as a substitute for the dead. The Egyptians believed that when they passed into the afterlife they would be called to do manual labour. The shabtis would then take their place and do the work, leaving the deceased to rest in peace. Shabtis from famous tombs are very rare, reflecting their high value. Artifact $0 $0 $18,500,000 12,791
Egyptian Amulet [459] These amulets, often in the form of a scarab beetle, were left in tombs as grave goods or given to people and the gods as presents. The Scarab, or 'Kheper' (which means "to transform"), was used in many of the pharaonic names. Pharaoh Amenhotep III was famous for his group of '5 scarabs'. This particular amulet is made from fired clay. Artifact $0 $0 $0 512
White Senet Pawn [460] An ancient game piece used in the game of Senet. As a complete set of 5 white pawns, 5 black pawns, and the Senet board, this collection would be very valuable to any collector or museum. Artifact $0 $0 $7,890,833 30,610
Black Senet Pawn [461] An ancient game piece used in the game of Senet. As a complete set of 5 white pawns, 5 black pawns, and the Senet board, this collection would be very valuable to any collector or museum. Artifact $0 $0 $7,348,333 30,151
Senet Board [462] Senet, or Senat is regarded as possibly the oldest board game in the world. Found in Predynastic and First Dynasty burials of Egypt, around 3500BC and 3100BC. The game is similar to draughts, with a board of 30 squares (3x10). The game is played with two sets of at least 5 pawns. Although Senet sets are mass produced today, this original set from around 3200BC would be priceless for a keen collector. Artifact $0 $0 $391,049 30,111
Epinephrine [463] Epinephrine is released from the adrenal glands when the user is in danger or excited. It prepares the user for these situations by boosting the supply of oxygen and glucose to the brain and muscles also increasing heart rate and suppressing the immune system. When used in combat, this steroid will provide a massive bonus to strength.

Effect: User becomes Strengthened, increasing Strength by 500% for 120 seconds.

The Epinephrine is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $900,000 $675,000 $899,252 236,678
Melatonin [464] Melatonin reduces the effects of disease and pain and in other tests, Melatonin can possibly increase one's concentration levels. When used in combat, this steroid will provide a massive bonus to speed.

Effect: User becomes Hastened, increasing Speed by 500% for 120 seconds.

The Melatonin is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $300,000 $225,000 $297,195 335,041
Serotonin [465] Serotonin acts as a pain killer, and helps with blood clotting. Tests on animals show that serotonin can make the animal more dominant and aggressive. When used in combat, this steroid will provide a massive bonus to defense, and may even replenish some life.

Effect: User becomes Hardened, increasing Defense by 300% for 120 seconds and replenishing life by 25%.

The Serotonin is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $1,300,000 $975,000 $1,308,994 202,159
Snow Globe '09 [466] These sit quietly all year round out of view, but at Christmas time one shake of this globe is the perfect reminder of the festive season. Collectible $0 $0 $0 2,639
Dancing Santa Claus '09 [467] This hand me down from your favourite auntie lights up the room and gets everyone singing their favourite Christmas carols. Collectible $0 $0 $27,499,998 16,376
Christmas Stocking '09 [468] This stocking is never worn, but at Christmas time it is filled with lots of tasty goodies and hopefully a few presents. Collectible $0 $0 $0 5
Santa's Elf '09 [469] Santa's elves work hard all year round. This figurine was made in recognition of their efforts, and is sold in secret stores around the city. Collectible $0 $0 $0 402
Christmas Card '09 [470] Send this clever card, made from 100% recycled paper, to your loved ones at Christmas. It has a sweet festive rhyme inside if you are lost for words. Collectible $0 $0 $0 5
Admin Portrait '09 [471] A portrait of Clansy, Wolfeh, Davz and Ched. To hang above the mantel while the fire glows. We give you this gift because we care, No really we dont mind if you sit and stare. We know you guys luff us the best, Ched even wore his best Christmas vest. Merry Christmas! Collectible $0 $0 $0 38
Blue Easter Egg [472] Fear not, mortal. You are now under the protection of Blue. Guarded by my presence, danger itself shall fear you. Your human form is frail and weak. But with my help, thou art fortified against all peril. Together, we shall defy death. I will see to it that you resist the lure of the afterlife with every ounce of strength. Onward, soldier. To victory!

Effect: Increases current life to 3x maximum and booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $0 14,961
Green Easter Egg [473] Hey champ! Are you ready to take on the world? No worries if not. But if you are in the right place spiritually, I'm here for you with a bolt of fresh, organic, unfiltered, recycled, cruelty-free filtered energy. Gulp me down and feel me deep inside your core! Because with my green glow on your side, you'll be ready to attack the day and crush your goals. I believe in you. Carpe diem!

Effect: Increases energy by 500 and booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $0 49,362
Red Easter Egg [474] Lookin' for a lil nerve, are ya? Thought so. Folks always come crawling back to old red when they're feelin' yellow. That happy little freak might make ya'll giddy inside, but old red will kick you in the balls and pull you up by your bootstraps. And then steal your boots. And kick you in the balls again. What was I sayin? Ah, who gives a rat's hole. Wanna burn a warehouse?

Effect: Increases nerve by 250 and booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $0 47,421
Yellow Easter Egg [475] Isn't Torn City great? Life is good here. All the people are so friendly and kind. Look at that cute squirrel! I wonder if he has a family. Families are great. I love to think about my family and smile. Do you like smiling? Smile with me. Let's smile together. Oh wow, there's that squirrel again. Is he smiling? I had no idea squirrels could smile. A smile is the best thing to wear, and it's free! What are you wearing? A frown? Let's turn that frown... You guessed it! Upside down. Hahaha. We're having so much fun together.

Effect: Increases happiness by 10,000 and booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $0 59,771
White Easter Egg [476] Welcome to the circle of sobriety, friend. There are no judgments here, only love. By embracing my light, you will take the first step on the long road to recovery. My white exterior represents hope. Hope that you will one day free yourself from the chains of addiction. Each time you partake of my pureness, the grip of substance shall release a little more. Give me your hand. Let us form a circle. One egg at a time, we will conquer your demons together.

Effect: Halves current drug addiction and increases booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $0 41,714
Black Easter Egg [477] Money makes the world go round, and the black egg is here to make sure you're spinning in the right direction. My returns are uncorrelated with traditional asset classes, providing valuable diversification in the field of portfolio optimization. Your eyes have glazed over. Don't worry, I've got this. You want to be a high roller, right? First, you have to roll the dough. Then, we make bread.

Effect: Provides money and increases booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $0 9,525
Gold Easter Egg [478] Feeling tired, bro? No sweat, bro. The gold egg's got your back. I'll have you powering through your fitness goals in less time than it takes to make scrambles. We're gonna crush it, broseph. Unless you wanna be a field mouse for the rest of your life. Is that what you want? Huh? Answer me. What's up, cat got your tongue, wickle mousey? There we go. Now you're getting pissed off. I like that. Use it. Abuse it. Unleash the beast within!

Effect: Permanently increases all battle stats by 1% and booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $0 5,255
Metal Dog Tag [479] A solid metal dog tag, given to winners of the yearly happy tagging competition. Collectible $0 $0 $0 199
Bronze Dog Tag [480] A solid bronze dog tag, given to the 3rd place winner of the yearly happy tagging competition. Collectible $0 $0 $0 11
Silver Dog Tag [481] A solid silver dog tag, given to the 2nd place winner of the yearly happy tagging competition. Collectible $0 $0 $0 11
Gold Dog Tag [482] A solid gold dog tag, given to the 1st place winner of the yearly happy tagging competition. Collectible $0 $0 $0 11
MP5k [483] A short version of the standard MP5. The MP5k is a short-range weapon with a lot of fire power.

The MP5k is a SMG type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $500 $433 100,260
AK74U [484] A shortened AK74. The AK74U has roughly the same dimensions and range as most Submachine Guns, but has the advantage of standard issue assault rifle ammunition.

The AK74U is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $0 $500 $8,632 62,238
Skorpion [485] This Czech weapon was designed for police, but is also used by some military units. It offers single shot, 3 burst fires and fully automatic functions.

The Skorpion is a SMG type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $500 $402 195,870
TMP [486] This modern SMG has a blowback operated, locked breech design. The TMP has no stock and can therefore, only be fired from pistol-style.

The TMP is a SMG type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $500 $435 136,267
Thompson [487] An American blowback SMG. The Thompson takes a double row, box magazine designed to be inserted from below.

The Thompson is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $0 $500 $509 96,093
MP 40 [488] Made in Germany, the MP40 is an open bolt, blowback operated Submachine Gun. Has a slow rate of fire and little recoil, and is useful for single shots rather than bursts.

The MP 40 is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $0 $500 $7,933 58,932
Luger [489] Also known as the "Parabellum Pistole". This name comes from the Latin phrase "Si vis pacem, para bellum"--"if you want peace, prepare for war." A semi-automatic 9mm handgun.

The Luger is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $500 $334 264,876
Blunderbuss [490] The Blunderbuss is a muzzle loading, single shot, short barrelled firearm. It is an early form of shotgun adapted to be used for personal and military defense.

The Blunderbuss is a Shotgun type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $500 $21,749 59,905
Zombie Brain [491] A zombie brain, carefully dissected from the head of a zombie. Collectible $0 $0 $0 4,388
Human Head [492] A trophy for some zombies. A tasty snack for others. Collectible $0 $0 $0 2,614
Medal of Honor [493] Given to the valiant troops who lead their flag to victory in the World War competition. Collectible $0 $0 $0 4,659
Citroen Saxo [494] The Saxo is quick off the line, but it struggles with top speed due to a small 1400cc engine. Car $0 $8,000 $41,148 61,640
Classic Mini [495] This British classic is a retro icon with sharp handling. With only small 8" discs on the front and drums on the back its braking isn't excellent. Car $9,500 $7,500 $8,950 127,008
Fiat Punto [496] The Fiat performs very well in the corners, but with only 80bhp it lacks top end speed. Car $0 $8,000 $477,667 35,133
Nissan Micra [497] Unfortunately most of these are ex-driving school cars which have been curbed one too many times resulting in bad handling. Its braking, however, is brilliant. Car $0 $7,500 $23,397 51,304
Peugeot 106 [498] This French hot hatch is very popular in its class due to its rapid acceleration. Sadly, its brakes are poor, but they do stop the car. Eventually. Car $8,000 $6,500 $7,418 114,344
Renault Clio [499] This rapid Renault has an astounding top speed thanks to a 16-valve engine, but with little torque it fails to get there in a hurry. Car $11,000 $8,000 $10,184 69,932
Vauxhall Corsa [500] This car's brakes are its major asset. Unfortunately, with its poor top speed, they're rarely used. Car $9,000 $7,000 $9,134 51,540
Volvo 850 [501] This battleship can easily exceed 100 mph where others in its class will struggle. Being two tonnes however requires better brakes than those supplied. Car $0 $5,500 $497,206 81,595
Alfa Romeo 156 [502] The Alfa has copious amounts of torque giving it ferocious acceleration off the line. Stopping on the other hand is an issue; with Alfa reliability affecting everything...including the all important brakes. Car $14,000 $9,000 $14,667 111,364
BMW X5 [503] This drug dealer special has monstrous brakes to stop in time for those red lights (when not running from the police), yet its handling is as sharp as a tug boat on tarmac. On the plus side its 20 inch alloys do help it to overcome any potholes. Car $35,000 $20,000 $33,809 44,403
Seat Leon Cupra [504] This turbo charged European hatchback is lightning quick off the line, however it has poor aerodynamic properties hindering its top end speed. Car $17,500 $11,000 $11,004 127,655
Vauxhall Astra GSI [505] This turbocharged car will not disappoint with its top speed. Its acceleration off the line is delayed by dreaded "torque steer" as all the power is put through the front wheels. Car $0 $8,500 $39,166 64,438
Volkswagen Golf GTI [506] The king of hot hatches cannot be faulted with its superb handling, it's a shame it lacks speed at the top end. Car $12,500 $7,300 $14,872 52,001
Audi S3 [507] This car is sublime off the line due to its high tech Quattro system; it does however have an electronically limited top speed of 155 mph from the factory. Car $0 $0 $0 18
Ford Focus RS [508] This fast Ford is worshiped by all boy racers, as it should be with its aggressive looks and a 300 bhp, 2.5 litre turbocharged engine delivering a magnificent sound as it rapidly accelerates It is however unnervingly twitchy under braking. Car $55,000 $30,000 $53,996 38,920
Honda S2000 [509] This Honda is a well balanced two seat roadster, stable and poised under braking. However it does have a tail happy tendency that can catch out even the most experienced drivers. Car $40,000 $21,000 $27,473 32,825
Mini Cooper S [510] This German-revised British classic has retained the original car's playful and remarkable handling, with some clever tweaking from British tuning company John Cooper. As this car is supercharged, all the power is delivered at the low end of the revs, allowing great torque but affecting its top speed. Car $0 $27,000 $0 19,331
Sierra Cosworth [511] This king of the rally world is still a pin-up for most boy racers. It will out-manoeuvre most cars in its class with its sheer mechanical grip and no electronic trickery. The low horsepower, however, does affect this car's acceleration to top speed. Car $0 $22,000 $32,644,441 28,763
Lotus Exige [512] This British giant-killer will out-handle all in its class with ease, but shortly after will be swallowed up on the straights due to its miniscule 1.8 litre engine. Car $40,000 $19,000 $19,546 180,098
Mitsubishi Evo X [513] This rally pro is more suited to off-road and rally tracks with its handling on tarmac seemingly compromised. It does however hurl itself off the line with an incredibly impressive 0-60 time of 4.5 seconds, which would place it mid-field in class A. Car $0 $27,000 $118,946 22,434
Porsche 911 GT3 [514] This lightweight racer is stunning off the line and cannot be faulted on a track with its perfect set-up. The only fault would be the top end speed which is hindered by the sheer down-force the Porsche produces. Car $95,000 $60,000 $87,333 33,099
Subaru Impreza STI [515] This rally legend is more at home on the loose stuff compared to a track, making under-steer a major issue when on tarmac. Its pure grunt off the line compensates for this though, twinned with a gorgeous thundering burble from the boxer engine. Car $55,000 $28,000 $49,666 41,603
TVR Sagaris [516] This spitfire of the car world has raw mechanical grip round a track giving it balance and precision. Providing actual brakes that work would have been a nice touch, though. Car $0 $32,000 $0 20,415
Aston Martin One-77 [517] This prestigious thoroughbred impresses not only the lords and ladies of the manor but petrol-heads as well. Its 700bhp V12 engine propels this Aston to a staggering 220 mph. Handling such power takes training and practice, and for this reason most will find it twitchy round corners, especially powering out of the corner exit. Car $0 $937,500 $1,195,110 27,160
Audi R8 [518] This precision all-rounder is the most practical car in its range, and is so easy to handle it will make any driver seem like a seasoned F1 professional. It's a shame it lacks any real top end speed. Car $0 $125,000 $163,498 28,038
Bugatti Veyron [519] This Goliath is the pinnacle of engineering perfection, the quad-turbocharged W16 propels this rocket 0-60 in 2.5 seconds and all the way on to 253mph! Although braking is immense with the huge air brake on the rear, judging distance to brake is somewhat warped by the incomprehensible speeds. Handling is much to be desired also with this car clocking mid table lap times for its class around a track regardless of its fighter jet straight line capabilities. Car $0 $0 $0 33
Ferrari 458 [520] This Italian Stallion is the best handling Ferrari to date. This is no surprise as the great Michael Schumacher worked closely with the development team to fine-tune this prancing horse. You would expect a bit more top end speed compared to others in its class; however, 202 mph shouldn't disappoint too many. Car $0 $1,075,000 $1,824,167 29,378
Lamborghini Gallardo [521] This show-boater is a hard beast to tame round the corners, but show it a straight line and all hell breaks loose going 0-60 in just 3.4 seconds. You need to be a good matador to tame this wild bull. Car $0 $812,500 $1,000,000 23,092
Lexus LFA [522] This newcomer is the hard work of normally quite tame Lexus. It is a triumph of technology married to brute force, but its weight causes great inertia under braking even with its incredible brakes. Top speeds are post 200 mph and it will out-drag most of its class rivals, including its Japanese friend the GT-R. Car $0 $875,000 $1,417,448 32,783
Mercedes SLR [523] This formula one-inspired poster pin-up boasts a maximum speed of 208 mph. Some find handling somewhat difficult, however, with all 617 horses screaming to be released at once. Car $0 $1,187,500 $1,145,040 24,678
Nissan GT-R [524] This Nissan is the ultimate toy for any boy, sporting every gadget you could dream of. It is second in its class at accelerating, with 0-60 coming up in just 3.3 seconds, but unlike competitors like the Veyron it does not compromise in the other areas. Sadly though, it does not break the 200 mph barrier, with factory spec peaking at a measly 192 mph. Car $0 $87,500 $227,991 28,524
Mr Torn Crown '10 [525] Awarded to Madmiketyson [979994] for winning the Mr Torn City awards 2010! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Ms Torn Crown '10 [526] Awarded to Iamone [1296111] for winning the Miss Torn City awards 2010! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Bag of Candy Kisses [527] Small tear shaped chocolate candies. Provides a moderate happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 50 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $20 $37,955 2,174,075
Bag of Tootsie Rolls [528] A pack of individually wrapped chewy candies with an assortment of flavours. Provides a moderate happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 75 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $25 $59,331 1,853,021
Bag of Chocolate Truffles [529] With a chocolate ganache center coated in chocolate, nothing tastes better. Provides a large happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 100 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $75 $108,793 1,550,010
Can of Munster [530] Guaranteed to turn your insides a monstrous shade of green, Munster is the only energy drink certified as a propellant by the Torn City Aviation Authority.

Effect: Increases energy by 20 and booster cooldown by 2 hours.
Energy Drink $0 $0 $1,840,652 701,727
Bottle of Pumpkin Brew [531] Brewed with the finest pumpkins, the perfect alcoholic drink for Halloween. Provides a moderate nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 2 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $90,513 1,087,158
Can of Red Cow [532] Bolstered by cow placenta extract, Red Cow's special blend of herbs and hormones is so toxic you'll need four stomachs just to digest it.

Effect: Increases energy by 25 and booster cooldown by 2 hours.
Energy Drink $0 $0 $2,380,725 726,707
Can of Taurine Elite [533] Taurine Elite is a high-strength energy drink targeted toward those who need 48 hours in every day and have scant regard for their physical well-being, hence its popular slogan, "You'll really feel your kidneys!"

Effect: Increases energy by 30 and booster cooldown by 2 hours.
Energy Drink $0 $0 $3,768,478 538,530
Witch's Cauldron [534] A black plastic ornamental cauldron, ideal for Halloween decorations. Other $0 $10 $0 12,531
Electronic Pumpkin [535] Designed for people who have no spare time: just pop in the batteries and it's ready to go. Other $0 $15 $15,237 153,888
Jack O'Lantern Lamp [536] This beautifully crafted lamp will sit nicely on your table, but at night turn it on to see it in its full spooky glory. Other $0 $35 $0 206,641
Spooky Paper Weight [537] This glass paperweight has an ancient model castle inside. If you look closely you can almost see some eyes looking out of the front door. Other $0 $35 $0 142,112
Medieval Helmet [538] Found in William the Bald's Castle this armor is more for show than battle due to the ductile and malleable material it is made of. Defensive $0 $0 $0 22,089
Blood Spattered Sickle [539] A traditional Halloween weapon, second hand as these are not made anymore. Complete with authentic blood stains.

The Blood Spattered Sickle is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 11,530
Cauldron [540] Forged from iron ore, this handmade black cauldron is ideal to hang over an open fire and cook food in. According to legend, witches used cauldrons for concocting their potions. Other $0 $500 $0 23,780
Bottle of Stinky Swamp Punch [541] This drink smells like a real swamp: you will need nerves of steel to down this puppy. Provides a very large nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 4 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $386,702 461,985
Bottle of Wicked Witch [542] Forget the tequila with the worm ... try the cider with the frog leg floaters! Provides a large nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 3 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $227,680 478,322
Deputy Star [543] Double struck solid copper with a gold antique finish. This item is only earned through merit and is given to those with the resolve to solve the most difficult cases. Pinned to your chest, the deputy star should be worn with the utmost pride. It is a recognisable symbol of peace and justice throughout Torn. Collectible $0 $1,500 $36,999,000 10,568
Windproof Lighter [544] With a lifetime guarantee, this windproof lighter is a must have for the outdoor type. It features our patented flint-wheel ignition and extra thick side walls to take those hard knocks. This lighter is also refillable with butane gas and gives off a beautiful blue flame.

Effect: Improves success rate for the Arson crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $2,956,497 47,224
Dual TMPs [545] Dual TMP sub machine guns. With the smallest magazines, you'll be reloading often. Although it'd be surprising if you couldn't kill them within the first round.

The Dual TMPs is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 10
Dual Bushmasters [546] Dual Bushmaster Carbon 15 Type 21s sub machine guns. Certainly the most accurate in the range: unleash the awesome fire-power while actually hitting the targets you're aiming at.

The Dual Bushmasters is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 10
Dual MP5s [547] Accurate and deadly dual MP5-Navy sub machine guns. Simply hold the triggers and let 'em have it!

The Dual MP5s is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 10
Dual P90s [548] Dual P90 sub machine guns. The P90s easily have the biggest magazine when compared to the other dual SMG's--you'll last several rounds without having to reload.

The Dual P90s is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 10
Dual Uzis [549] Dual 9mm Uzi sub machine guns. The least accurate, but most damaging SMG in the range. Even if you don't hit them, they won't be popping their head up again after that onslaught of firepower.

The Dual Uzis is a SMG type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 10
Bottle of Kandy Kane [550] This bottled drink is said to be a Santa favourite. Gives your nerve the boost it needs. Provides a moderate nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 2 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $91,499 967,501
Bottle of Minty Mayhem [551] A bottle of this can create mayhem with your nerve. Boosting your nerve enough to take the edge off. Provides a large nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 3 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $224,560 771,135
Bottle of Mistletoe Madness [552] One bottle of this is all it takes sometimes. Boost your nerve to the right level. Provides a very large nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 4 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $380,788 773,707
Can of Santa Shooters [553] Fizzy, festive, and fatal to those with heart conditions, Santa Shooters will have you rockin' around the Christmas tree until your tendons snap.

Effect: Increases energy by 20 and booster cooldown by 2 hours.
Energy Drink $0 $0 $1,846,572 634,920
Can of Rockstar Rudolph [554] Ever wonder why Rudolph's nose glows red? He's addicted to cocaine, which is coincidentally the primary ingredient in Rockstar Rudolph alongside ground-up Caribou pelvis.

Effect: Increases energy by 25 and booster cooldown by 2 hours.
Energy Drink $0 $0 $2,383,182 607,693
Can of X-MASS [555] The favored tipple of big, bulking bodybuilders, X-MASS's side effects include a deepened voice, swollen testicles, and beard growth—and that's just the women!

Effect: Increases energy by 30 and booster cooldown by 2 hours.
Energy Drink $0 $0 $3,778,734 597,885
Bag of Reindeer Droppings [556] That's right, by all appearances it's a bag of Reindeer droppings. Don't let the looks deceive you, these chocolate covered raisins will melt in your mouth and boost your happiness! Provides a large happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 100 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $0 $109,866 748,967
Advent Calendar [557] Every day brings us one step closer to Christmas. Peeling back the paper door on the calendar helps the countdown seem real and gives a bit of chocolate for the day. Other $0 $15 $17,529 131,339
Santa's Snot [558] Warm and gooey, though not much of a treat, at least you know Christmas will happen this year. What a souvenir to remember it by. Other $0 $0 $23,774 77,247
Polar Bear Toy [559] Fluffy and cute, this plushie is sure to keep you warm in winter. Other $0 $100 $53,597 240,093
Fruitcake [560] Everyone gets one of these, and no one wants it. Hard and stale. Material $30 $4 $228 18,707,294
Book of Carols [561] A book filled with all the Christmas favourites. Just opening it makes you a bit more knowledgeable. Lowers current education time by a small amount.

Effect: Reduces education course duration by 6 hours and increases booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $13,979,997 19,505
Sweater [562] Never attractive, but always seems to be under the tree on Christmas morning. Hopefully it at least protects you from the cold. Clothing $0 $25 $30 814,078
Gift Card [563] The perfect gift for when you just don't know what to get someone. Takes a bit of time and stress off the shopping list. Lowers current bank investment time by a small amount.

Effect: Reduces bank investment duration by 6 hours and increases booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $2,824,383 28,547
Glasses [564] A pair of high quality designer spectacles. Soft adjustable nose pads and plastic arm tips help to create a comfortable fit. These frames also make very cool sunglasses for men and women.

Effect: Improves Search for cash crime exp & skill gains by 5%.
Enhancer $0 $0 $6,142 170,502
High-Speed Drive [565] This state-of-the-art DVD drive can burn DVDs faster than any other device on the market. Perfect for creating large volumes of high quality backups.

Effect: Improves Bootlegging crime exp & skill gains by 5% and copying speed by 100%.
Enhancer $0 $0 $95,638 119,075
Mountain Bike [566] The Mountain Bike is a high spec bicycle created for off-road cycling. This high-performance bike has an aluminium dual suspension frame, alloy linear pull brakes and 24 speed gears. Perfect for quick shopping runs in the city.

Effect: Improves Shoplifting crime exp & skill gains by 5%.
Enhancer $0 $0 $116,125 109,410
Cut-Throat Razor [567] The Cut-Throat Razor is a razor with a blade that can fold into its handle. Once widely used, it has since been replaced by modern safety razors. However it is still a popular tool with pickpockets who use it to open victim's pockets and cut bag straps unnoticed.

Effect: Improves Pickpocketing crime exp & skill gains by 5%.
Enhancer $0 $0 $8,318 165,730
Jemmy [568] The Jemmy is a tool used for forcing entry. It is smaller and lighter than an ordinary crowbar making it easy to conceal. It can pop windows and doors with the minimum of effort.

Effect: Improves success rate for the Larceny crime.
Tool $0 $0 $1,272 256,898
Balaclava [569] The Balaclava is a warm hat that covers the whole head. It has two eye holes for improved vision and a convenient mouth hole for barking orders at bank and convenience store staff.

Effect: Improves success rate for the Armed Robbery crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $618,588 73,179
Advanced Driving Manual [570] The Advanced Driving Manual is a special textbook used in training the FBI, MI5 and other government security departments. It details tried and tested methods for evading pursuers on public roads. This book is not available to the public.

Effect: Improves success rate for the Transporting Drugs crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $62,424 92,899
Ergonomic Keyboard [571] This healthier alternative for standard keyboards greatly increases typing speed and lets you work for longer, more comfortably. It has been expertly crafted to allow you to work in a more natural position.

Effect: Improves success rate for the Planting Computer Viruses crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $797,897 93,983
Tracking Device [572] The Tracking Device is a kit that comprises a discreet, magnetic tracker and handheld GPS mapping system. It can track anyone or anything anywhere in the world to within 1 meter.

Effect: Improves success rate for the Assassination crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $67,992 99,324
Screwdriver [573] A strong flat-head screwdriver. With corrosion resistant, high grade chrome plated steel bars, the chance of tip breakage while shoving it in to a car ignition is extremely low.

Effect: Improves success rate for the Grand Theft Auto crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $347,766 73,296
Fanny Pack [574] Problem solved! The bum bag is both comfortable and very fashionable to wear, while also keeping your personal belongings 100% secure as they are kept as close to you as possible. Perfect for storing and retrieving things on the fly!

Effect: Improves success rate for the Robbing The Pawn Shop crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $77,463 93,245
Tumble Dryer [575] A condenser tumble dryer with a 10 kg capacity load. Use to dry clothes, or to make money, casino chips and credit cards look old and used - more realistic!

Effect: Improves success rate for the Counterfeiting crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $93,749 94,801
Chloroform [576] Made by creating a chain reaction involving highly reactive chemicals, this strong smelling substance is sure to keep your kidnap victims quiet while you negotiate ransoms.

Effect: Improves success rate for the Kidnapping crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $59,809 105,042
Heavy Duty Padlock [577] This weatherproof high security padlock is great for securing the back of big rigs to prevent the cargo from being stolen, the cops won't even bother with it if they stop you!

Effect: Improves success rate for the Arms Trafficking crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $154,163 73,205
Duct Tape [578] Bonds on rough and uneven surfaces with a strong bite, is 100% waterproof, has strong reinforced backing, a rugged all-weather shell, double-thick adhesive and is perfect for affixing anything to anything!

Effect: Improves Card Skimming crime exp & skill gains by 5%.
Enhancer $0 $0 $215,934 95,580
Wireless Dongle [579] Access the internet nearly anywhere! A very useful tool for getting close to unsecure networks and bank mainframes.

Effect: Improves success rate for the Hacking crime.
Enhancer $0 $0 $146,884 96,145
Horse's Head [580] Go 'Godfather' on them... Place this horse's head in a parcel to give the recipient an awful surprise.

Effect: Can be hidden inside a parcel to zero someone's energy, nerve and happiness upon opening.
Special $0 $0 $813,592 34,848
Book [581] Make someone feel schooled. Punish them severely by throwing the book at them.

Effect: Opponent becomes undignified, reducing their respectability.

The Book is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $20 $0 9,945
Tin Foil Hat [582] Designed for the paranoid of mind, this hat keeps out all of those unwanted radio signals and mind reading devices that stalk your every move. Clothing $0 $0 $0 49
Brown Easter Egg [583] Kids today don't know the meaning of hard work. I do. My father beat it into me when I was a child. And I was grateful for it. 28 hours a day, 9 days a week he slaved away down at the hard labor factory. Did he ever complain? I never heard it. And I won't hear it from you. My old man had the grindset mentality, and I'll teach it to you, too. He never took time off. He never did bare minimum mondays. He even asked his boss to reduce his wage so he could truly feel he earned it. Anyway, enough chatter. Let's get to work.

Effect: Permanently increases all working stats by 1% and booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $0 7,520
Orange Easter Egg [584] Booster $0 $0 $0 0
Pink Easter Egg [585] Booster $0 $0 $0 0
Jawbreaker [586] This colossal 3 inch jawstopper has 15 different flavoured layers of tooth rotting goodness. Provides a large happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 150 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $55 $255,265 119,234
Bag of Sherbet [587] This bag of sherbet provides you with that mouth tingling fizz that you've always been waiting for. Provides a large happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 150 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $45 $255,579 112,096
Goodie Bag [588] An exquisite mix of Torn's hidden desires. Ranging from delicious bags of candy to revitalizing cans of energy drinks.

Effect: Provides an assortment of 30 items made up of Candy, Alcohol and Energy Drinks when opened.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $33,461,875 16,138
Undefined [589] Unused $0 $500 $0 0
Undefined 2 [590] Unused $0 $700 $0 0
Undefined 3 [591] Unused $0 $600 $0 0
Undefined 4 [592] Unused $0 $0 $0 0
Mr Torn Crown '11 [593] Awarded to Driving [1497275] for winning the Mr Torn City awards 2011! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Ms Torn Crown '11 [594] Awarded to Kimmy [995567] for winning the Miss Torn City awards 2011! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Pile of Vomit [595] A huge pile of vomit created by all the scared residents of Torn during Halloween. Other $0 $0 $0 8,171
Rusty Dog Tag [596] A rusty dog tag from a long gone citizen of Torn. Not as good as a normal tag... obviously. Collectible $0 $5 $0 2,229
Gold Nugget [597] A gold nugget, the size of a golf ball. Collectible $0 $5,000 $0 5,205
Witch's Hat [598] A weird looking witch hat found in Halloween Town. Clothing $0 $75 $0 1,395
Golden Broomstick [599] A broom used to smuggle gold out of Halloween Town.

The Golden Broomstick is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 3,417
Devil's Pitchfork [600] A three pronged fork of sorcery.

The Devil's Pitchfork is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 1,541
Christmas Lights [601] Christmas tree lights with red, green and blue sparkling LEDs. Other $0 $60 $8,372 42,405
Gingerbread Man [602] A soft gingerbread cookie, carefully shaped in to a figure. Other $0 $0 $0 19,319
Golden Wreath [603] Only a true carnival gamer will walk away with this number one prize. Other $0 $300 $65,423 37,220
Pair of Ice Skates [604] Elegantly glide your way over frozen lakes with these professional grade ice skates.

The Pair of Ice Skates is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $299 45,158
Diamond Icicle [605] This sharp diamond encrusted icicle will really touch the heart of your worst enemy.

The Diamond Icicle is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $140,699 17,227
Santa Boots [606] A pair of Santa's boots from Christmas Town. Clothing $0 $80 $0 16,876
Santa Gloves [607] A pair of Santa's gloves from Christmas Town. Clothing $0 $30 $0 16,987
Santa Hat [608] Santa's soft warm hat, found in Christmas Town. Clothing $0 $60 $0 13,444
Santa Jacket [609] Santa's cozy jacket, found in Christmas Town. Clothing $0 $120 $0 15,383
Santa Trousers [610] Santa's red trousers, found in Christmas Town. Clothing $0 $70 $250,000 18,374
Snowball [611] A snowball carefully rounded and crunched up as tight as possible for maximum effect. A sensible owner would keep it in the freezer.

Effect: Opponent becomes Christmassy, increasing their goodwill.

The Snowball is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $0 $10,716 820,118
Tavor TAR-21 [612] The Tavor TAR-21 is a gas operated, selective fire, magazine fed assault rifle of bullpup configuration.

The Tavor TAR-21 is a Rifle type of weapon.
Primary $495,000 $350,000 $353,417 69,729
Harpoon [613] Originally used to catch fish and large marine mammals. When fired the spear can penetrate through most armor worn by humans.

The Harpoon is a Piercing type of weapon.
Secondary $300,000 $200,000 $199,164 32,831
Diamond Bladed Knife [614] A saw blade which has diamonds fixed on the blade's base to cut hard or abrasive materials. This weapon is so sharp it will literally cut through anything.

The Diamond Bladed Knife is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $950,000 $800,000 $912,432 157,893
Naval Cutlass [615] The 1860 Naval cutlass has a 27" sharpened steel blade. It can slice any enemy open like butter!

The Naval Cutlass is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $50,000,000 $40,000,000 $50,000,000 3,492
Trout [616] This 22 inch prize trout will make a fantastic feast. Alternatively you could express your disappointment or disgust with someone by bludgeoning them with it.

The Trout is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $10,000 $7,500 $15,491 1,074,723
Banana Orchid [617] The national flower of the Cayman Islands, the Wild Banana Orchid is one of many species on the islands but certainly the most unique and recognizable. Flower $4,000 $3,000 $10,828 3,661,719
Stingray Plushie [618] A cuddly stingray plushie, one of the Cayman Islands' most famous inhabitants. Plushie $400 $300 $7,991 5,687,263
Steel Drum [619] 55 gallons of musical steel to calypso the night away - musical talent not included! Other $1,500 $1,000 $2,773 196,523
Nodding Turtle [620] Duuuuuude, this tiny nodding turtle will agree with everything you say. Other $750 $500 $3,927 1,417,323
Snorkel [621] A pair of reef exploring goggles with snorkel. Make sure you're properly equipped before heading out to the ocean! Clothing $20,000 $15,000 $14,647 123,473
Flippers [622] A pair of diving flippers more than suitable for snorkelling. If you're looking for underwater speed, you've got it! Clothing $10,000 $7,500 $7,292 135,594
Speedo [623] Although not so visually appealing, it's important to be streamlined when snorkelling. Clothing $6,000 $4,000 $4,646 537,114
Bikini [624] The most popular female beachwear around the globe. Perfect for snorkelling, and perhaps in some cases, cross dressing. Clothing $8,000 $6,000 $5,596 725,233
Wetsuit [625] For more advanced snorkellers, this suit will provide buoyancy in water and keep the cold out. Clothing $30,000 $20,000 $19,869 104,896
Diving Gloves [626] These thick diving gloves will protect your hands from harsh rocks and cold water. Clothing $5,000 $3,000 $2,974 229,358
Dog Poop [627] Fresh dog poop in a paper bag, the apparatus of a traditional practical joke. Place on your victim's doorstep and set the bag alight! Watch them fly out of their home to try to stomp the flames out. Perfect for April Fools' day.

Effect: Decreases the target's happiness by 20% if successfully used on their property.
Special $0 $0 $790,254 92,958
Stink Bombs [628] A pack of disgustingly smelly stink bombs. Break these little glass vials and put them through your victim's letter box to really spoil their day. A great prank for April Fools'.

Effect: Decreases occupant's happiness by 20% if successfully used on their property.
Special $0 $0 $829,592 84,284
Toilet Paper [629] This budget toilet roll paper serves little use other than spoiling someone's home and garden. Throw the rolls over your victim's property to give them an unpleasant morning surprise. Perfect for April Fools' day.

Effect: Decreases occupant's happiness by 20% if successfully used on their property.
Special $0 $0 $932,334 85,772
Mr Torn Crown '12 [630] Awarded to scony [429271] for winning the Mr Torn City awards 2012! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Ms Torn Crown '12 [631] Awarded to JoNeSyGaLL [1263544] for winning the Miss Torn City awards 2012! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Petrified Humerus [632] The perfect weapon for any enemy you have a bone to pick with.

The Petrified Humerus is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 3,560
Latex Gloves [633] Protect your iron fists from injuries with a pair of latex gloves.

Effect: Improves Disposal crime exp & skill gains by 5%.
Enhancer $0 $0 $380,158 37,774
Bag of Bloody Eyeballs [634] Eye Candy Halloween style. Provides a moderate happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 75 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $5 $61,792 355,687
Straitjacket [635] If the jacket fits, wear it. It will only restrain your body; your mind is free to go! Clothing $0 $200 $0 3,215
Cinnamon Decoration [636] A home-made Christmas tree decoration, giving off a lovely whiff of cinnamon. Other $0 $15 $61,989 20,040
Christmas Express [637] All aboard! Other $0 $35 $0 16,536
Bottle of Christmas Cocktail [638] Torn's liquefied way of wishing you a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year. Provides a large nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 3 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $243,167 410,603
Golden Candy Cane [639] A solid gold Candy Cane, not suited for consumption. Other $0 $35,000 $0 16,692
Kevlar Gloves [640] These gloves can protect you from cuts and extreme temperatures, providing light-weight dexterity and comfort. Defensive $400,000 $320,000 $319,894 80,253
WWII Helmet [641] The Stahlhelm ("steel helmet"), with its distinctive "coal scuttle" shape, was an instantly-recognizable military icon and became a common element of military propaganda as well as protecting many skulls from shrapnel. Defensive $89,500 $71,000 $75,831 116,632
Motorcycle Helmet [642] What would be more embarrassing than suffering a crash because you got a bug in your eye? And if you get mugged, the helmet can protect you from blunt instruments and pepper spray.

Effect: Immunity to Pepper Spray and Sand.
Defensive $0 $0 $38,116,667 21,052
Construction Helmet [643] Protects you from tools and other object dropped by fellow-workers above you, and from muggers trying to crack your skull. Also gives you license to whistle at likely-looking passers-by. Defensive $14,000 $11,500 $11,131 205,643
Welding Helmet [644] Designed to protect your eyes, head, and neck from flash burn while welding, this sturdy helmet can also deflect attacks from blunt instruments and pepper spray.

Effect: Immunity to Flash Grenades, Pepper Spray, and Sand.
Defensive $0 $0 $0 592
Safety Boots [645] These steel-toed boots protect your feet from heavy, sharp, or hot objects; provide extra power for your kick; and gain you respect among the street-wise. Defensive $77,000 $58,000 $57,422 200,667
Hiking Boots [646] These boots will support you along difficult trails and up rocky scrambles. They also provide moderate protection against both gunfire and blade attacks. Defensive $6,700 $4,200 $4,141 96,810
Leather Helmet [647] This helmet keeps the sun out of your eyes, the dust off your neck, and your brains more or less in place if someone swats you with a baseball bat. Defensive $1,250 $900 $735 375,956
Leather Pants [648] These pants can deflect some knife thrusts, and reduce injuries from motorcycle accidents or rug burn. Defensive $1,100 $850 $874 386,868
Leather Boots [649] These boots make a style and a safety statement at the same time, offering both eye appeal and modest protection against attacks. Defensive $900 $720 $602 329,685
Leather Gloves [650] These gloves protect your hands from extremes of heat and cold, and from some weapons; however, it sure is hard to pick up a coin while wearing them! Defensive $750 $600 $447 1,005,136
Combat Helmet [651] This helmet cradles the wearer's head and provides protection against both concussion and shrapnel. You can also fill it with water and boil eggs for your supper. Defensive $3,100,000 $2,600,000 $3,136,375 97,005
Combat Pants [652] These pants are camouflaged, so you may have trouble finding them in your closet. However, once on they provide added protection against cuts and abrasions and have many handy pockets. Defensive $2,950,000 $2,450,000 $2,985,154 121,557
Combat Boots [653] These boots will keep you well-attached to the surface of the Earth. Their weight is largely made up of protective layers in the sole and uppers to keep your feet safer even when you waltz through a minefield. Defensive $2,400,000 $1,920,000 $2,446,475 107,911
Combat Gloves [654] These reinforced gauntlets keep your hands safe in close-combat situations, although they do make it harder to text on your cell phone. Defensive $2,100,000 $1,870,000 $1,943,445 116,494
Riot Helmet [655] This helmet can protect you against thrown bricks, fire splash from incendiaries, and flowers tossed your way by pacifists.

Effect: Immunity to Pepper Spray and Sand.
Defensive $0 $0 $158,650,000 2,383
Riot Body [656] Although this armor for your torso will slow down your dance-floor moves, you will thank it when it deflects a knife blade or a platter of shrapnel from an explosion. Defensive $0 $0 $156,632,666 2,296
Riot Pants [657] No matter which side of the riot you're on, you'll have more fun if you don't have to worry about skinned knees or Molotov-cocktail burns. Defensive $0 $0 $96,450,001 2,188
Riot Boots [658] These boots will protect you from puncture wounds, slashes, acid, heat, and the blood of the people you stomp. Defensive $0 $0 $117,633,333 2,083
Riot Gloves [659] When you wear these gloves you can't do fine-motor stuff like picking up a dime. But you can compel other people to do that stuff for you. Defensive $0 $0 $93,853,648 2,069
Dune Helmet [660] With this helmet you can deflect objects that might otherwise dent your skull, while making yourself a tougher target for your enemy to find. Defensive $0 $0 $100,500,003 1,793
Dune Vest [661] About the only challenge this body armor does not help protect you from is an itchy trickle of sand down the small of your back. Defensive $0 $0 $106,000,001 2,102
Dune Pants [662] Camouflaged and reinforced pants; way cool although not particularly useful for urban combat. Defensive $0 $0 $107,465,999 1,861
Dune Boots [663] These boots will help keep your feet cool, dry, dirt-free, and safe from impact wounds. Defensive $0 $0 $156,055,631 1,685
Dune Gloves [664] In addition to the protection they offer, these gloves have gecko-like grips on the pads of the fingers to help you pick up small items without putting your hand at risk. Defensive $0 $0 $106,144,723 1,708
Assault Helmet [665] You're going to attack the enemy, right? You're going head-first, right? Good idea to protect your head, don't you think? Defensive $0 $0 $113,000,000 2,216
Assault Body [666] The design of this body armor presumes you are going into harm's way. It helps make sure you can come back. Defensive $0 $0 $423,386,667 2,528
Assault Pants [667] These pants protect you against stabs, abrasions, and shrapnel, and have lots of useful pockets and pouches. Defensive $0 $0 $325,500,001 2,429
Assault Boots [668] Wear these boots to walk easily over booby-traps, razor wire, and the bodies of your opponents. Defensive $0 $0 $254,923,190 2,299
Assault Gloves [669] With these gauntlets on, you hardly need a weapon beside your hands. But take one anyhow, just in case. Defensive $0 $0 $157,000,001 2,337
Delta Gas Mask [670] Even the air you breathe is out to get you. This enhanced gas mask can filter out most of the toxins.

Effect: Immunity to Nerve Gas, Tear Gas, Pepper Spray, and Sand.
Defensive $0 $0 $0 338
Delta Body [671] This body armor combines protection and flexibility, so you can move and fight with confidence. Defensive $0 $0 $0 336
Delta Pants [672] Battle on any battlefield and wade through any risk in this high-life-expectancy pair of pants. Defensive $0 $0 $514,900,000 349
Delta Boots [673] With these boots you can do just about anything safely except maybe walk on water. Defensive $0 $0 $0 331
Delta Gloves [674] Damage resistant and flexible, these gloves let you deal a hand of cards in a fire-fight, if that's what you really need to do. Defensive $0 $0 $492,000,001 338
Marauder Face Mask [675] Kevlar layers and an impervious faceplate let this helmet protect your head in most combat conditions.

Effect: Immunity to Pepper Spray and Sand.
Defensive $0 $0 $1,200,500,000 186
Marauder Body [676] The Kevlar armor in this bodysuit protects against slashes, punctures, projectile fire, and accusations of poor taste. Defensive $0 $0 $0 150
Marauder Pants [677] Wear these pants whenever you need to slide down razor blades or roll in a pool of fire. Defensive $0 $0 $0 198
Marauder Boots [678] These boots resist shock, heat, slashes, and punctures, and add force when you have to kick your way out of a situation. Defensive $0 $0 $0 148
Marauder Gloves [679] Ultimate finger-protectors. Kevlar is light, flexible, and really tough. Defensive $0 $0 $401,000,838 180
EOD Helmet [680] Got a bomb? We have the bomb-disposal helmet for you. Rugged and impact-resistant, with a built-in mini-searchlight for helping you read the instructions you wrote on your hand.

Effect: Immunity to Concussion Grenades, Pepper Spray, and Sand.
Defensive $0 $0 $0 85
EOD Apron [681] When the bomb goes off, its impact goes everywhere. This apron shields your vital organs from blast compression and debris damage. Defensive $0 $0 $0 77
EOD Pants [682] These pants are not stylish, but they will help you walk away should that bomb go off while you are disarming it. Defensive $0 $0 $0 71
EOD Boots [683] Sturdy and stiff, with good treads for good grip, these boots can protect your feet from powerful blasts. Defensive $0 $0 $0 72
EOD Gloves [684] These must be the rarest armor elements in Torn. They'll keep your hands safe near a blast, but in order to actually deal with the bomb you're going to have to, you know, take them off and work with exposed hands. Defensive $0 $0 $6,100,000,001 75
Torn Bible [685] In addition to a fictitious tale about Torn's saviour, this book contains all the mysteries and information about the game, written in a language only translatable by bogie. This book is said to be 100% accurate, especially when thrown at close range. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Friendly Bot Guide [686] Caspeh can be seen lurking around the many channels of IRC, and this is your guide to all things bottish! Join and win with Caspeh during the famous Hamster give-aways or kick back and relax with some scrabble - the possibilities are endless with Caspeh's Friendly Bot Guide. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Egotistical Bear [687] A bear created to stroke Passie's ego, so she can continue to regard herself as central to the world which revolves around her. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Brewery Key [688] Grants the holder of the key unlimited access to the Guinness Brewery, and also the amazing alcohol tolerance of the Irish. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Signed Jersey [689] This jersey was worn in the annual Torn Sports Tournament by RatedR and has been signed by the whole staff team. Give this framed, signed jersey a nice place on your wall! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Mafia Kit [690] A unique kit handed down through generations of bloodshed and war to Two. Although the contents are still unknown, the kit is rumoured to contain a custom fitted bullet proof Armani suit and a matching hat. Owning this kit guarantees knowledge, power and wealth. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Octopus Toy [691] This octopus toy was modelled after Karty's pet octopus. This little 8 tentacled beast likes hiding in dark holes and is a sucker for the ladies! Be careful though, he's known to spray his ink over your face when you're least expecting it! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Bear Skin Rug [692] This collectible rug is perfect for snuggling, bear skin to bare skin. You can find one on Prodi's floor near the fireplace. PETA approved as well, of course! Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Tractor Toy [693] A toy it may seem to you, however it has run into cars, had bottles thrown at it and been crashed multiple times. Only a tractor owned by DaveO comes with this kind of history. Equipped with a mini seat for the shortest of passengers and a radio that keeps you awake after a 14 hour day. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Mr Torn Crown '13 [694] Awarded to bogie [148747] for winning the Mr Torn City awards 2013! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Ms Torn Crown '13 [695] Awarded to 2hOt4WoTuGoT [183048] for winning the Miss Torn City awards 2013! Collectible $0 $0 $0 1
Piece of Cake '13 [696] Covered in fine pink frosting and... It's cake! Collectible $0 $2 $0 2,270
Rotten Eggs [697] As fresh as the day they were laid, 7 months ago... Other $0 $1 $0 2,153
Peg Leg [698] Made from the finest shivered timbers. Rumoured to be 3 inches taller until the termites set in... Clothing $0 $15 $0 2,962
Antidote [699] This antidote has varying results in reversing the effects of the TCX-59 pathological agent. It will have a far higher chance of success against underdeveloped strains of the virus. Please see enclosed notes before use. Medical $0 $0 $0 1,109
Christmas Angel [700] A perfect addition to your Christmas tree. Other $0 $27 $35,994 37,603
Eggnog [701] Egg, sugar and cream... What else could possibly taste this good on a cold Christmassy evening. Sprinkle on some nutmeg for that very authentic flavour. Other $0 $4 $920,000 16,030
Sprig of Holly [702] A very merry berry addition to any Christmas. Other $0 $5 $79,208 39,124
Festive Socks [703] Knitted with love by Mrs Claus to keep your tootsies warm. Clothing $0 $17 $74 432,865
Respo Hoodie [704] Gifted exclusively to the BETA testers in the staff team and player committee who helped to test RESPO prior to launch. Clothing $0 $0 $0 75
Staff Haxx Button [705] For a long hard day at the office, when it seems like the help questions and forum reports will just not stop coming in. Never fear, the Staff Haxx Button you always wanted is here. May the force be with you! Collectible $0 $0 $0 54
Birthday Cake '14 [706] A birthday cake celebrating the 10th anniversary of Torn. What an epic decade! Here's to the next ten years. Collectible $0 $0 $0 2,909
Lump of Coal [707] It seems Santa has been very displeased with you. It looks like this is all you're getting for Christmas this year.

Effect: Required during the production of forgery projects.
Tool $0 $1 $5,395 302,832
Gold Rosette [708] This gold rosette is awarded to the 1st place winners of community events. Handed out on rare occasions, this prestigious award proves the recipient is better than everyone else at everything, full stop. Collectible $0 $0 $0 309
Silver Rosette [709] This silver rosette is awarded to the 2nd place winners of community events. Its sale is frowned upon by event administrators. Treasure it forever! Collectible $0 $0 $0 329
Bronze Rosette [710] This bronze rosette is awarded to the 3rd place winners of community events. Not quite as good as gold or silver, the recipient has still strongly excelled over the majority of other participants. Collectible $0 $0 $0 368
Coin : Factions [711] This limited edition gold coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. It features two crossed AK-47's, an iconic symbol of factional warfare. Although Factions have been the sole reason for hundreds of thousands of hospitalizations over the years, they sum up extensive teamwork and friendship. As of December 2014, there are thought to be over 2,000 of these small underground groups causing an estimated 10,000 hospitalizations per day. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Casino [712] This limited edition gold coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of the Lucky Shot Casino. The preferred entertainment establishment among the majority of citizens certainly bolsters Torn's reputation, and over the last decade gambling revenues have brought the city in-line with Las Vegas. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Education [713] This limited edition gold coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of the Torn community college. With over a hundred courses, the college can prepare citizens for almost any walk of life. Its popularity is unprecedented, which is unusual when compared with other metrics like crime rates and health service statistics. The wonders of Torn City's educational system really are profound and have helped make the city what it is today. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Hospital [714] This limited edition platinum coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of the Torn City Health Service. Their valiant doctors and nurses have helped hundreds of thousands of people recover from violent injuries over the last decade. As of December 2014, the TCHS has seen over 17,000,000 patients and cares for over a thousand at any one time. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Jail [715] This limited edition platinum coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of the TCPD and Torn penitentiary whose officers arrest and watch over almost 3,000 inmates on a daily basis. Despite sceptics believing that the unique 'instant-justice' short term sentences have little-to-no impact on hardened criminals, officials say managing crime rather than actually reducing it is the best thing for the city. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Travel Agency [716] This limited edition platinum coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. This coin in particular displays an airliner, celebrating Torn's bustling international airport. Although offering only a handful of destinations, it serves over 5,000 commuters daily and drastically increases tourism. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Companies [717] This limited edition silver coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. This coin in particular focuses on companies. Their employees and directors have helped bring commerce and tourism to the city despite its shortcomings. As of December 2014, there are over 2,500 registered companies generating $81 billion per week. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Stock Exchange [718] This limited edition silver coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. This coin is dedicated to the Torn City Stock Exchange. World renowned for the unique gifts its directors lavish upon investors, and the fortunes made. Its legitimacy has strongly recovered since the days of insider-trading and a conspiracy among a few investors to manipulate the markets - nicknamed Torngate. Today's stock exchange pumps billions into Torn's corporations, strengthening the city's once questionable economical state. Collectible $0 $0 $0 249
Coin : Church [719] This limited edition silver coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. In particular this coin celebrates the newly completed multi-faith church which hosts hundreds of wedding ceremonies on a monthly basis. Despite initial criticism from atheists, its construction has been blessed by thousands of citizens who go there at least once a month to pray, and have raised over $15,000,000,000 in charitable donations as of December 2014. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Auction House [720] This limited edition bronze coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. This particular coin features the city's Auction House, where citizens can enter and bid on exceedingly rare items and even unique properties. Over the years, its auctions have attracted celebrities and tycoons, and made headlines around the world. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Race Track [721] This limited edition bronze coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. This coin celebrates Torn's raceway and the hundreds of enthusiasts who participate daily. Although criticised for spurring on an increase of illegal street races on Torn's roads, it's certainly a unique fascination among citizens and has greatly boosted the city's automotive industry. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Museum [722] This limited edition bronze coin, given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. This particular coin is dedicated to the museum. Established in 2009, it quickly gained the international spotlight for its unique and diverse collections. Working with volunteers in the community, its assortment of rare artifacts, continental flower arrangements and even collectors' edition plushies expands daily. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Drugs [723] This limited edition copper coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. This particular coin features a cannabis leaf. Drugs, although illegal, are rarely policed and have had a large impact on the city and its residents. Research suggests that citizens on drugs are generally more successful individuals than those who avoid them, but some critics strongly disagree - condemning their usage and calling for tougher laws. Their usage rate is unprecedented, making Torn the drug capital of the USA. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Dump [724] This limited edition copper coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of Torn. This one in particular spotlights the Torn City Dump. Residents have ditched over 50 million items, but what's fascinating are the crowds of people who head over each day to look through them. Hundreds of people sorting through other people's waste will always be an iconic image of Torn. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Coin : Estate Agents [725] This limited edition copper coin given to just 250 citizens, commemorates ten years of the Torn City Estate Agents. Ranging from trailers to private islands, over 100 brand new properties are sold daily. A true sign of social status; climbing the property ladder is one of the biggest desires among citizens. A recent statistic claims that as of December 2014, there are over 10,000 private islands off the coast, with an average of three per day being artificially created to meet demand. Collectible $0 $0 $0 250
Scrooge's Top Hat [726] A once-elegant hat, now shiny with wear and a little out of fashion. Clothing $0 $0 $0 394
Scrooge's Topcoat [727] A long, solid, dark coat that buttons to the neck and seems to reject snow and rain with scorn. Clothing $0 $0 $0 409
Scrooge's Trousers [728] Tight woolen trousers, with pockets that resist giving up their contents, whether a coin or a handkerchief. Clothing $0 $0 $0 397
Scrooge's Boots [729] Boots as accustomed to kicking beggars out of the path as to treading the floors in Scrooge's counting house. Clothing $0 $0 $0 420
Scrooge's Gloves [730] Ivory gloves that once were white. No amount of cleaning can remove some suspicious stains from them. Clothing $0 $0 $0 399
Empty Blood Bag [731] An empty blood transfusion bag ready to be filled.

Effect: Produces a blood bag of your type. Reduces life by 30%. Increases medical cooldown by 1 hour.
Medical $15,000 $11,250 $15,319 12,326,929
Blood Bag : A+ [732] A blood bag filled with type A+ blood. Compatible with recipients in group A+ and AB+. Approximately 35.7% of people have this blood type, which is roughly equivalent to the proportion of your home's daily water use consumed by your toilet.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 120 mins and restores 30% life. Increases medical cooldown by 30 mins.
Medical $0 $0 $15,319 7,412,859
Blood Bag : A- [733] A blood bag filled with type A- blood. Compatible with recipients in groups A-, A+, AB- and AB+. About 6.3% of the world's population shares this blood type, closely matching the percentage of children worldwide who are engaged in child labor.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 120 mins and restores 30% life. Increases medical cooldown by 30 mins.
Medical $0 $0 $17,558 2,113,511
Blood Bag : B+ [734] A blood bag filled with type B+ blood. Compatible with recipients in group B+ and AB+. 8.5% of human beings contain this type of blood, and this directly correlates with the number of solitaire games that are said to be unwinnable.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 120 mins and restores 30% life. Increases medical cooldown by 30 mins.
Medical $0 $0 $17,318 2,272,115
Blood Bag : B- [735] A blood bag filled with type B- blood. Compatible with recipients in groups B-, B+, AB- and AB+. The percentage of people with B- blood is 1.5%, which is also the reported accuracy level for the statistics posted in these blood bag item descriptions.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 120 mins and restores 30% life. Increases medical cooldown by 30 mins.
Medical $0 $0 $24,199 873,162
Blood Bag : AB+ [736] A blood bag filled with type AB+ blood. Only compatible with recipients in group AB+. This rare type is found in just 3.4% of the population, a figure that closely matches the percentage of annual boat deaths caused by people pissing over the side.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 120 mins and restores 30% life. Increases medical cooldown by 30 mins.
Medical $0 $0 $19,979 1,091,749
Blood Bag : AB- [737] A blood bag filled with type AB- blood. Compatible with recipients in group AB- and AB+. This rare blood type is found in just 0.6% of the population, a percentage that also represents the estimated proportion of people who hold a world record

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 120 mins and restores 30% life. Increases medical cooldown by 30 mins.
Medical $0 $0 $33,600 527,136
Blood Bag : O+ [738] A blood bag filled with type O+ blood. Compatible with recipients in groups O+, A+, B+ and AB+. 37.4% of all blood is O+, and this is close to the percentage of pet owners who don't sleep in bed with their pets.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 120 mins and restores 30% life. Increases medical cooldown by 30 mins.
Medical $0 $0 $15,176 8,531,516
Blood Bag : O- [739] A blood bag filled with type O- blood. Compatible with recipients in any blood group. Only 6.6% of humans possess this blood type, which is about the same as the proportion of people who believe in witchcraft.

Effect: Reduces hospital time by 120 mins and restores 30% life. Increases medical cooldown by 30 mins.
Medical $0 $0 $23,884 2,464,793
Mr Torn Crown [740] Awarded to the annual winner of the Mr Torn competition. One of the very rarest and most sought after awards. Collectible $0 $0 $0 9
Ms Torn Crown [741] Awarded to the annual winner of the Ms Torn competition. One of the very rarest and most sought after awards. Collectible $0 $0 $0 9
Molotov Cocktail [742] Easy to make with an empty bottle, some gasoline, and a wick to plug the neck of the bottle. The trick is knowing how long to wait, after you light the wick, before throwing the Molotov cocktail at your target--you don't want it to bounce off, but to explode in a ball of fire.

Effect: Opponent receives Severe Burning damage over 3 turns.

The Molotov Cocktail is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $150 $45,614 612,197
Christmas Sweater '15 [743] Given to you by relatives you only see once per year, worn to boozy Christmas parties that result in disgraceful pictures plastered on social media. This Christmas sweater represents bad taste and good times had by all. Clothing $0 $0 $0 796
Book : Brawn Over Brains [744] Have you ever worn a tight-fitting vest top only to realise you look like Tom Hanks at the end of Philadelphia? Worry no more, as this helpful collection of workout tips will help to increase your strength and have you lifting heavy things like a big boy in no time. With over 5,000 revolutionary exercises, including "Deaf Guy Deadlifts", "Paralyser Pushups" and "Soil Yourself Squats", you'll become the man or manly-looking woman you always wanted to be.

Effect: Permanently increases Strength by 5% (up to 10,000,000 maximum gain) after 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,795
Book : Time Is In The Mind [745] Time is a metaphysical concept whose values change according to the unique perception of every individual human. A romantic moment with a partner can whizz by in mere moments, whereas listening to the dull stories told by an elderly relative can feel like a lifetime. Using a variety of psychological techniques Time Is In The Mind will help you react faster, enjoy moments longer, and punch people in the face before they even know what hit them. By utilising simple methods such as putting your wristwatch in the freezer, or making every gap between seconds on your wall clock twelve metres long, you will become a veritable master of chronology and come to possess almost superhuman reactive ability.

Effect: Permanently increases Speed by 5% (up to 10,000,000 maximum gain) after 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,630
Book : Keeping Your Face Handsome [746] Tom Cruise. Denzel Washington. Will Smith. What do they all have in common? No, they aren't all black, unless Tom Cruise is currently undergoing a reverse Michael Jackson. The answer of course is that they are all handsome movie stars. And do you know why? Because they never get punched in the face. Keeping Your Face Handsome is the book movie stars don't want you to see. With its unique insights into blocking, ducking and diving, you'll ensure your gorgeous mush continues to look lovely until the end of time.

"I wish I'd read this book before my face got spazzed"
- Sylvester Stallone.

Effect: Permanently increases Defense by 5% (up to 10,000,000 maximum gain) after 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,609
Book : A Job For Your Hands [747] Did you know that humans use less than 2% of their hands' potential? What if we could somehow unlock the other 204%? My name is Colette Branlette, and whilst on holiday in Peru I studied the mystical ways of the human phalanges for over three weeks. Our dextrous extremities offer so much more to the world than simply tapping on keyboards and touching ourselves. In my inspiring personal story I recant how I unlocked society's iron grip on my own two mitts, and in turn explored the dormant life-force which lay untapped within my people paws - and all through the power of extreme shadow puppetry.

Effect: Permanently increases Dexterity by 5% (up to 10,000,000 maximum gain) after 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,587
Book : Working 9 Til 5 [748] Dolly Parton is the world's favourite large-breasted country singer, unless you count Tim McGraw. But did you know that aside from being a platinum recording artist Ms Parton is also the brains behind a cutting-edge method of project management? This revolutionary scheme takes inspiration from Parton's 9 to 5 single, and fans of her mantra include Donald Trump, Flava Flav, and Bill Gates - the latter seeing an increase of over 400% in productivity since employing Ms Parton's methods at Microsoft. If you're sick of working 9 to 5, barely gettin' by, with all talkin' and no givin', then this book has the potential to change your life.

"If I'd known of Ms Parton's methods when I first started, I probably wouldn't be dead"
- Steve Jobs

Effect: Increases all working stats by 5% (up to 2,500 maximum gain each) upon completion.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,286
Book : Making Friends, Enemies, And Cakes [749] In our modern digital world it can be hard to find new friends, and just as hard to find yourself a pure evil nemesis. With everyone too focused on their iPads, Netflix and terror atrocities we all find it hard to break through and make new acquaintances from time to time. But did you know you can make both friends and foes on the bus, simply by sniffing them? Our easy program of 328 simple steps means you'll acquire lifelong pals and mortal enemies with ease, and all in the time it takes for a stranger to say "What are you doing to my hair?"

Effect: Increases friends list & enemies list capacity by +100 upon completion.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,808
Book : High School For Adults [750] Many of us have regrets about our time in high school - how come I never stood up for myself, I wish I had kissed that girl, why didn't I tell the Principal about coach's after school massage lessons? But the thing most people wish they could change is their course of study. You might be stuck in a dead-end graphic design job wishing you'd studied French. Perhaps you toil away as a physicist but your real passion is interpretive dance. Or maybe you're a Physical Education teacher and you wish you'd actually been to even just once. High School For Adults is the antidote to all of your educational errors, and contains a series of useful ideas which will help you retrain your brain for a whole new vocation or industry.

"I was one of the best pediatric cancer specialists in the world, but curing sick children never gave me anything like the rush I get when I turn up to work at the strip club and let strange men put dollar bills down my buttcrack"
- Dr Brandy Giggletits

Effect: Provides a free merit reset upon completion.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,908
Book : Milk Yourself Sober [751] The healing properties of milk have long been known to mankind, and those first intrepid perverts who dared to suckle on the teat of their bovine brethren unlocked a delicious creamy cave of medicinal wonder. Addiction is a terrible thing, but by replacing each of your daily meals with twelve glasses of milk you'll see those ketamine cravings and hashish hankerings disappear almost as if by magic. A treasure trove of milk stories and milk based recipes can also be found in this, a book described as "dangerously unscientific" by the National Medical Council.

Effect: Removes a substantial amount of drug addiction upon completion.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,874
Book : Fight Like An Asshole [752] The greatest fighters and warmongers in history - Sun Tzu, Napoleon, Hitler, Mike Tyson, Judge Judy - what do they all have in common? They were all gigantic ass-hats. It was Muhammed Ali who was once so eloquently quoted as saying "float like a butterfly, sting like a bee". Yet who amongst the animal kingdom is more of a dick than bees? Perhaps hyenas, but that's besides the point. To become a great fighter you must first become a great douchebag. In Fight Like An Asshole you will learn how to unleash your inner shithead, learning all manner of titty twisters, eye-gouges, and shin-kicks to the cock which will leave your enemy in a crumpled heap of tears and shame.

Effect: Provides a passive 25% bonus to all battle stats for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,320
Book : Mind Over Matter [753] Mind over matter - a saying we've all heard but what exactly does it mean?
Dr Prahapeemanafaleshakor believes that the human body can actually "think" itself strong. The award winning author of such books as Smell Yourself Thin, Bones Are A Social Construct and Bullying Children Makes Them Smart now brings you this in-depth guide as to how you can use the power of self-belief to increase your strength. (N.B. Dr Prahapeemanafaleshakor makes no guarantees as to the success or longevity of his methods and you attempt these activities at your own risk)

Effect: Provides a passive 100% bonus to Strength for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,175
Book : No Shame No Pain [754] In her 2015 essay on the human nervous system entitled Agony and Anxiety - Whaaaa? Professor Folangé Musketeer-Smith revealed a ground-breaking discovery regarding the human nervous system. After a series of experiments involving children subjected to severe amounts of emotional and physical agony, Professor Musketeer-Smith made the astonishing discovery that people who were embarrassed to a sufficiently high degree become entirely immune to pain. No Shame No Pain expands on the Professor's initial findings with a more detailed examination of the ways you can shame yourself and loved ones into an agony free existence.

Effect: Provides a passive 100% bonus to Defense for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,123
Book : Run Like The Wind [755] There isn't a man, woman or child alive who hasn't at some point dreamed of winning the 100m Olympic Sprint with a record breaking time of 9.04 seconds. Many of us have of course tried to achieve such feats, only to be told we're "too old", "too slow", "too fat" and "not from Jamaica". But what if you could use your own personal jet-engine to help you run faster than anyone ever has before you? Run Like The Wind contains scientifically proven methods based on the principle of harnessing your own human flatulence in order to increase speed. Once you know the power your air biscuits can provide, we guarantee you'll never waste another one.

- Oprah Winfrey

Effect: Provides a passive 100% bonus to Speed for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,873
Book : Weaseling Out Of Trouble [756] When the world's animals are listed in order of danger a few familiar names make up the top five; sharks, hippos, lions, spiders, mosquitos. But each time one notable absentee invalidates such lists, and it shall be to his eternal detriment if mankind continues to ignore the ever-present threat of the Weasel. Weasels are known for their extreme dexterity and cunning, yet their passive nature means they rarely use their powers for evil. Those weasels which do turn against man often manage to weasel out of court cases, leading to far fewer prosecutions than you would expect or hope. The only way humanity can combat any future insurrection by Earth's weasel population is to adopt and utilise their methods. By reading Weaseling Out of Trouble, you might just save your life.

Effect: Provides a passive 100% bonus to Dexterity for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,980
Book : Get Hard Or Go Home [757] Fast cars, leather jackets, a horrible personality; men use all sorts of things to mask the fact that they're packing a flaccid little cocktail weenie down there. But we all know the best way to overcompensate for having genitals which resemble an outty belly button is to hit the gym hard. Super hard. So hard it doesn't even matter if someone finds you sobbing in a heap clutching your junk. It doesn't matter okay? It's what you do with it that counts. LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Effect: Increases all gym gains by 20% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 14,006
Book : Gym Grunting - Shouting To Success [758] World famous documentarian Alan Cucumber documents the athletic regimen of tennis legend Serena Williams in a bid to uncover why her on-court grunting regime has brought her so much success. Following Ms Williams over a single calendar year, Cucumber discovers Serena's specific method of grunting and how it helps her in the gym, on the tennis court, and in the bedroom. Sadly Alan Cucumber's eardrums were shattered by one particular grunt as Ms Williams attempted a 6am bicep curl, but the erstwhile storyteller perseveres and brings you the full, unedited story of his time with the multiple Grand Slam champion, in a book which the UK's Guardian newspaper described as "baffling".

Effect: Increases Strength gym gains by 30% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,943
Book : Self Defense In The Workplace [759] An attack on an office can happen at any place, at any time...well obviously that place has to be an office, and it would also have to be open, but you get the point. If a masked intruder was to storm in and murder you at your desk, would you survive? Self Defense In The Workplace teaches you the skills you need to protect yourself in the event of workplace warfare. Find out how dangerous a trapper keeper can be with the right training. Discover how a single sheet of A4 paper can slice a man's throat clean open. And commit to memory the knowledge that someone armed with only six post-it notes, two B3 pencils and a scientific calculator can hold off a horde of over 200 heavily armed troops.

Effect: Increases Defense gym gains by 30% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,722
Book : Speed 3 - The Rejected Script [760] Screenwriter and amateur gynaecologist Ricky Buttons finally reveals to the world the full shooting script for the cancelled third entry into the Speed franchise; Speed 3: Piggyback Ride. In this uniquely fascinating manuscript a young father agrees to give his seven year old daughter a piggyback ride, discovering to his horror that he must then travel faster than 40 miles per hour at all times to avoid seeing his little girl detonate before his very eyes. This romantic action comedy romp is both entertaining and inspiring, as we read with bemusement the various methods employed by the desperate dad to keep his legs perpetually in motion.

Effect: Increases Speed gym gains by 30% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,863
Book : Limbo Lovers 101 [761] The dexterity of one's spine has long been seen as an indication of their sexual prowess, and it is no coincidence that many of the greatest limbo champions were also spectacular in the bedroom. Margaret Headstone-Guff spent six years stalking and bedding some of the greatest pole-avoiders the world has ever seen, and during this time she absorbed many tips and tricks of the trade. Now this knowledge is passed on to you in this, a comprehensive guide to limbering yourself up real good, in a way which hopefully won't leave you paralysed.

"After limbering myself up using the instructions in Limbo Lovers 101, I now eat and defecate through a tube"
- The guy from Mumford & Sons

Effect: Increases Dexterity gym gains by 30% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,651
Book : The Hamburglar's Guide To Crime [762] For three decades The Hamburglar's cheeky beef-stealing exploits were a mainstay of the McDonald's marketing campaign - until a brush with the law in 2003 put an end to both his career and his freedom. Embittered by a custody feud with his ex-wife, Birdie the Early Bird, The Hamburglar (real name Dennis Blork) was sent down for a 12 year stretch by Mayor McCheese after Officer Big Mac stumbled upon him desecrating the salad supplies at a nearby Burger King. But far from being the punishment intended, prison instead hardened The Hamburglar's criminal ways, giving him a range of crafty cons and terrible torture techniques courtesy of his fellow inmates. Now in this tell-all autobiography, The Hamburglar passes on his unique blend of criminal insight and erotic onion-based anecdotes in this The Hamburglar's Guide To Crime.

"If I see you looking at me like that again I'll f**king cut you"
- R. McDonald Esq

Effect: Increases crime skill & crime experience gain by 25% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 0
Book : What Are Old Folk Good For Anyway? [763] Society has long wondered what to do with the elderly - ignore them, burn them, use them as some kind of hat-stand. Many believe we should just put them in old people jail and leave them to rot, but to do these things would be a waste of the delicious knowledge retained inside the minds of our many wrinkled wanderers. In What Are Old Folk Good For Anyway? we examine how you can feast upon the experience inside old-people brains for your own benefit. From how to unlock a door using slippers through to a range of fascinating techniques for persuading someone to sleep with you out of pity - this book is an anthology of elderly experience no young whippersnapper can do without.

Effect: Increases leveling EXP gains by 25% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,029
Book : Medical Degree Schmedical Degree [764] Ever wonder how doctors know so much about your inside parts? Have you ever stopped to consider the possibility that they are wrong and you are right? We've all watched Grey's Anatomy, it can't be that hard. Hear the story of how I, Kenny Manchego, repeatedly leave hospitals against doctor's recommendations several days early, and how you can too!

Effect: Reduces all hospital time by 50% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,765
Book : No More Soap On A Rope [765] Humans have tattled on each other since the dawn of time. Many of us remember the first time we told mom it was the kid next door who shat on the porch. Tattling is what makes humans human, so let us rekindle this spirit and apply those tale-telling traits to the Torn legal system. This guide will help you discover how to rat on your fellow criminals so hard the judge can't help but go easy on you.

Effect: Reduces all jail time by 50% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,341
Book : Mailing Yourself Abroad [766] Ever wonder how mail seems to arrive so much faster at its destination than people do? Ervington Winterbottom did, so he decided to try something out. Over a period of three months he shipped 84 individually boxed kittens to various destinations across the country. On each occasion Winterbottom then attempted to arrive at his parcel's destination before his pussy packages using conventional public transport, and he failed every single time. Despite the unfortunate felines suffocating to death during each journey Ervington knew he had stumbled upon something life-changing, and to this day he saves thousands of pounds and hours every year shipping himself and his family to exotic destinations around the world. Mailing Yourself Abroad is the essential guide to cheap and easy international travel, and within minutes of reading it you'll be taping yourself up for the trip of a lifetime.

Effect: Reduces all travel times by 25% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,146
Book : Smuggling For Beginners [767] International smuggler Reynauld Le Cul has transported over 8,000 tonnes of illicit items between borders over his lifetime, and now as he approaches retirement he has decided to share this knowledge with the world. By building up from small frozen grapes Le Cul explains how to secrete items within yourself, gradually stretching the body's natural elasticated entrances until you are capable of smuggling a baby grand piano without the use of lubricant. Smuggling For Beginners also covers eluding sniffer dogs, how to ace a cavity search, and how it's possible to walk with twelve coke-filled pineapples inside your body without arousing suspicion.

Effect: Increases travel capacity by +10 for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,245
Book : Stealthy Stealing of Underwear [768] If Torn City was more like Tokyo and sold used underwear in vending machines then we wouldn't need a book like this, but it isn't, so we do. I, Miranda Gropenstein, have dedicated my life to stealing all manner of undergarments from people's homes and dumpsters. Filthy men's boxer shorts? You got it. Ladies' thongs. No problem. Crotchless hosiery from the washing basket of a 94 year old blind lady? You better believe it. And guess what, I've never been caught! Let me share with you my stealthy secrets, so you too can become what several newspapers have described as "A filthy-minded wrong-un".

Effect: Maximum stealth for the next 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,799
Book : Shawshank Sure Ain't For Me! [769] Since the release of The Shawshank Redemption, prison breakouts have become a little cliché. Every warden worth his salt now checks behind posters of cute girls for holes, under toilets for cracks in the floor, and at the end of sewerage pipes for excrement-slathered convicts. The old ways no longer work, so Shawshank Sure Ain't For Me! aims to "breakout" and devise a whole new approach to the traditional prison bust. From seducing the warden and dressing up like a Mexican bandido through to pleading insanity and gradually mailing yourself piece by piece to an alternate destination - this book is the go-to guide for both current convicts and potential lawbreakers alike.

Effect: Large jail bust & escape boost for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,095
Book : Ignorance Is Bliss [770] Happiness is the right of every human being, and the best way to achieve this is to pretend bad things don't happen. There is a reason stupid people always seem so giddy with excitement, and that's because their simple minds have no way of knowing what the hell is going on. We take inspiration from those kids in high school who sat at the back of the class eating paste and bring you some psychological tricks to turn that frown upside down. Has your Grandmother died recently? Burn those treasured family photos. Starving kids in Africa? Smash your TV into bits. People calling you dumb? Just straight up murder them with hammers. Our book is full of handy happiness hints suitable for children and adults alike. And if none of them work, our words are also printed on LSD blotter paper.

Effect: Happiness can regenerate above maximum for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,594
Book : Winking To Win [771] There are many books on the art of persuasion, yet they all over-complicate what is essentially a very simple process. Making people give you more of what you want is as easy as two plus two, which if you didn't know equals four. Winking To Win teaches you how a simple wink of the right eye can double your fee in business negotiations instantly, and several winks in a row brings riches you can only dream of. Most people are too afraid to utilise the full power of the wink for fear it may make them resemble a pervert or stroke victim, yet those who truly understand the ways of the semi-blink will testify to its uniquely persuasive nature.

"Since I started winking I haven't looked back, mostly because I over did it and my eyes fell out"
- Stevie Wonder

Effect: Doubles contract credit and money rewards for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,002
Book : Finders Keepers [772] Why is it some people seem to get all the luck? One of your friends finds $50 on the floor, your mother acquires a briefcase full of jewels on the bus, and who hasn't got a best friend who just "happened" to stumble across a spare kidney in Taco Bell? I don't think this is luck at all. My name is D'aniel Bonkonovitch and in Finders Keepers I'll teach you how to make your own good fortune in this world of ours by simply re-classifying burglary, grand theft auto and pickpocketing as "aggressively opportunistic scavenging".

Effect: Increases awareness by 2500% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,891
Book : Hot Turkey [773] Addiction is a cruel mistress and has blighted many people, but all of these tragically wasted lives could have been saved using one simple trick - denial. Both Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous claim the realisation of addiction is the first step towards recovery, but by delaying this crucial first step and recategorizing yourself as being "on the road to being on the road to recovery", you can enjoy one last month-long blowout before going cold turkey. In Hot Turkey we pose the questions drunk people are too wasted to ask. For example, giving in to your vice is often called "Falling off the Wagon", but how do we know the wagon is going in the right direction? Who is driving the wagon? Are there snacks on board? Maybe being on the wagon isn't all that great after all?

Effect: Gain no drug addiction for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,449
Book : Higher Daddy, Higher! [774] The noble art of pushing children on swings has long been suggested as a potential solution to the world's energy crisis. For reasons as yet unknown, the mysterious power of a child screaming "Higher Daddy, Higher!" seems to generate an unlimited amount of energy from untapped reserves located deep within the human body. Higher Daddy, Higher examines this elusive source of raw brute force and seeks to apply its principles to everyday urban living.

"I shouted 'higher daddy, higher!' whilst running for the subway, and I felt more energised than ever before in my life...until I was wrestled to the ground by police officers"
- Judge Judy

Effect: Provides +20% energy regeneration for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,535
Book : The Real Dutch Courage [775] During the Anglo-Dutch war of 1665-1667 the English sailors often remarked upon how brave their clog-wearing foes were in the heat of battle. The Dutch seemed to have complete disregard for their own safety, as was evident by their exclusive use of bicycles in a war fought entirely at sea. One man remarked that the Dutch must've been drunk, and it is from this incident the term "Dutch Courage" originates. Taking a drink before a stressful situation in order to stiffen one's resolve has long been referred to by this term, but The Real Dutch Courage seeks to obliterate this myth and reveal the true source of the Dutch sailors' bravery - the humble wasp. Each Dutchman took to battle a tiny wooden windmill filled with wasps affixed to their inner thigh as a method of encouragement, and the story of how this tradition came to pass truly is a tale for the ages.

Effect: Doubles nerve regeneration for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,324
Book : Because I'm Happy - The Pharrell Story [776] The popular musician and producer Pharrell Williams has long suffered from a debilitating mental condition which causes him to smile at all times, regardless as to whether the situation calls for it. The "Happy" hitmaker is often seen grinning at road traffic accidents, laughing at unfortunate medical diagnoses, and seeming positively ecstatic when informed of the death of a close family friend. This condition was caused by a blow to the head suffered when a 6 year old Pharrell was hit by an ice cream truck whilst walking his dog. However, when the young RnB sensation awoke to find his canine companion had passed away after gorging itself on chocolate snow-cones spilled during the accident, he found the news so funny he became unable to shed tears ever again. This inspiring unauthorised biography of Pharrell Williams is a must read for anyone who needs something to stare at while taking a dump.

Effect: Doubles happiness regeneration for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,778
Book : No More Sick Days [777] Traditional medicine has long been established as the one and only method of healing the sick, but did Jesus have access to aspirin and cough syrup when he cured the lepers? Historians say no, so how could he possibly achieve both this and the growth of such a long, lustrous beard? At the Medicinal Institute for Non-Derivative Life Extending Support Systems we work with homeopaths, psychics, spiritual healers and other non-qualified individuals to create alternative medical products for the gullible folk of the 21st Century. Did we say gullible? We meant smart. Smart educated people who clearly know more than those idiots with their "medical qualifications", "years of training" and their "reasonable logic".

Effect: Doubles life regeneration for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,697
Book : Duke - My Story [778] How you doin? I'm The Duke, and this is my story what I gone and wrote myself. Now if you wanna learn how to be a big-time honcho head like me you better sit down and read this, but don't go reading it on the john cause I don't wanna see that business! My book is full of stories about how people double crossed over me and I whacked em real hard, but they ain't put no pictures in like I said because they say Oprah won't read it if I do. If you wanna hear about how I grew up on the streets alone, how I became the biggest shark in a small duck pond of fish, and why I'm even more dangerous than those Balsamic State nutjobs over in the Middle Earth...then you better buy this book yeah? Good. I knew you'd agree.

Effect: Duke will occasionally retaliate against your attackers for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 0
Book : Self Control Is For Losers [779] How many beers do you think it's safe to drink in an hour? Four? Twelve? Forty twelve? What about cigars, cream cakes and breakfast burritos? Surely there's a limit right? Everything in moderation? Not if you're smart about it there isn't. My name is Hermando Ravioli, and my breakfast consists of deep-fried lard balls accompanied by a Champagne and human blood smoothie. But how can I eat this and still weigh only six stone? By tricking my body like a sucker that's how. Each morning I use visualisation techniques to convince my brain I've just completed a marathon, thereby increasing my metabolism and allowing me to fill my face with ever more crap. With Self Control is For Losers you too will learn my gluttonous secrets, and before long you'll be on your way to a well-earned heart attack.

Effect: Reduces all consumable cooldowns by 50% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,414
Book : Going Back For More [780] When the ordinary public uses non-prescription medication for headaches, stomach pain or genital warts they often pay close attention to the recommended dosage. If the packet says take two every 24 hours, you take two every 24 hours - unless you are attempting to kill yourself. But did you know that you can take two times, three times, or even twelve times the recommended dose of any medication and only suffer minor internal bleeding and blindness? Going Back For More lifts the lid on the "recommended dosage" conspiracy and gives you the inside track on exactly how much morphine, neumune and painkilling medication you can take before you realise "I may have gone too far".

Effect: Reduces all medical cooldowns by 50% for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,833
Book : Get Drunk And Lose Dignity [781] Hollywood is littered with tales of tinseltown stars losing their minds in a haze of drunken debauchery, with Marlon Brando, Alec Guinness, Colin Farrell and Betty White all falling foul of the demon drink at one point or another. But one woman outstrips them all - Lindsay Lohan. The enchanting tale of the silver screen's hepatitis typhoon is brought to life in this exquisite anthology of crayon drawings and doodles. If you've always wanted to puke like a Hollywood starlet then this story will both inspire and disgust you, as you are taken on a veritable rollercoaster of booze, bitching, and blowjobs behind dumpsters.

Effect: Doubles alcohol effects for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,999
Book : Fuelling Your Way To Failure [782] In 1995 on a quiet walk through a forgettable city centre I met a man who would change my life. My name is Letitia Solid-Loaf and for years I had suffered with fatigue of both the mind and brain, until I bumped into a homeless man drinking petrol behind a KFC. He went by the name of Toxic Terry, and with his deep blue eyes and unruly mop of shaggy blonde hair he persuaded me to take a taste of his "cocktail" - which I later discovered was a simple energy drink mixed with petroleum. For the first time in my life I felt alive, and since this revelation I haven't gone more than three hours without combining an energy drink with harmful industrial propellants. Despite losing all of my hair, teeth, gums and dignity I do not regret a thing, and in Fuelling Your Way To Failure I offer up some of my favourite refuelling recipes for you to try at home, at school, or in a heavily soiled alleyway.

Effect: Doubles energy drink effects for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,588
Book : Yes Please Diabetes [783] If the tale of the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar tells us anything, it's that the morbidly obese eventually turn into a beautiful butterfly. Wouldn't you like to be that beautiful butterfly? Of course you would. This step by step guide will teach you the skills you need to become happier than ever as you consume nothing but candy and become a complete shut in within the comfort of your own home.

Effect: Doubles candy effects for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,750
Book : Ugly Energy [784] If there's one thing ugly people are known for it's their enthusiasm - because when you have a face that looks like you've fallen out of the ugly tree, been dragged through the whole hideous forest, chopped down by a grotesque lumber corporation and fashioned into the most vomit-inducing coffee table the world has ever've got to make a bit of an effort. In Ugly Energy we help you feel more energetic by teaching you how to disfigure your own face using nothing but a screwdriver, two tubs of mayonnaise and an industrial belt sander. And once you've messed up those stunning looks of yours, you'll begin to massively overcompensate and release the true power locked behind that one gorgeous mush.

"I used to be pretty, but now I do stuff instead...literally all the stuff"
- Lady Gaga

Effect: Increases maximum energy to 250 for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 13,924
Book : Memories And Mammaries [785] Some people are blessed with a photographic memory, others possess a naturally advanced brain capacity - but what about the rest of us? During her teenage years, mathematician and convicted felon Jennifer Yellow-Hat noticed that her friends had an astounding ability to recall her words whenever she wore a bulky sweater. Conversely, on days where her cleavage was on display, her associates' efforts to memorise facts and figures failed repeatedly. Her conclusion that the presence of breasts reduces the human mind's capacity for memory helped one Harvard student to a 100% grade on his advanced physics paper, and in Memories and Mammaries Ms Yellow-Hat explains how you too can improve information retention with three simple boob banishing techniques.

"What's my name again? Who are you? What am I doing here?"
- Hugh Hefner

Effect: Takes the same effect from the last used book for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,317
Book : Brown-nosing The Boss [786] The term "brown-nosing" refers to the behavior of an employee attempting to curry favor with their superior or superiors. It was first coined by the Roman Emperor Tiberius, whose appointed counsel frequently cleansed their leader's unvarnished penny as an act of worship and servitude. Obviously such techniques are inappropriate today, but what modern equivalents can an employee use to increase their workplace reputation? With step-by-step guides to everything from incisive compliments through to impromptu massage at the urinals, Brown-nosing The Boss is the most important career-progression tool you will ever need.

Effect: Greatly increases personal employee effectiveness for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,964
Book : Running Away From Trouble [787] Some of Torn's most respected cowards draw upon a lifetime's experience of running from scary shit to offer an eye-opening glimpse into the world of the namby pamby wuss. In this guide you'll find strategies and stories, none of which are heroic, which you can use to inspire yourself to run screaming like a little girl at the next sign of trouble.

"A book so gutless we're surprised it's even got a spine"
- The New York Times

Effect: Guaranteed attacking escape attempt success for 31 days.
Book $0 $0 $0 12,839
Certificate of Awesome [788] If there was an Awesomeness competition you would come first, second and third. And then we'd end the competition, burn down the stadium, and award you this Certificate of Awesome. Other $0 $0 $12,679 656,210
Certificate of Lame [789] There's nothing worse than trying and failing. You may as well just give up on life now. This Certificate of Lame can be presented at any pharmacy in exchange for a bottle of vodka, sleeping pills, and medicinal suicide grenades. Other $0 $0 $8,291 340,889
Plastic Sword [790] Kids have so much fun fighting with plastic swords and now you can too! Unless of course your opponent has an actual sword...

The Plastic Sword is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $4 $9,468 348,064
Mediocre T-Shirt [791] Need to blend into a crowd? Nothing says 'Average Joe' like this Mediocre T-shirt. Wear this on the streets and both cops and crooks will know you are reasonably okay at stuff. Clothing $0 $7 $136 712,897
Penelope [792] Penelope is Duke's favourite baseball bat which he's had since he was a kid. It is named after his ex-girlfriend Penelope because he likes to smash people in the balls with it, which was her favourite pastime too.

The Penelope is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 692
Cake Frosting [793] Just regular frosting. You know, the kind your mom buys for your birthday cake when she doesn't love you enough to make it herself.

Effect: Can be used with a Fruitcake and Lock Picking Kit to create a Special Fruitcake.
Material $0 $0 $0 452
Lock Picking Kit [794] This kit can pick any lock, key or electronic, and is small enough to be secreted anywhere you like. Except there.

Effect: Can be used with a Fruitcake and Cake Frosting to create a Special Fruitcake.
Tool $0 $0 $0 452
Special Fruitcake [795] This fruitcake isn't "special" in the same way as your cousin Billy. It just means it now contains a secret lock picking kit. Tool $0 $0 $0 96
Felovax [796] Felovax is a vaccine for cats against the Feline Immunodeficiency Virus. You are now safe from Cat AIDS.

Effect: Treats Feline Immunodeficiency Virus.
Medical $0 $0 $0 367
Zylkene [797] Zylkene is a stress reducing drug mostly prescribed to dogs.

Effect: Reduces stress in canines.
Medical $0 $0 $0 345
Duke's Safe [798] Duke's safe isn't used for mere money, the things you'll find in here will make you feel dirtier than if you licked the bottom of a garbage can.

Effect: Can be opened to reveal the contents if the correct combination is entered.
Other $0 $0 $0 640
Duke's Selfies [799] Duke's naked polaroids from the '80s show a much fitter, leaner gentleman. Other $0 $0 $0 24,929
Duke's Poetry [800] To offset his violent tendencies, Duke relaxes by writing love poems in this book. Other $0 $0 $0 25,097
Duke's Dog's Ashes [801] Duke's dog Nixon was killed by squirrels. His ashes are stored in this urn. Other $0 $0 $0 25,109
Duke's Will [802] This will bequeaths Duke's possessions to his ex-girlfriend Penelope...not the baseball bat. Other $0 $0 $0 25,269
Duke's Gimp Mask [803] Duke accidentally bought this leather gimp mask thinking it was a sleeping hood...or so he says. Clothing $0 $0 $0 24,970
Duke's Herpes Medication [804] This packet may or may not contain herpes medication, but Duke takes them anyway. Medical $0 $0 $0 24,872
Duke's Hammer [805] A devastatingly brutal claw hammer which is also a fruity shade of purple. Duke likes purple.

The Duke's Hammer is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 802
Old Lady Mask [806] With this realistic rubber old lady mask you could infiltrate an old folks home easily...if you wanted to. Clothing $0 $0 $17,980 73,985
Exotic Gentleman Mask [807] Nobody can decide whether this rubber mask of an Indian man is racist or not. Duke owns it, so it probably is. Clothing $0 $0 $16,427 74,054
Ginger Kid Mask [808] Ever wanted to experience ginger-prejudice up close and personal? Try this rubber ginger kid mask! Clothing $0 $0 $45,527 73,827
Young Lady Mask [809] With this realistic attractive young lady mask you too can be cat-called by construction workers whenever you like. Clothing $0 $0 $15,062 74,428
Moustache Man Mask [810] Everyone trusts a guy with a moustache, but if you can't grow your own this rubber moustache man mask will do the job instead. Clothing $0 $0 $15,497 74,036
Scarred Man Mask [811] This rubber scarred man mask is perfect for Halloween, or getting your own row of seats on the bus. Clothing $0 $0 $17,000 73,779
Psycho Clown Mask [812] This rubber psycho clown mask is so realistic even your unborn grandchildren will have nightmares. Clothing $0 $0 $99,998 74,095
Nun Mask [813] Nobody suspects a nun of anything untoward, so why not wear this realistic rubber nun mask whilst committing terrible acts in the Lord's name? Clothing $0 $0 $18,284 74,103
Tyrosine [814] Tyrosine acts as a mental alertness booster by synthesising itself into dopamine; a compound which improves the transport of messages between nerve cells and neurons. Tests on animals show that Tyrosine can have an effect on mood and alertness. When used in combat, this steroid will provide a massive bonus to dexterity.

Effect: User becomes Sharpened, increasing Dexterity by 500% for 120 seconds.

The Tyrosine is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $600,000 $450,000 $599,898 246,516
Keg of Beer [815] This keg will provide you with a delicious glass of foaming ice-cold beer, but if you're planning to chug the whole thing you may be out of luck. The quantity of intoxicating liquor within each keg is unknown, meaning you could squeeze out five, ten or even just a single solitary pint from this item. Make sure to savour every drop, because it could be your last.

Effect: Provides a Glass of Beer when used. Estimated 80 servings.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $13,613,808 17,554
Glass of Beer [816] Only savages drink beer straight out of the bottle. This glass of beer is obtained fresh from the keg, and provides the same level of drunken joy as you'd get from a regular bottle of suds. Provides a moderate nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 2 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $0 594,024
Six-Pack of Alcohol [817] When one bottle of booze simply isn't enough, this six-pack of exquisite forget-me-juice is just the thing you need to block out painful memories and make you feel on top of the world. Minty Mayhem, Kandy Kane, and Pumpkin Brew are just some of the drinks your randomly selected six-pack might contain.

Effect: Provides 6 premium alcoholic drinks when opened.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $1,344,376 316,964
Six-Pack of Energy Drink [818] Need a pick me up? This randomly chosen six-pack of assorted energy drinks will have you shaking with pure enthusiasm in five seconds flat. Munster, Red Cow or Taurine Elite could be waiting for you in this carefully curated collection of refreshing liquid could a heart attack.

Effect: Provides 6 premium energy drinks when opened.
Supply Pack $0 $0 $15,797,695 175,357
Rosary Beads [819] If your god or gods still won't answer your prayers then these deity-tempting Rosary Beads are sure to get their attention. Made from the most sacred blend of polyurethane on the market, holding these in the palm of your hand will increase the effects of praying in the Church.

Effect: Boosts the effects of praying in the church by 10%.
Enhancer $0 $0 $832,250 37,372
Piggy Bank [820] The Piggy Bank is a porcine pottery vessel which can be used to store money. If you find saving hard, this item works in lieu of willpower to stash your cash away for a rainy day, as its contents can only be acquired by smashing it open.

Effect: Can safely store money. Withdrawing the contents will destroy the item.
Special $0 $0 $0 67,053
Empty Vial [821] Suitable for storing all manner of excretia and internal fluids, the glass vial comes with a water-tight screw-top lid designed to prevent spillage.

Effect: Can be filled with bodily fluids.
Other $0 $0 $0 0
Vial of Blood [822] This is a glass vial which now contains your blood. Take care not to spill it at a crime scene. Other $0 $0 $0 0
Vial of Urine [823] This is a glass vial which now contains your urine. It feels pleasantly warm to the touch. Other $0 $0 $0 0
Vial of Saliva [824] This is a glass vial which now contains your saliva. If you forgot to brush your teeth beforehand it may also contain traces of your dinner. Other $0 $0 $0 0
Questionnaire [825] The Neurological Uniform Temperament Survey is a form containing probing psychological questions, the answers to which can be used to determine the subject's proclivities for violence, empathy and general shenanigans.

Effect: Needs to be completed and returned to Amanda.
Other $0 $0 $0 0
Agreement [826] The Casus Foederis is a legal document created on behalf of Professor Amanda Ravenscroft. The signing of this document allows for your continued employment by the Professor, but you would be wise to read its terms before you do so.

Effect: Needs to be signed and returned to Amanda.
Other $0 $0 $0 0
Perceptron : Calibrator [827] This calibration edition of the Perceptron is a handheld tablet loaded with Psyreader 4.001 cognitive profiling software. This program utilises the user's response to logical, emotional and creative stimulus in order to generate a virtual mental profile, a profile which is subsequently used to calibrate any further devices used by the individual. Other $0 $0 $0 1
Donald Trump Mask '16 [828] Whether you love him or hate him, there's no denying that Donald Trump certainly exists. And now you too can walk around snatching felines at will with this realistic rubber depiction of his frequently animated face. (Made in Mexico) Clothing $0 $0 $0 60
Yellow Snowman '16 [829] We've all made snowmen before, and who doesn't love writing their name in yellow snow? But rarely are these two elegant pastimes combined, until now, with this magnificent showstopping ornament made from 100% anonymous tramp urine. Collectible $0 $0 $0 10
Nock Gun [830] The Nock Gun is a seven-barrelled rifle used by the British Royal Navy in the 18th Century. Capable of firing all seven of its 12mm rounds at once, the recoil from this gun means it can be fired just once per encounter, yet if you hit your opponent, once is all that's needed. Owned by Leslie Chanthavong thanks to his ancestors' theft of them from a Navy frigate 300 years ago, Leslie insists that each round fired from this weapon has spent a small period of time inside his bottom.

The Nock Gun is a Shotgun type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 56
Beretta Pico [831] If you're looking for a handgun small enough to hide in your bra yet strong enough to stop a horse, then the Beretta Pico is the firearm for you. The Pico is the thinnest semi-auto handgun in the world, and is capable of holding 6 .380 bullets inside its tiny 5 inch frame.

The Beretta Pico is a Pistol type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $0 $17,000,420 1,888
Riding Crop [832] Wielded by equestrians and perverts alike, the riding crop is a 30-inch lash-less whip comprising a fibreglass cane covered in leather. With one end thickened for grip and the other finished with a leather tongue, it is designed so as to not leave a mark when used. Using just a single flick of the wrist, one can inflict a great deal of pain or pleasure with this tasty little item.

The Riding Crop is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 224
Sand [833] There's nothing worse than getting sand in your eyes, especially in the middle of a fight with an aggressive stranger. Sand causes your opponent to become temporarily blinded, although this effect wears off over time.

Effect: Opponent becomes Blinded, decreasing Speed to 1/5th for 15-20 seconds.

The Sand is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $0 $25,048,499 6,236
Sweatpants [834] These grubby sweatpants belong to Leslie Chanthavong and have his name sewn into them. If you are wearing them you may wish to make an appointment at the local GUM clinic as soon as possible. Clothing $0 $0 $474,999 6,867
String Vest [835] For a look that screams welfare-dependent alcoholic, this lightly soiled string vest is a staple fixture in the wardrobe of any self-respecting bum. Clothing $0 $0 $150,000 7,002
Black Oxfords [836] This pair of classy, gentleman's Oxford shoes are tough, buffed and guaranteed to make even the most insignificant lowlife feel like a big shot. Just don't go wearing them for a game of Foot Roulette. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,942
Rheinmetall MG 3 [837] This German-made, belt-fed machine gun works best when mounted on a tripod or vehicle, but it still looks pretty badass wielded in one hand Rambo-style. Its surprisingly short recoil is complimented by a 1300 rounds per minute rate, and with an effective range of 200 to 1200 metres there's no hiding from this weapon's deadly brand of German efficiency.

The Rheinmetall MG 3 is a Machine gun type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $2,000,000,000 130
Homemade Pocket Shotgun [838] Capable of firing a single 12 gauge shell with more accuracy than a regular shotgun, this concealable pistol-sized sidearm will probably do as much damage to you as it does your opponent. But despite its hefty recoil and single-shell capacity, one shot from this baby is often more than enough.

The Homemade Pocket Shotgun is a Shotgun type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $0 $0 1,740
Madball [839] The Madball is the weapon of choice for gangsters on a budget, consisting of nothing more than a billiard ball placed into the end of a tube sock. But don't let this weapon's simple nature deceive you, because a single crack to the skull can render even the toughest brutes unconscious within seconds.

The Madball is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $6,250,000 1,636
Nail Bomb [840] Based on an old Irish recipe passed down through the generations, this particular style of Nail Bomb comes in the form of a pressure cooker filled with nails, ball-bearings and razorblades. Detonated using a blasting cap placed into the cooker's cover, many hapless terrorists have been known to confuse this device for a pot of mammy's delicious stew.

The Nail Bomb is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $0 $1,899,996 8,594
Classic Fedora [841] With its wide-brim and indented crown, the Fedora proved a popular choice for gangsters and criminals of the early 20th Century. Later sported by the likes of Frank Sinatra, Indiana Jones and Michael Jackson, this piece of elegant headgear is often made of wool, cashmere or rabbit-hair, but this particular edition comes thanks to the eternal sacrifice of three brave chinchillas. Clothing $0 $0 $226,999 5,798
Pinstripe Suit Trousers [842] These stylish pinstripe suit trousers are made from 100% natural wool, which guarantees both long-lasting wear and the flexibility needed to swiftly kick a man when he's down. Clothing $0 $0 $814,850 5,861
Duster [843] Traditionally the preserve of cowboys, 50's detectives and 90's high-school shooters, the trenchcoat duster allows you to circumvent concealed carry laws with ease and keep your enemy guessing until the very last moment. Clothing $0 $0 $0 135
Tranquilizer Gun [844] The Tranquiliser Gun fires etorphine-laced darts at a rate of one every twenty seconds, requiring fast reflexes and a keen eye to be in the least bit effective.

The Tranquilizer Gun is a Piercing type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $0 $0 0
Bolt Gun [845] Using pressurised air to propel a pointed metal projectile, the Bolt Gun is capable of penetrating the skull of most creatures with one devastating shot. Often found on farms and in slaughterhouses, this weapon's retractable ammunition requires a close-range hit to be effective.

The Bolt Gun is a Mechanical type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 0
Scalpel [846] The blade of this surgical scalpel is made from volcanic glass, which is many times finer than a conventional steel blade, and this makes its edge capable of gliding through flesh at a cellular level.

The Scalpel is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 0
Nerve Gas [847] Odorless, colourless and extremely potent, Sarin Nerve gas paralyses the lung muscles to cause death from suffocation within one to ten minutes after inhalation.

Effect: Opponent receives Contaminated damage over 20 turns.

The Nerve Gas is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $0 $0 10
Kevlar Lab Coat [848] This laboratory coat consists of a Kevlar polymer reinforced with carbon-fiber and overlaid with fire-resistant Nomex. Knives, bullets and flames will have a hard time penetrating this piece of apparel. Defensive $0 $0 $0 0
Loupes [849] Whether you're performing life-saving surgery or an agonising vivisection procedure, these head-mounted medical loupes allow you to magnify your view of the subject and make incisions with precision. Clothing $0 $0 $0 0
Sledgehammer [850] The 40lb Sledgehammer is a difficult weapon to wield. But if you do manage to connect with your opponent, a single blow is often enough to pulverize their pelvis into dust. Incidentally, that's why Peter Gabriel chose this as his nickname.

The Sledgehammer is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 135
Wifebeater [851] Whenever someone rocks up to a fight wearing a vest, you know they're gonna be able to take a punch. There's just something about the wifebeater vest that makes you harder to put down. Don't believe us, try it for yourself! Clothing $0 $0 $0 0
Metal Detector [852] Most frequently found in the hands of lonely middle-aged men with nothing better to do on a Sunday, the metal detector is a handheld device capable of locating metallic objects through sand, soil and human flesh.

Effect: Enables ability to search the beach.
Tool $0 $0 $2,085,036 38,349
Cemetery Key [853] As its name suggests, this key grants access to the Torn City cemetery, enabling you to desecrate graves, interfere with corpses and make goth music videos as often as you so wish.

Effect: Enables access to the cemetery.
Tool $0 $0 $4,450,051 32,900
Questionnaire : Completed [854] The Neurological Uniform Temperament Survey is a form containing probing psychological questions, the answers to which can be used to determine the subject's proclivities for violence, empathy and general shenanigans.

Effect: Needs to be returned to Amanda.
Other $0 $0 $0 3
Agreement : Signed [855] The Casus Foederis is a legal document created on behalf of Professor Amanda Ravenscroft. The signing of this document allows for your continued employment by the Professor, but you would be wise to read its terms before you do so.

Effect: Needs to be returned to Amanda.
Other $0 $0 $0 1
Spray Paint : Black [856] This aerosol can contains approximately 400ml of black spray paint. The black items displayed on the can include a chalkboard, some coal, a blackbird, and the darkened void of your immediate surroundings after being locked in the cellar and fed nothing but pins.

Effect: Used to spray graffiti.
Material $10 $5 $406 2,126,813
Spray Paint : Red [857] This aerosol can contains approximately 400ml of red spray paint. The red items displayed on the can include a tomato, a firetruck, a stop sign, and the blood-spattered victims of a brutal murder suicide.

Effect: Used to spray graffiti.
Material $10 $5 $436 2,013,156
Spray Paint : Pink [858] This aerosol can contains approximately 400ml of pink spray paint. The pink items displayed on the can include a piglet, cotton candy, flamingoes, and a sunburnt version of the singer Alecia Beth Moore Hart.

Effect: Used to spray graffiti.
Material $10 $5 $351 1,592,822
Spray Paint : Purple [859] This aerosol can contains approximately 400ml of purple spray paint. The purple items displayed on the can include grapes, an eggplant, some pansies, and a really big bruise that looks like it'll be sore tomorrow.

Effect: Used to spray graffiti.
Material $10 $5 $373 1,488,025
Spray Paint : Blue [860] This aerosol can contains approximately 400ml of blue spray paint. The blue items displayed on the can include blueberries, the ocean, a bunch of cornflowers, and a waffle.

Effect: Used to spray graffiti.
Material $10 $5 $375 1,708,146
Spray Paint : Green [861] This aerosol can contains approximately 400ml of green spray paint. The green items displayed on the can include a frog, a patch of grass, a cannabis leaf, and a tubby child's face after riding a rollercoaster.

Effect: Used to spray graffiti.
Material $10 $5 $394 1,552,455
Spray Paint : White [862] This aerosol can contains approximately 400ml of white spray paint. The white items displayed on the can include a sheet of A4 paper, a snowflake, cotton wool, and a spooky-gentleman dressed like some kind of pointy ghost.

Effect: Used to spray graffiti.
Material $10 $5 $385 1,861,236
Spray Paint : Orange [863] This aerosol can contains approximately 400ml of orange spray paint. The orange items displayed on the can include a satsuma, cheetos, a kinky drawing of Garfield, and the Pornhub logo stencilled onto Donald Trump's face.

Effect: Used to spray graffiti.
Material $10 $5 $359 1,261,129
Salt Shaker [864] The Salt Shaker is similar to a pepper shaker, in so much as it is a shaker full of salt, rather than pepper. You may wish to send it to someone who frequently dispenses excess sodium within the forums. Other $0 $5 $3,693 110,758
Poison Mistletoe [865] The quickest route to pleasure is through someone else's misery. If 2017 had a slogan, that would be it. So why not ring out the year by smooching under this Poison Mistletoe, which contains a hidden spritzer allowing you to drench your beloved in toxic chemicals and gain happiness at their expense.

Effect: Decreases a target's happiness by 25%, increasing your happiness by the same amount.
Special $0 $0 $31,323,209 13,001
Santa's List '17 [866] Have you been naughty or nice in 2017? This list was stolen from Santa's grotto and contains the names of all Torn's citizens neatly separated into two, highly judgemental columns. Those with split personality disorders are deemed eligible for both. Collectible $0 $0 $0 100
Soapbox [867] Have you got something mean to say about staff or Chedburn? Perhaps you're leaving the game due to a recent change and you'd like everyone to stand up and notice. If so, you'll need a portable pontification podium from which to preach your wisdom. Feel free to pass on the Soapbox to those who need it most. Collectible $0 $0 $0 25
Turkey Baster [868] The favoured tool of same sex and surrogate parents, this turkey baster can be employed to assist in the impregnation of a human woman without resorting to formal intercourse. It may also be used to slather a piece of cooked meat in its own juices - after you've rinsed it out. Other $0 $1 $10,123 156,208
Elon Musk Mask '17 [869] The fragrantly-named Elon Musk poses a threat to humanity like no man before. A potential super-villain in the making, his artificially intelligent bidets and hyperscoop payment pals will destroy us all. Amber Heard found this out for herself, so please, raise awareness of Musk's evil intentions by sporting this mask of his face. Just like Space X rockets, this mask is reusable and may explode upon impact. Clothing $0 $0 $0 250
Love Juice [870] Made from the secretions of the Patagonian Filth Weasel, Love Juice is a fast acting aphrodisiac - or so it says on the label. In reality, this product is known to be useless, unless you are exposed to a large cloud of human reproductive pheromones, in which case it will make you angry, hyperactive and strangely Samaritan.

Effect: Reduces attack & revive energy cost by 10. Increases Speed by 50% and Dexterity by 25%.
Drug $0 $0 $4,029,999 100,605
Bug Swatter [871] This bug swatter is given to those who report serious exploits or bugs which they could have abused for their own gain. The number of these items in circulation gives a good idea of how honest citizens really are.

The Bug Swatter is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 32
Nothing [872] Following the results of a city-wide poll, the people of Torn decided that the first 100 people to reach Level 100 should be given nothing. So here it is. Absolutely diddly squat. Zilch. Nada. Nowt.

Effect: Does nothing.
Collectible $0 $0 $0 100
Bottle of Green Stout [873] Consisting of nothing more than a glug of Irish stout and copious amounts of toxic green food colouring, this emerald-coloured beverage will give you the supreme confidence of a drunk while also serving to clean out your colon in record time. Provides a very large nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 5 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $1,318,563 92,253
Prototype [874] A weapon provisionally delegated by Torn authorities to members of the staff and committee for the experimentation of special bonuses. The firearm should be kept in optimal condition and cleaned regularly during entrustment, may be repossessed at any time.

The Prototype is a Rifle type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $0 $0 75
Rotten Apple [875] A withered apple. It's puckered skin is spotted with age. Shaking the apple stirs a faint rattling, as dried seeds echo within its woody core. Other $0 $0 $107 656,459
Festering Chicken [876] A decaying chicken drumstick half covered in dried ranch dressing. Despite its rancid aroma, it is considered a delicacy by much of Torn City's animal population. Other $0 $0 $261 202,498
Moldy Pizza [877] A putrid slice of pizza adorned with mushrooms of dubious origin. Sniffing it very carefully reveals the faintest odour of anchovies. Other $0 $0 $175 191,496
Smelly Cheese [878] A rancid slice of cheese garnished with gobs of spoiled mayonnaise. Left out in the sun too long, it oozes grease. Other $0 $0 $1,003 168,747
Sour Milk [879] A grubby bottle of spoiled milk. The glass is smeared with greasy fingerprints and the contents are dried and lumpy. It is not a good idea to smell this item. Other $0 $0 $555 124,299
Stale Bread [880] A piece of dry bread. Once part of a sandwich, now it is home to a collection of molds. Other $0 $0 $795 104,917
Spoiled Fish [881] A fetid piece of fish, half rotted, then dried in the midday sun. In some places this might be considered a local delicacy. Torn City is not one of them. Other $0 $0 $821 83,671
Insurance Policy [882] A fully customizable insurance policy with blanks in both standard and non-standard places. It can be used to insure anything and everyone, with or without their knowledge. Material $0 $1 $28,108 285,442
Bank Statement [883] A bank statement bearing the name, address and account number of someone unfortunate with money to steal.

Effect: Used during the production of forgery projects.
Material $0 $1 $126,281 279,909
Car Battery [884] A fully charged car battery. Other $0 $450 $409 1,604,656
Scrap Metal [885] A useful-looking piece of scrap metal. This item can be sold for cash or put to a number of innovative and profitable uses. Other $0 $50 $84 5,080,536
Torn City Times [886] Read all about Torn's most dangerous criminals in the city's only officially recognized newspaper! The Torn City Times: Bringing you the biggest, realest, newest news. Tool $0 $0 $1,501 394,147
Magazine [887] Karma! Magazine: Exposing the looks, loves and dirty laundry of Torn's hottest criminals. Other $0 $5 $530 625,211
Umbrella [888] This convenient travel umbrella comes with a telescopic handle and absolutely no guarantees. Other $0 $75 $69 577,818
Travel Mug [889] A leak-proof travel mug that makes it easier to beat people up without spilling your coffee. Other $0 $30 $49 520,481
Headphones [890] Block out the sound of danger with these stylish headphones! Disclaimer: danger may persist despite silence. Other $0 $250 $183 899,053
Undefined [891] Unused $0 $30 $0 0
Mix CD [892] A home-made CD featuring a romantic hand-picked playlist. Other $0 $5 $49 344,709
Lost and Found Office Key [893] This key opens the door to the Subway Lost and Found office.

Effect: Unlocks additional outcomes when searching the subway.
Tool $0 $0 $649,255 24,807
Cosmetics Case [894] A high quality cosmetics case filled with designer makeup and high quality applicators. Other $0 $200 $120 688,640
Phone Card [895] This long distance phone card is great for catching up with friends, threatening your enemies, and lying to parole officers. Other $0 $30 $113 429,643
Subway Pass [896] Get through turnstiles faster with a season pass for the Torn City subway. Other $0 $2,000 $1,917 279,722
Bottle Cap [897] The apocalypse is inevitable. Invest in the currency of the future by collecting bottle caps! Other $0 $1 $1,096 20,289,206
Silver Coin [898] An old American silver dollar polished by the sands of time. Other $0 $10,000 $24,871 223,224
Silver Bead [899] A native american silver bead decorated with an intricate pattern. Other $0 $25,000 $332,570 27,594
Lucky Quarter [900] This lucky quarter will give you a heads' up whenever you need it! Other $0 $5,000 $278,601 24,108
Daffodil [901] A bright and cheerful yellow flower certain to fill you with the joys of spring. Flower $0 $5 $64 1,115,083
Bunch of Carnations [902] An inexpensive yet stylish bunch of flowers from a gas station near you! Perfect for apologising to your wife or taking to the funeral of a colleague you didn't really like. Flower $0 $15 $164 1,200,085
White Lily [903] Pay your respects with this flawless white lily. May leave pollen on your clothing. Flower $0 $10 $7,613 360,454
Funeral Wreath [904] Send your enemies off in style with this tasteful funeral wreath! Flower $0 $75 $52 724,371
Car Keys [905] These mystery car keys are missing their fob, but they might still turn out to be useful. Other $0 $100 $2,102 1,092,099
Handkerchief [906] A delicately embroidered handkerchief, perfect for drying tears.

Effect: Required for the disposal of firearms.
Tool $0 $10 $20 627,398
Candle [907] A sturdy ten inch candle suitable for a variety of uses.

Effect: Used during the production of forgery projects.
Material $0 $10 $47,898 2,096,351
Paper Bag [908] Awarded to the winners of Leslie's 'I Hate Mr and Ms Torn' contest, this paper bag can be worn over the head to protect others from the soul-destroying horror that is your damned ugly face. Collectible $0 $0 $0 60
Tin Can [909] An empty tin can with a rusty edge, perfect for storing leftovers or throwing at local wildlife. Other $0 $1 $58 1,135,843
Betting Slip [910] This commemorative betting slip was given to members of the bookie team, whose years of manual bets and inputs came to an end when they were replaced by machines who worked harder and complained less. Collectible $0 $0 $0 51
Fidget Spinner [911] A popular craze back in 2017, Fidget Spinners were invented by Steve Fidget and Steve Spinner in 1992 as a way of distracting children's fingers from the exotic lure of plug sockets. This one was awarded to Jammed, and is subsequently now broken and gunked up with mashed potatoes. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Majestic Moose [912] At first glance, you may believe this Majestic Moose to be so named due to its magnificent set of antlers. You would be wrong. The majesty of this moose is evident through its personality, just like Forgey, who it was awarded to for being consistently majestic and protecting the Canadian border. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Lego Wonder Woman [913] Just like Poptop, this Lego Wonder Woman comes equipped with Dual Ban Hammers and a plastic personality. Unlike Poptop, this figurine poses a choking hazard to children aged 3 and under. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
CR7 Doll [914] Awarded to Tiller in recognition of his speed, skill and magnificent thighs. Unfortunately, the doll can only be viewed from the back, as the face looks nothing like him. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Stretch Armstrong Doll [915] This Stretch Armstrong doll is made of plastic, rubber and filled with a non-toxic gel. It was awarded to staff member Stretch, who is made of skin, bones and filled with a highly toxic substance known as alcohol. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Beef Femur [916] After a hard day's staffing, 787thWarDog loves nothing more than to kick back and relax by chewing on a 10lb beef femur. Now you know why his coat is so glossy. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Snake's Fang [917] Filled with enough venom to kill a whale or 4,000 puppies, this snake's fang was originally implanted into the mouth of staff member Dexter. Sadly, he had to have it removed after accidentally biting his own tongue. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Icey Igloo [918] As Torn City's resident data wrangler, IceBlueFire often becomes overheated due to the heavy server loads running through his brain. As such, he must live inside an igloo, like this one, except bigger. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Federal Jail Key [919] Honourable people are often awarded the key to the city. Instead, Porny has been given the key to the federal jail, to commemorate his efforts in ridding Torn of dishonorable scumbags. Collectible $0 $0 $0 20
Halloween Basket : Spooky [920] This Spooky Halloween basket can be used to pilfer sweets, booze and energy drinks from your fellow citizens. It is made from 100% Vinyl Chloride, a carcinogen which is known to leech toxic chemicals into liquids and foodstuffs.

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 10,406
Michael Myers Mask '18 [921] Originally based on the face of William Shatner, this iconic mask was most famously worn by the villain of the Halloween movies, Michael Myers; a fictional murderer not to be confused with the real life guy who played Shrek. Clothing $0 $0 $0 250
Toast Jesus '18 [922] This piece of toast has been burnt in such a way that it seems to depict the face of the Son of God. What a glorious miracle! This year, rather than turkey, why not consume our Lord and Savioury Jesus Christ on Christmas Day instead? Collectible $0 $0 $0 50
Cheesus '18 [923] Forget Edam and Eve. They are nacho saviours. They will not boursin for you. But this Jesus-shaped Cheeto will. For this man is the Son of Gouda, Cheesus Christ. Camembert witness to his glorious legacy. Halloumi brie thy name. Collectible $0 $0 $0 52
Bottle of Christmas Spirit [924] This Bottle of Christmas Spirit is guaranteed to get you in the mood to tell your relatives what you really think of them. Replete with flavours of pine, candy and turkey, this booze will leave you feeling so full you'll barely suffer a hangover at all. Provides a very large nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 5 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $0 15,336
Scammer in the Slammer '18 [925] You've heard of Elf on the Shelf, well here comes Scammer in the Slammer! This 100% asbestos toy can be used to watch over your family and friends to prevent them from selling Snowboards as Skateboards and Vicodin for Xanax. Zachjuv, Perplex and Kapten beware, the Scammer in the Slammer is watching you! Collectible $0 $0 $0 50
Gronch Mask '18 [926] Say hello to everyone's favourite festive villain, The Gronch! Legally distinct from other similar looking children's characters, The Gronch hates Christmas so much he'll knife anyone wearing an Xmas sweater. And now you too can follow in his bloody snowprints, by sporting this definitely non-copyright infringing Gronch Mask! Clothing $0 $0 $0 50
Baseball Cap [927] Wear it forwards to keep your head cool, wear it backwards to be even cooler. Clothing $0 $0 $46 486,620
Bermudas [928] Some say these are named 'bermudas' because it's so easy to get lost in 'em. Clothing $0 $0 $33 423,317
Blouse [929] A lovely, flattering garment for warmer days. Clothing $0 $0 $28 574,367
Boob Tube [930] The best choice of clothing, if you want to spend all day hoisting something up. Clothing $0 $0 $94 451,847
Bush Hat [931] It's said the mere presence of this hat makes crocs flee on sight. Clothing $0 $0 $20,147 16,616
Camisole [932] This versatile undershirt can be worn on its own to add some flirty flavor. Clothing $0 $0 $32 379,737
Capri Pants [933] Having a great shin day? Show them off with these pants. Clothing $0 $0 $32 390,097
Cardigan [934] For days that are neither hot nor cold, or when you don't want people to look at your butt. Clothing $0 $0 $39 286,419
Cork Hat [935] If you turn your head really fast, maybe you'll make some awesome music! Warning: this injures the eyes. Clothing $0 $0 $160 317,898
Crop Top [936] For whatever reason, you might decide that everyone needs to intimately get to know your gut. Wear this. Clothing $0 $0 $4,871 39,238
Fisherman Hat [937] Also known as a sou'wester or a bucket hat, the fisherman's hat is identified by its wide brim, chin strap, water-resistant finish, and mild scenting of halibut. The brim helps to keep sun from the wearer's eyes, whereas the chin strap prevents the hat from blowing into the water during heavy ocean gales. The waxy, waterproof coating on this piece of headwear is essential, as it stops it from becoming waterlogged while at sea. The fishy smell is optional, but has the added benefit of keeping friends and lovers at bay. Clothing $0 $0 $8,805 28,505
Gym Shorts [938] You don't just have to wear these to the gym, you can wear them anywhere you want! Isn't that cool? Clothing $0 $0 $29 594,392
Halterneck [939] What, you're too good for sleeves? Clothing $0 $0 $38 259,913
Raincoat [940] Contrary to popular belief, this coat was invented to protect from rain, not create it. Clothing $0 $0 $11,097 27,998
Pantyhose [941] Wear this on your face for a stylish accessory to your robbery. Clothing $0 $0 $21 562,389
Pencil Skirt [942] Is it a pencil? Is it a skirt? It's actually neither. (Except it's a skirt.) Clothing $0 $0 $29 603,486
Peplum Top [943] This shirt was designed as a dress for people who still wanted to wear pants. Clothing $0 $0 $32 438,172
Polo Shirt [944] This casual sports shirt is sure to make people think you're a pretty cool guy. Clothing $0 $0 $35 512,354
Poncho [945] This stylish must-have is the perfect combination of airy and warm. Clothing $0 $0 $119,194 5,538
Puffer Vest [946] This handsome and authoritative vest is said to get people to respect your opinions 33% more. It also keeps your torso super warm! Clothing $0 $0 $44 479,327
Mackintosh [947] Legally, you are still supposed to wear clothes underneath this. But this is Torn, so you do you. Clothing $0 $0 $14,228 21,057
Shorts [948] Like pants, but less. Clothing $0 $0 $35 538,107
Skirt [949] It's like a lampshade for people. Clothing $0 $0 $39 437,154
Travel Socks [950] Keep your toes as warm and snuggly as your favourite handgun with these cozy travel socks. Clothing $0 $0 $31 325,290
Turtleneck [951] This garment provides a handy built-in escape from awkward conversations. Clothing $0 $0 $35 466,112
Yoga Pants [952] Wear these if you want to do yoga, or if you want to remind people that you have a butt. Clothing $0 $0 $35 365,596
Bronze Racing Trophy [953] This Bronze Racing Trophy is awarded to those who finish third in racing events. Finishing third is probably worse than finishing fourth, as not only did you not win, but you've been recognised for your failure to achieve even a runner-up spot. Collectible $0 $0 $0 12
Silver Racing Trophy [954] This Silver Racing Trophy is awarded to those who finish second in racing events. Having been so close to victory, this trophy is here to remind you of the glory you failed to achieve. May its presence forever haunt you. Collectible $0 $0 $0 12
Gold Racing Trophy [955] This Gold Racing Trophy is awarded to the winner of a Torn racing event. Ownership of this item marks you out as a true champion - unless you bought it, in which case you are quite possibly the biggest loser of all. Collectible $0 $0 $0 12
Blank DVDs [956] This spindle pack of 250 writable DVD-R DVDs are suitable for video and data applications, and compatible with a variety of different drives. Material $80 $45 $402 7,549,221
Blank DVDs : 50 [957] This spindle pack of 50 writable DVD-R DVDs are suitable for video and data applications, and compatible with a variety of different drives. Material $20 $10 $0 0
Chest Harness [958] If you can ever figure out how to get this thing on, you'll be the belle of the leather fetish ball. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,635
Choker [959] Despite its name, this flattering neck accessory is surprisingly comfortable. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,667
Fishnet Stockings [960] Aside from the occasional fish caught in them, this steamy alternative to pantyhose remains a fan favourite. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,712
Knee-high Boots [961] If you were to wear these and enter a 'highest boots' competition, you would only lose out to thigh-highs. Clothing $0 $0 $1,237,494 1,652
Lingerie [962] It's really just a fancy word for underoos. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,688
Mankini [963] Wear a mankini, but make sure you manscape first. Don't make me mansplain it to you. Clothing $0 $0 $0 223
Mini Skirt [964] The regular skirt's shorter, flirtier, smaller cousin. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,705
Nipple Tassels [965] Jump up and down so they go around and around and around and around! Clothing $0 $0 $0 465
Bowler Hat [966] Also known as a billycock, bob hat, bombin or derby, the Bowler Hat was once the preserve of city gentleman, being a key part of typical business attire until the 1970's. These days, Bowler Hats are exclusively worn by Dr Watson cosplayers and people going through a steampunk phase. Clothing $0 $0 $2,199,995 1,907
Fitted Shirt [967] Everyone looks good in a fitted white shirt. With extra tailoring applied around the chest and waist area, it will enable you to show off your pecks, bosoms or man-boobs in all their spectacular glory. Just don't spill gravy on it. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,748
Bow Tie [968] If you're attending a fancy dinner and want to look smart, or you want to dress like a 12-year-old chess prodigy whose parents pushed him so hard he is unable to form meaningful friendships in adulthood, the Bow Tie is the perfect accessory. This one is made from red silk, and should be paired with a red pocket square and a smug, condescending outlook toward your peers. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,850
Neck Tie [969] This red neck tie screams authority. The minute you sport this bad boy to the office everyone will stop to listen to you, even if you have nothing useful to say. Made from pure silk, this tie can also be used as an emergency bandana. Clothing $0 $0 $999,999 1,857
Waistcoat [970] Gray waistcoats are most commonly spotted at weddings and christenings, given that they serve no useful purpose other than to make you feel slightly warmer than you ought to be. This one comes with a decorative pocket, which tells others that you could have pockets if you wanted, but you have chosen a wiser path. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,856
Blazer [971] Blazers are a multipurpose item which can be worn by everyone from business bros and bridegrooms through to schoolboys and boat jerks. Team this dark gray blazer with a pair of blue jeans for that ultimate "poor guy cosplaying a rich guy" look. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,967
Suit Trousers [972] Unless you're one of those kilt-wearing berks who thinks they're Scottish because their uncle once visited Aberdeen, black suit trousers are the most formal form of legwear mankind has thus far invented. These particular trousers would work well for someone attending a job inteview, visiting a funeral, appearing in court, or dressing up as the guy from Hitman. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,886
Derby Shoes [973] Derby Shoes were once worn by hunters and sportsmen, but today they are suitable for occasions both formal and informal. The Derby is an open laced shoe, meaning the quarters are sewn on top of the vamp, which makes them easy to put on. If you neither know nor care what that means, you may be interested to learn that the Derby was invented for the 19th Century Earl of Derby, who was so fat he had trouble putting his regular shoes on. And if that isn't a legacy, I don't know what is. Clothing $0 $0 $2,500,000 1,781
Smoking Jacket [974] Smoking Jackets were designed in the 19th Century for men who wanted to enjoy tobacco without their clothes smelling absolutely rank. The most iconic colorway for a Smoking Jacket is Burgundy and Black, with silk or velvet the preferred material. Famous aficionados of the garment include Fred Astaire, Hugh Hefner, and 2006 Playmate of the Year Saddam Hussein. Clothing $0 $0 $0 456
Monocle [975] Consisting of a circular lens within a wire frame attached to a short string or chain, the Monocle is a piece of corrective eyewear used to enhance your vision in one single eye. With the advancements of modern optometry and the death of Patrick Moore, the monocle has now been rendered obsolete. Clothing $0 $0 $0 225
Bronze Microphone [976] Nobody remembers those who came in third place in any event ever, not even their families and friends. But this bronze microphone trophy will change that, given as it is to those who were deemed not good enough for second place in a Torn singing competition. Collectible $0 $0 $490,000,001 36
Silver Microphone [977] If you're second in the Olympic 100 metres this is often a temporary scenario, as you'll likely be bumped up to first ten years later when a random drug test eliminates the victor. We can't promise that will happen with Torn's singing competitions though, so you'll have to make do with this silver microphone trophy instead. Collectible $0 $0 $0 35
Gold Microphone [978] This ownership of this golden microphone trophy indicates that you have achieved one of two things; either you won a Torn singing competition due to your fantastic musical abilities, or you bought the trophy off the item market to pretend you've achieved something. Collectible $0 $0 $0 28
Paint Mask [979] Would you like to avoid huffing half a gallon of paint into your lungs while repainting the spare bedroom? Then this Paint Mask is the product for you, as its particulate cotton filters ensure your airways are free from both fumes and droplets. WARNING: Does not protect against airborne viruses.

Effect: Improves Graffiti crime exp & skill gains by 5%.
Enhancer $0 $0 $390,984 41,874
Ladder [980] Ladders were traditionally used to help people avoid snakes, but these days they have all sorts of uses; scaling a tree to retrieve a cat, peeping into your neighbor's bedroom window late at night to look at their cat, and gaining entry to the Ladder Owners Club of Torn. This ladder is made from flimsy aluminium and has been described as "a death trap" by online reviewers. Tool $0 $0 $1,329 156,753
Wire Cutters [981] The sharp steel blades of these industrial-sized wire cutters are capable of cutting cables up to 1cm thick. You can also cut cables that are not as thick as this, if you so desire. The one thing these cutters cannot be used to cut through is the ground-breaking crime drama The Wire. Tool $0 $0 $13,765 127,333
Ripped Jeans [982] These ripped jeans weren't ripped by a fashion brand to make them appear trendy and distressed. These jeans were ripped by life itself, therefore proving the wearer's commitment to "keeping it real". They are made out of 75% denim and 25% human angst. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,048
Bandit Mask [983] Ever wanted to commit a crime without the victims knowing your identity? You should probably buy something more substantial than this Bandit Mask, then, as it covers approximately one fifth of a regular-sized human face. Even Batman's cowl does more than that. Clothing $0 $0 $711,747 3,579
Bottle of Moonshine [984] Distilled in secret by illegal brewers, this moonshine is far more potent than regular alcohol. Sip slowly, or it'll knock more than your socks off. Provides a very large nerve increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases nerve by 5 and booster cooldown by 1 hour.
Alcohol $0 $0 $1,346,499 193,173
Can of Goose Juice [985] Gain the aggressive power of a goose in no time by sinking a can of this highly-concentrated energy drink.

Effect: Increases energy by 5 and booster cooldown by 2 hours.
Energy Drink $0 $0 $356,875 901,872
Can of Damp Valley [986] Infused with rare nutrients found only in the Damp Valley region of Torn, this energy drink will boost both your energy and blood pressure.

Effect: Increases energy by 10 and booster cooldown by 2 hours.
Energy Drink $0 $0 $825,411 734,276
Can of Crocozade [987] Packed full of glucose, sucrose, pentose and hexose, this super sugary energy drink has a real bite to it.

Effect: Increases energy by 15 and booster cooldown by 2 hours.
Energy Drink $0 $0 $1,269,619 640,569
Fur Coat [988] Animal rights protestors have labelled this fur coat the cruellest garment of Autumn Winter 2020. Made from 40% fox, 38% mink and 22% miscellaneous fur, this gorgeous coat would suit both a lady of elegance and a bloke in his mid-thirties who thinks he looks like Macklemore. Clothing $0 $0 $6,399,995 1,700
Fur Scarf [989] When you wear a fur scarf it tells others that you like animals too much to wear a full coat of their skin, but not so much that you wouldn't fashion them into an accessory. Constructed from a gorgeous blend of Chinchilla and Madagascan boy fur, this scarf is 100% vegan unfriendly. Clothing $0 $0 $500,000 1,724
Fur Hat [990] In Red Dead Redemption 2 you can construct many different types of fur hat out of a range of interesting animals, from grizzlies and wolves through to beavers and racoons. In Torn, you get just one, and it's made from cat hair. Clothing $0 $0 $900,000 1,749
Platform Shoes [991] Platform Shoes were popular with both men and women throughout history, and while today they are more commonly seen as a feminine item, discrete platform shoes are still worn by "short kings" to disguise their lack of vertical manhood. These dusky pink platforms come with a 100% money back guarantee that you'll sprain your ankle in them within the first 30 days. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,641
Silver Flats [992] These Silver Flats are notable for their lack of sole, whereas the music of Ed Sheeran is known for its distinct lack of soul. Made from a mixture of recycled trash and commercial adhesive, Ed Sheeran has sold over 150 million terrible records. This fact has nothing to do with these shoes, which are fine if you like that sort of thing. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,684
Crystal Bracelet [993] Crystal Bracelets are as gaudy as they are shiny. Constructed from reasonable quality silver by Francis Montana, Torn's resident jeweller, this bracelet is studded with white topaz crystals, which are said to improve the wearer's mental clarity - something which much of Torn's populace could benefit from greatly. Jewelry $0 $0 $0 832
Cocktail Ring [994] Cocktail Rings are also known as statement rings, given that they are chunky and feature a large, often fake gemstone in their settings. Quite what statement the wearer intends to make is down to you, but given the sheer size of this thing, you'd certainly make an impression if you punched someone in the temple with it. Jewelry $0 $0 $0 1,714
Sun Hat [995] The Sun Hat is a type of headwear defined by a large brim, with its purpose being to protect the head, neck and shoulders from the sun's rays. You will often find these hats being worn by people who live in Earth's equatorial regions, but they can also be spotted on the heads of English women who think they're posh just because their boyfriend won tickets to the races. Clothing $0 $0 $697,500 1,661
Square Sunglasses [996] Whether you're trying to hide an unsightly bruise or you're just damn sick of the sight of the sun, these Square Sunglasses will keep your peepers behind closed doors and then some! Made from low-grade plastic by a Vietnamese child, these glasses are guaranteed to shatter if you look at them the wrong way. Clothing $0 $0 $2,400,000 1,631
Statement Necklace [997] A necklace is a piece of jewellery worn around the neck. If you were born without a neck, you are prohibited from wearing a necklace. This statement necklace comes studded with rose quartz crystals, which supposedly promote healing, if you believe in all that s***e. Jewelry $0 $0 $0 823
Floral Dress [998] Girls love nothing more than flowers. Not oxygen, not their boyfriends, not even puppy dogs. That's why this Floral Dress is so popular among the fairer sex, given that it has been designed in a floral style. If it had been made with a print of severed horse heads, it wouldn't be nearly as popular. Clothing $0 $0 $429,414 1,651
Shrug [1001] The Shrug is a cropped, cardigan-like garment with short or long sleeves cut in one with the body, often made from knitted wool. This description was the first thing that came up when we googled Shrug. If you ask most people what a Shrug is, they will probably do something expressive with their shoulders. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,729
Eye Patch [1002] Contrary to popular belief, pirates did not wear eye patches because they had lost an eye in battle. Their true purpose was to hide the black eyes often inflicted upon pirates by their ocean bretheren. Relationships between men can often become violent, and this is never more true when you're stuck out at sea with nothing but salty water and rum for lubricant. Clothing $0 $0 $0 0
Halloween Basket : Creepy [1003] This Creepy Halloween basket has a joyous expression painted on the side, because we all know that the creepiest thing of all is someone who is happy. But you too will be happy, given that this creepy basket provides an extra 5% chance of gaining a treat!

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 5,000
Halloween Basket : Freaky [1004] The reason this basket is called Freaky is because we made it look like Lindsay Lohan in Freaky Friday. In real life, she has only two teeth in her mouth. And in Torn City, this basket provides you with two 5% bonuses to your treat collection chance. That's 10% in total, omg!

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 5,474
Halloween Basket : Frightful [1005] You know this basket is genuinely frightful because it has zigzags for a mouth. That's just pure science right there. And how's this for pure maths? You now get a 15% bonus to your treat collection chance when attacking! How frightfully nice of us.

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 4,921
Halloween Basket : Haunting [1006] This basket is more hillbilly than haunting, but I suppose that's quite apt. After all, what's more haunting than the image of a redneck sleeping with his sister? Him sleeping with his mother? Yes, I'll give you that. And we'll also give you an extra 20% in treat collection bonuses too.

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 4,978
Halloween Basket : Shocking [1007] This Halloween basket is shocking because we've written vile slurs all over the inside. There's ******, **** and even the S-word in there. I don't even know what the S-word is, but it sounds bad. This basket is now more shocking than Ricky Gervais- who isn't actually that shocking. But do you know what is? The 25% treat bonus this basket brings!

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 6,237
Halloween Basket : Terrifying [1008] If you want to be terrified just look at your bank balance! Oh my god I'm just slaying tonight. And you will be too with this Terrifying Halloween Basket, which provides its bearer with 30% in treat collection bonuses. Now you'll have more treats than ever, and you can stop selling your underwear online to pay your bills.

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 6,025
Halloween Basket : Horrifying [1009] This basket looks like it's in pain, and pain is quite horrifying, so I've heard. If you've never felt pain before, why not try stabbing yourself in the arm with a butter knife? Or, alternatively, stab someone else while holding this basket, because you'll get a 35% treat collection bonus if you do!

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 3,801
Halloween Basket : Petrifying [1010] What's the difference between petrified and horrified? We don't know, and nor do we care, so please don't Google it and tell us. Either way, this Petrifying Halloween Basket will give you a 40% extra chance of collecting a treat from someone. And that goes up to 100% if you ask them nicely.

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 3,617
Halloween Basket : Nightmarish [1011] This Basket contains your worst nightmares... and candy. Inside you'll find that animal you're scared of, your partner cheating on you with your father, and that time you called the teacher mom in front of the whole class. Oh, and you'll also find that this basket gives you an extra 45% chance of collecting treats!

Effect: Used to gather treats from others.
Special $0 $0 $0 1,859
Blood Bag : Irradiated [1012] A blood bag filled with irradiated blood. This glow-in-the-dark blood type is found in 100% of people who have just held their thumb up to judge the proximity of a mushroom cloud.

Effect: Causes low-level radiation sickness. Increases medical cooldown by 30 mins.
Medical $0 $0 $34,170 183,890
Jigsaw Mask '19 [1013] Billy the Puppet was used in the Saw films by evil antagonist John Kramer as a means of communicating with his test subjects. Why not wear this Billy mask the next time you're watching a naive young woman try to escape a reverse bear trap? Clothing $0 $0 $0 250
Reading Glasses [1014] Struggling to read that Report on Crime? These Reading Glasses will help restore your eyesight to that of a prepubescent child. And they come with the added bonus of making you look like a very old lady. Clothing $0 $0 $150,000 2,068
Chinos [1015] These lightweight cotton Chinos are perfect for the man who wants to make minimal impact in every room he walks into. Their dark beige color matches the aura of their wearer, and we guarantee that nobody will expect you to be funny or interesting while wearing them. Clothing $0 $0 $0 2,058
Collared Shawl [1016] The Collared Shawl is a timeless piece of knitwear which suits both the elderly and the elderly at heart. If you're lucky, you might find butterscotch candies stuck to the inside pocket. If you're unlucky, blood. Clothing $0 $0 $374,995 1,964
Pleated Skirt [1017] Traditionally the preserve of substitute teachers with scant regard for their appearance, the Pleated Skirt has made a comeback in recent years, and can now be seen on people who you'd easily describe as a potential 7/10. This particular skirt is made from Navy Blue flannel, which is exactly as sexy as it sounds - not very. Clothing $0 $0 $230,000 1,970
Flip Flops [1018] Flip Flops are commonly worn at the beach or on holiday, but those of an elderly persuasion are fond of wearing them with a pair of socks underneath. Pensioners probably do this due to the wretched state of their ancient feet, which makes you wonder why they don't just wear a pair of damn shoes instead. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,983
Bingo Visor [1019] This lurid green Bingo Visor is a must-have accessory for any self-respecting douchebag. Whereas they were once sported by old folk who wished to avoid the glare of the bingo hall's halogen lights, Bingo Visors are now often worn by young people at the beach, and that guy from that band called A. Remember them? No, nobody does. Clothing $0 $0 $3,000,000 499
Cover-ups [1020] Too cheap to afford a pair of prescription sunglasses? These cover-ups are an affordable alternative, as they are designed to sit on top of your regular spectacles and protect your peepers from the sun's harmful rays. However, while wearing them, you do run the risk of looking extremely frail, so bear that in mind. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,027
Sandals [1021] These leather strap Sandals are exactly what the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ might've worn if he lived today or indeed ever. And speaking of fictional tales, these particular Sandals were purchased in a job lot from the producers of the 2000 movie Gladiator, who used the money to purchase tranquilisers for Russell Crowe at the wrap party. Clothing $0 $0 $337,074 2,034
Golf Socks [1022] Constructed from a poly-cotton elastane blend, these Golf Socks are so durable that the only way you'll get a "hole in one" is through a game of Foot Russian Roulette. Clothing $0 $0 $18,494 13,678
Flat Cap [1023] Flat Caps have enjoyed a resurgence lately thanks to their appearance in Peaky Blinders, a crime series covering the exploits of the Shelby crime family whose members are stricken with a disease which forces them to walk in slow motion. Formed from a rounded cap with a short stiff brim, these flat caps are sadly bereft of blades, but you will certainly look sharp wearing one. Clothing $0 $0 $0 0
Slippers [1024] These neoprene foam Slippers were stolen in bulk from a fancy spa retreat just over the Torn border. Both comfortable and wipe clean, these foot gloves will prevent you stepping on broken glass as you make your way through the kitchen at midnight to grab yourself a beer. Clothing $0 $0 $0 262
Bathrobe [1025] There's nothing better than sinking into a fluffy white Bathrobe after a nice hot crack bath - which is a lot like a regular bath, except you smoke crack while in the tub. This particular robe is made from the purest white silk, and is modelled on one which Whitney Houston owned. Clothing $0 $0 $0 240
Party Hat '19 [1026] The design of this party hat is generic enough to be suitable for children's birthdays, office shindigs and festive ritual sacrifices. It must be worn at a jaunty angle to demonstrate the full force of your wackiness. Clothing $0 $0 $0 25,981
Badge : 15th Anniversary [1027] This badge celebrates Torn's 15th anniversary. It can be worn to advertise your age, IQ or frequent use of profanities. Clothing $0 $0 $1,524,999 25,983
Birthday Cupcake [1028] This looks delicious, and it's reasonably fresh too! Every part of it is edible, including the candle and the paper case... if you're a goat.

Effect: Increases happiness by 250 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $0 $2,178,651 37,267
Strippogram Voucher [1029] This strippogram voucher entitles the bearer to bestow the gift of a strippogram upon any other person in Torn City. It is a gift that is both classy and arousing in equal measure.

Effect: Increases a target's happiness by 2,500.
Special $0 $0 $17,374,498 16,236
Dong : Thomas [1030] Thomas is a daft little rascal who likes nothing more than chasing squirrels and eating out of garbage cans. But don't get him too excited, because Thomas suffers from severe breathing difficulties which will eventually kill him. Collectible $0 $0 $30,800,000 5,185
Dong : Greg [1031] Unlike the Taco Bell Chihuahua, Greg doesn't like Mexican food. In fact, he doesn't like Mexicans much either. Greg is extremely racist and suspicious of all foreigners. But he does love snuggles. Collectible $0 $0 $29,000,000 5,260
Dong : Effy [1032] Despite her prim and proper appearance, Effy is the very definition of a basic bitch. When she's not drinking a whole vat of cooking oil because it smells nice, she can be found chasing sticks down ravines and encroaching on the personal space of complete strangers. Collectible $0 $0 $30,166,667 5,201
Dong : Holly [1033] Holly is a mischievous old hound with a thoroughly evil soul. She often breaks out of her home and will lead small children and other dogs out into the middle of a busy road, at which point she will sit back and watch the carnage unfold. Collectible $0 $0 $39,000,000 5,119
Dong : Jeremy [1034] Jeremy loves to laugh, but he rarely does, as he is painfully aware of all the suffering going on in the world - something you can see for yourself by looking into his cold, sad eyes. Because of his perpetually morbid outlook, Jeremy is quite fond of chocolate. Collectible $0 $0 $39,000,000 5,323
Anniversary Present [1035] This box was given out on Torn's 15th anniversary. It contains roughly 15% of your daily ration of joy. Supply Pack $0 $0 $0 5,486
Greta Mask '19 [1036] As befits her status as an inspirational, teenage eco-warrior, this mask has been made from 100% non-recyclable, non-sustainable, highly carcinogenic plastics. How dare we! Clothing $0 $0 $0 250
Anatoly Mask '19 [1037] This lightly irradiated mask of Anatoly Dyatlov from Chernobyl is made from 3.6% graphite, which we found up on the roof, despite Anatoly insisting it definitely wasn't there. Its quality is not great, not terrible, and if you think you can taste metal while wearing this mask, then you're clearly in shock. Clothing $0 $0 $0 242
Santa Beard [1038] With this big jolly Santa beard strapped to your face, you'll almost have everything you need to impersonate Jolly Saint Nick at your local mall. All you need now is a big red suit, a gut which resembles that of a pregnant manatee, and the rosy red cheeks of someone who is quite clearly suffering from severe alcoholism. Clothing $0 $0 $0 999
Bag of Humbugs [1039] Bah, Humbug! So sayeth Scrooge McDuck in the 1983 movie Mickey's Christmas Carol. These delicious boiled sweets are flavored with peppermint. Provides a large happiness increase when consumed.

Effect: Increases happiness by 150 and booster cooldown by 30 minutes.
Candy $0 $40 $446,198 19,760
Christmas Cracker [1040] Without pain, there can be no joy. This Christmas Cracker item is the epitome of that sentiment, as when you try to pull it with someone else, only one of you will receive a lovely surprise.

Effect: When used on a target, provides gifts to one, and a 5% happiness decrease to the other.
Special $0 $0 $370,967 35,559
Special Snowflake [1041] This item is given to staff in recognition of the many special snowflakes they have to deal with on a daily basis. Delicate, frosty and prone to melting, Torn's players are just as unique as individual snowflakes, but distinctly less fun to catch on your tongue. Collectible $0 $0 $0 27
Concussion Grenade [1042] There are two ways to give someone concussion; punch them in the head repeatedly, or lob a Concussion Grenade at them. When your opponent is concussed, they may suffer problems with concentration, memory, balance and coordination.

Effect: Opponent becomes Concussed, decreasing Dexterity to 1/5th for 15-20 seconds.

The Concussion Grenade is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $0 $0 5,560
Paper Crown : Green [1043] This paper crown can be found inside a Christmas Cracker, along with a crap joke and an even worse gift. Made of a weird type of laminated tissue paper, these festive hats somehow make you feel like you're still wearing them hours after you've taken them off. Clothing $0 $0 $85,000 10,118
Paper Crown : Yellow [1044] This paper crown can be found inside a Christmas Cracker, along with a crap joke and an even worse gift. Made of a weird type of laminated tissue paper, these festive hats somehow make you feel like you're still wearing them hours after you've taken them off. Clothing $0 $0 $2 10,345
Paper Crown : Red [1045] This paper crown can be found inside a Christmas Cracker, along with a crap joke and an even worse gift. Made of a weird type of laminated tissue paper, these festive hats somehow make you feel like you're still wearing them hours after you've taken them off. Clothing $0 $0 $80,000 10,218
Paper Crown : Blue [1046] This paper crown can be found inside a Christmas Cracker, along with a crap joke and an even worse gift. Made of a weird type of laminated tissue paper, these festive hats somehow make you feel like you're still wearing them hours after you've taken them off. Clothing $0 $0 $2 10,157
Denim Shirt [1047] Denim Shirts give off a clear signal to everyone around you, and that signal is "I like jeans so much I want to wear them all over my body". This particular shirt is made from stretch denim, because let's face it, you haven't been looking after yourself lately. Clothing $0 $0 $117,775 3,324
Denim Vest [1048] When accompanied by a white t-shirt and a set of dog tags, a Denim Vest tells others that while you aren't someone to be messed with, there won't be many consequences if you do. This particular vest is made from denim that is raw and untreated, like your spirit, I guess. Clothing $0 $0 $115,414 3,168
Denim Jacket [1049] Denim Jackets work best when teamed with items that are not made of denim, lest you suffer the ignominy of being seen in double denim. There are many items not made of denim, including cotton t-shirts, woolen overcoats, and PVC onesies to name but a few. Clothing $0 $0 $117,087 3,179
Denim Jeans [1050] Jeans were invented by Steve Jeans in 1992, when a shortage of chinos meant that dads everywhere were rendered pantsless on Saturday afternoons. The denim fabric from which they are made was created in Europe in the 16th Century, which was also when colonialism really started to take off. Coincidence? Yes. Clothing $0 $0 $899,998 3,315
Denim Shoes [1051] If you're trying to build some sort of denim gimp suit, then you'll need this pair of Denim Hi-Tops to go with your Denim Jacket, Denim Vest, Denim Shirt, Denim Trousers and Denim Thong. These shoes are unsuitable for both men and women over the age of 32. Clothing $0 $0 $422,500 3,189
Denim Cap [1052] Denim Caps should be worn backwards for a "radical" effect, or front ways for an "I don't like the sun in my eyes" vibe. These caps can also be worn sideways at your own risk. Clothing $0 $0 $170,338 3,167
Bread Knife [1053] Whether you're looking to slice open an artisan sourdough or a rival's throat, the Bread Knife allows you to do so with consumate ease. The weapon of choice for Jimmy "Two-Shins", this serrated blade will lacerate your opponent and leave them bleeding long after you've slashed them.

The Bread Knife is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 94
Semtex [1054] Semtex is a general purpose plastic explosive which can be moulded into all kinds of amusing shapes, if the mood strikes. When fitted with a timer and a detonating cord, this material can be used to explode your target into tiny disappointed pieces.

The Semtex is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $0 $0 9
Poison Umbrella [1055] Considered the weapon of choice for Cold War assassins, this Poison Umbrella is capable of transferring a small poisonous pellet into your opponent. This particular umbrella is wielded by Fernando Maria Fernández, a.k.a. Fingers, and the ingredients in its poison are known only to him.

The Poison Umbrella is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 157
Millwall Brick [1056] The Millwall Brick is an improvised weapon consisting of a simple newspaper rolled up lengthways and folded in half to create a solid club-like edge at one end. It was invented by fans of Millwall Football Club as a way of smuggling a weapon into football grounds, but Arsenal supporters claim they almost invented it first.

The Millwall Brick is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 0
Gentleman Cache [1057] The Gentleman Cache is a Supply Pack which contains one item from a selection of refined, formal garments considered suitable attire for the opera, the racecourse, or the murder of a prostitute in 19th Century East London. Supply Pack $0 $0 $4,276,859 7,901
Gold Chain [1058] All that glitters is gold, but only shooting stars break the mold. You won't exactly break any molds in this 9 karat Gold Chain, but you will make yourself a target for muggers if you wear this on the streets. Jewelry $0 $0 $0 237
Snapback Hat [1059] This Snapback Hat comes without one of those douchey silver stickers attached to the brim. We removed it on your behalf, because what are you, twelve? Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,934
Saggy Pants [1060] The practice of wearing Saggy Pants is believed to have originated in the US prison system, where belts and braces are prohibited, and prison-issue items are often oversized. Outside of the clink, those who wear this style of trouser do so to show off how clean their underwear is. Clothing $0 $0 $6,532,495 933
Oversized Shirt [1061] It doesn't matter how fat or thin you are, this Oversized Shirt will always be two sizes too big for you. Made from a revolutionary fabric called Nylong, this shirt adapts to the wearer's physique and stretches without pressure, enabling you to look "proper street" from the moment you put it on. Clothing $0 $0 $197,501 1,824
Basketball Shirt [1062] The Torn City Basketball Team is known as The Shivs, and while they haven't played a match in fourteen years, their apparel is still popular among the city's youth. This vest is made from a high-tech breathable fabric known as Pit-Stahp, enabling you to emerge from even the most intense interrogation sweating less than Prince Andrew. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,842
Parachute Pants [1063] If you want to be noticed and / or beaten to a pulp, you could do no better than this pair of gold lamé Parachute Pants. Popularized by MC Hammer in the 1980s, parachute pants were originally made of nylon to allow the wearer to breakdance effectively. These are made from lamé, because who even breakdances anymore? Clothing $0 $0 $0 459
Tube Dress [1064] A Tube Dress is not a dress in a tube, it is simply a dress that is shaped like a tube - you know, like Pringles, except clothes. Made from viscose and elastine, this pink Tube Dress can be thrown on by women and crossdressers in a matter of seconds, which comes in handy if you need to exit your lover's bedroom window in a pinch. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,862
Gold Sneakers [1065] Jazz up an otherwise forgettable outfit with this pair of snazzy Gold Sneakers! Constructed from coated rubber and canvas, these Gold Sneakers will look like absolute s**t as soon as you scuff them just once, so treat them with care! Clothing $0 $0 $0 460
Shutter Shades [1066] Remember when Kanye West wore a pair of Shutter Shades in 2007? Like almost everything Yeezy creates, this style was stolen from a 1980's trend, but now you can bring them back in style by sporting a pair of these cheap plastic knock-offs. Clothing $0 $0 $0 948
Silver Hoodie [1067] If you've ever wanted to attract an increasing number of magpies to your body then this Silver Hoodie is exactly what you need. Made from cotton flocked with a mixture of PU and Mercury, this hoodie will leave you weak and trembling if you wear it for long enough. Clothing $0 $0 $1,033,328 1,858
Bucket Hat [1068] Popular among British festival-goers of the 1990's, the Bucket Hat is a piece of headwear made from thick canvas - three times as thick as Liam Gallagher, actually. This particular Bucket Hat comes in a shade known as Hot Salmon. Clothing $0 $0 $249,988 1,860
Puffer Jacket [1069] The Puffer Jacket, also known as the Down Jacket, was designed by Australian chemist George Finch for the 1922 Everest expedition. While his design was initially mocked, it eventually fell into favor due to its wind-resistance abilities, and the fact that it makes you look three times as big as you actually are. Clothing $0 $0 $2,108,333 1,879
Durag [1070] Durags, also known as do-rags or du-rags, consist of a simple cloth worn over the head and tied around the back. They are most commonly worn by people of colour who are in the process of developing wave, braided or dreadlocked hairstyles, but they can also be worn by white people who want to look like a weapons-grade bellend. Clothing $0 $0 $500,000 1,899
Onesie [1071] Onesies were once the sole preserve of newborn babies whose parents couldn't be bothered to dress them up properly. But today, the Onesie is now popular as a homewear item, or a streetwear item if you have abandoned the concept of shame. Clothing $0 $0 $0 228
Baseball Jacket [1072] In the United States, many citizens wear Baseball Jackets to excuse the fact that they are carrying a baseball bat around with them at the time. In Torn, such chicanery is unnecessary, so feel free to sport this retro polyester Baseball Jacket to disguise yourself as a yankee tourist instead. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,801
Braces [1073] If for some reason you're allergic to belts, then a pair of Braces does just as good a job at holding your trousers up instead. Of course, you wouldn't need either if you'd bought properly fitting trousers in the first place, but until you grow into them, these elasticated black braces will stop you looking like a gangsta rapper. Clothing $0 $0 $0 906
Panama Hat [1074] Panama Hats are lightweight, brimmed, and typically made of woven straw. They were originally an Ecuadorian invention, but Panama Hat sounds nicer than Ecuador Hat, so everyone just pretends that's where they came from. Clothing $0 $0 $700,000 1,875
Pipe [1075] Used to smoke loose tobacco, the Pipe is a dual-purpose item given that it also increases your ability to contemplate things by roughly 400%. Pipes are best smoked by a roaring fireplace in a room with lots of books in, and perhaps an ancient musket on the wall for good measure. Clothing $0 $0 $0 225
Shoulder Sweater [1076] In Torn City it is illegal for someone to board a boat without their sweater being tied over their shoulders. This Shoulder Sweater comes pre-tied to save you the trouble. Clothing $0 $0 $4,499,995 429
Sports Jacket [1077] Sports Jackets are so-called due to their historic use by men playing outdoor sports, such as shooting, hunting, and cricket. Unlike a blazer, the Sports Coat is made from a hardwearing fabric which enables it to be worn as a casual, everyday item. This one is made from light tweed, which sounds like Mike Tyson trying to describe the universal physical constant. Clothing $0 $0 $0 965
Old Wallet [1078] Inside this old, leather wallet you'll find a snapshot of someone else's life. Credit cards. Membership cards. A coupon for half off at Big Al's. Family photographs. An expired condom. Who knows, maybe you'll even find a wad of cash in this wallet, cash you could use to buy something useful, like a wallet. Supply Pack $0 $0 $11,890 987,278
Cardholder [1079] Cardholders are bought by people too rich to carry cash, but too poor to have their PA pay for their groceries. This particular cardholder might contain one of several types of cards you can steal but the most important thing is that it won't ruin your silhouette when you store it in your ass pocket. Supply Pack $0 $0 $7,161 1,108,233
Billfold [1080] A billfold is thinner and has fewer compartments than a wallet, but they can hold more cash than a stripper's g-string. The only problem with a billfold is having to deal with people who compliment your "fancy new wallet", as you'll have to correct them, to which they will reply "I don't care". Supply Pack $0 $0 $36,983 1,453,693
Coin Purse [1081] The Coin Purse is most popular among elderly women, who remain gloriously oblivious to its use as a slang term for testicles. Inside this Coin Purse you may find several coins of various denominations, which you are then free to insert into vending machines, gumball machines, or the Neverending Story coin-operated ride that's been outside your local 7-11 since 1984. Supply Pack $0 $0 $1,518 1,028,726
Zip Wallet [1082] Zip wallets are wallets for those who refuse to embrace chaos. If it is destiny that your driver's license should fall out of your wallet and end up in the hands of a methed-up sex criminal who tracks you down so he may consume your toenail clippings, then who are you to deny the will of the universe? This Zip Wallet may contain useful items, but it will not save you from your predetermined fate. Supply Pack $0 $0 $13,254 2,894,709
Clutch [1083] In 1832 famed biologist Henri Latrine discovered that women were deathly allergic to pockets, hence why it is illegal for ladies' clothing to possess hidden compartments to this day. The Clutch Bag was invented to enable the fairer sex to transport their various accoutrements without having to store them in their mouth. This Clutch Bag may contain anything from cash to make-up, through to old receipts and the number of a man who was both creepy and persistent. Supply Pack $0 $0 $16,202 1,187,133
Credit Card [1084] Credit Cards can be used to acquire a significant amount of debt in exchange for items you want but can't afford. They can also be used to cut up lines of cocaine, if Torn had any cocaine, which it doesn't... yet. Tool $0 $75 $160 15,522,882
Lipstick [1085] Lipstick is a cosmetic item made of oils, waxes, pigments and moisturizers used to apply color to the lips. The point of lipstick is to make your mouth more attractive to others, but the same effect can be achieved by stuffing it full of mashed potatoes and gravy. This particular lipstick is Flesh Wound Carmine #005. Other $0 $10 $29 1,299,477
Driver's License [1086] This Driver's License should be in the wallet of its owner rather than your hand. But given that it is not, you may as well use it to take out a bank loan, adopt a child, or get married in someone else's name. Other $0 $5,000 $4,860 6,575,808
Tampon [1087] Tampons are a feminine hygiene product used to absorb the menstrual flow during a woman's period. They can also be filled with vodka and used to imbibe alcohol at a party through non-oral means, although this will probably kill you. Other $0 $5 $1,913 2,549,506
Receipt [1088] Judging by this receipt, it appears that someone is in for a great night by themselves, given that it lists the purchase of a cucumber, ten trash bags, some duct tape, a family-sized jar of mayonnaise, and the Muppet Christmas Carol blu-ray. Other $0 $0 $78 8,983,305
Family Photo [1089] This photo appears to have captured a precious, intimate moment between a loving family during a day at the beach. But for all we know, this may have been the last time they were seen alive, as their psychotic father dragged them kicking and screaming into the sea in a four-way death pact. Either way, it's beautifully composed. Other $0 $1 $824 294,858
Lint [1090] Lint is a mixture of textile fibers, human hair, skin cells, animal fur, dust and microorganisms which can often be found at the bottom of your dryer, in your pockets or inside your belly button. Eat it, you might like it. Other $0 $0 $25,000,006 193
Handcuffs [1091] Beloved by law enforcement and kinky lovers alike, these steel Handcuffs are capable of fixing a person's hands behind their back or to the bedframe until such time as they are released. Other $0 $45 $24,876 71,501
Lubricant [1092] A silicone based lube with a full body and undertones of rich orchard fruits. Perfect for smearing on your loved one before committing acts that would disappoint your mother. Other $0 $15 $519 387,479
Hit Contract [1093] Inside this envelope is the name of a dangerous, wanted criminal, along with a contract for their "termination". The envelope itself is quite nice, so you might want to save it for when you start eBaying all the crap in your spare room. Other $0 $0 $11,237 355,144
Syringe [1094] This unused 5ml syringe could be used to inject yourself with all manner of intoxicating substances. Or, if you're thrifty, you might use it to refill an off-brand printer cartridge and save yourself some dough. Just make sure you don't get confused and overdose on Magenta. Other $0 $2 $68 1,631,467
Spoon [1095] The bowl of this spoon is suspiciously charred. This leads you to believe that someone has been using it to heat cold soup while holding it over the stove. Other $0 $3 $2,425 273,583
Cell Phone [1096] Known as the most durable mobile phone of all time, the Italian-made Gnocchia 3310 should really be classed as a melee weapon, given that one single blow with this object is capable of turning someone's face into a concave structure. Other $0 $125 $125 2,282,331
Assless Chaps [1097] Traditonally, a set of chaps consists of a pair of leggings and a belt, often made of leather, which are worn over trousers to protect the wearer's legs while on horseback. Chaps do not typically cover your crotch or buttocks, but this pair has been designed with a front pouch, which hints that they are to be worn over bare naked flesh. Assless they may be, but you'll have no trouble tapping dat in a pair of these bad boys. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,640
Opera Gloves [1098] Once the preserve of high society dames and regality, Opera Gloves are now worn by slags and wannabe starlets everywhere. The long, slender design of these stylish gloves make even the roughest broad feel like she's having Breakfast At Tiffany's when she's snarfing down an Egg McMuffin in Maccies at half nine in the morning. Clothing $0 $0 $0 872
Booty Shorts [1099] Not everyone can pull off a pair of Booty Shorts, especially if it's a hot day and they've stuck to the inside of your ass-flaps. These leopard-print crack-snugglers are perfect for those whose friends have no imagination, because they leave absolutely nothing to it. There's no need to upload pictures of your food to Instagram while wearing Booty Shorts this tight, because everyone can see what you had for dinner. Clothing $0 $0 $297,000 1,759
Collar [1100] When people see you wearing a collar they are liable to suppose one of two things. Either you're a goth, or you're under the influence of a 40-something online dom who has convinced you you're his sex slave to mask the fact he doesn't know how to please a woman. You were hoping to meet your very own Christian Grey, but he's more of a Christopher Beige. Clothing $0 $0 $0 437
Ball Gag [1101] The Ball Gag is the perfect gift for a lover who refuses to stop making weird noises at the point of orgasm. Consisting of a hardy leather strap and a rubber ball fixed together with steel clasps, this item can also be used to recreate the gimp scene from Pulp Fiction, if you're into that sort of thing. Clothing $0 $0 $0 197
Blindfold [1102] This blindfold is made from soft, black silk, and is capable of obstructing the wearer's vision even in the presence of daylight. Blindfolds can be great fun in the bedroom if you like a little mystery in your sex life. They also come in handy if your partner hasn't aged well, or has recently undergone reconstructive surgery after a particularly nasty car accident. Clothing $0 $0 $0 866
Maid Uniform [1103] French Maid Uniforms are one of the most popular types of sexy outfit, alongside schoolgirl, secretary, nurse, and 14th Century Brigandine. This particular Maid Uniform is made from cheap polyester and cotton lace, and will no doubt fall apart during a vigorous polishing of the ornaments. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,702
Maid Hat [1104] No Maid Uniform is complete without a dainty little Maid Hat to top it off. This "hat" may be no more than a strip of starched lace glued to a simple headband, but from the instant you wear it, you'll feel as if you're in the bedchambers of an old French aristocrat whose bedpan needs to be emptied forthwith. Clothing $0 $0 $899,996 1,682
Ball Gown [1105] This floor-length Ball Gown is so elegant it could make a princess out of a pig. Hewn from luxurious chiffon in a shade of purple known as Deluge, the way this dress exposes the full glory of your décolletage means you'll be deluged with suitors before you've had time to wonder why your drink tastes sleepy. Clothing $0 $0 $0 439
Fascinator Hat [1106] The Fascinator Hat was invented in the 17th Century, and originally consisted of a lacey scarf wrapped around a woman's head with the aim of drawing attention and invoking an air of mystery. These days, the term Fascinator is used to describe any overly elaborate hat worn at a stupid angle to a wedding or a racecourse, with the only mystery being "Why the hell are you wearing that?" Clothing $0 $0 $0 423
Wedding Dress [1107] Wedding dresses are like Crocs; it's tragic if you wear them more than once in your life. This particular Wedding Dress is an off-the-rack number made from white satin, meaning you could spill a White Russian all over it and nobody would notice. Clothing $0 $0 $0 220
Wedding Veil [1108] Wedding veils were originally worn to protect the Bride from evil and impurity, because apparently a thin layer of net fabric can repel such things. In Torn, a veil is worn to protect the wedding congregation from Bridal saliva, as the women here are neither good nor pure, and are prone to spitting to get their own way. Clothing $0 $0 $0 219
Head Scarf [1109] The favored headwear for terminally ill patients and white women returning from a gap year in India, the headscarf is a versatile piece of clothing well-suited to various climates - except wind or rain. This headscarf is made from a piece of floral fabric, and would not look out of place on the head of an 84-year-old woman whose husband recently passed away. Clothing $0 $0 $0 997
Nightgown [1110] The only thing better than wearing a silk nightgown to bed is dying in your sleep - peacefully, of course. Contemporary nightgowns are mostly worn by women, but can also be worn by men awaiting a visit by three judgemental spirits in the dead of night. This particular nightgown has a buttoned-up access panel about the rear for the release of nightly discharge. Clothing $0 $0 $0 499
Pullover [1111] This tight-fitting, woolen pullover comes in a unique shade of brown rarely seen outside of a sewage sluice. Soft to the touch and hard-wearing, this sweater is very much a one-off, in that as soon as you put one on, you'll want to take it off. Clothing $0 $0 $184,993 2,043
Elegant Cache [1112] Coco Chanel once said that elegance is when the inside is as beautiful as the outside, but she was a Nazi agent, so who cares what she thinks. Upon opening, this Elegant Cache will bestow upon you an item of such luxury that you will be immediately marked out as someone worth mugging. Supply Pack $0 $0 $4,131,852 7,997
Naughty Cache [1113] The Naughty Cache is the kind of item you keep at the back of the wardrobe away from the children and your mother-in-law. Inside this crate you will find a single item that will transform your sex life. It could be a blindfold to increase suspense, a maid uniform for role-play, or a garden gnome butt-plug eight inches in diameter. Whatever's inside, please wash it before use. Supply Pack $0 $0 $10,633,332 7,921
Elderly Cache [1114] Due to the unattractive nature of their withered physique, the elderly are required by law to wear as many clothes as possible so as not to put people off their dinner. This Elderly Cache contains an item of clothing suited to those of a wrinkled disposition, with most pieces coming in a shade known as forgettable mauve. Supply Pack $0 $0 $2,067,592 8,153
Denim Cache [1115] Double denim is for losers. Triple denim is for pussies. But sextuple denim is for jeaniuses. This Denim Cache will provide you with one of six possible denim items. Collect them all to fulfil your destiny and become a denim deity. Supply Pack $0 $0 $960,789 8,797
Wannabe Cache [1116] It doesn't matter if you're pretty fly for a white guy or a bit of a prick for an asian chick, this Wannabe Cache will have you dressing like an absolute banker in the time it takes to say gunter glieben glauten globen. Snapbacks, Shutter Shades, Saggy Pants and the rest await you inside this treasure trove of trends for try-hards. Supply Pack $0 $0 $4,119,168 7,922
Cutesy Cache [1117] The colorful clothes and accessories in this Cutesy Cache wouldn't look out of place on a nine-year-old girl. These days, you're more likely to see them on a woman in her mid-thirties who still describes herself as a dweemgurl pwincess. Supply Pack $0 $0 $3,932,983 8,199
Armor Cache [1118] Pretty armor does not make a warrior, but it will keep the blood inside your body while you wait for your mates to turn up. This Armor Cache will provide you with one piece of armor. We make no promises that it will stop you from being killed to death. Supply Pack $0 $0 $359,823,526 673
Melee Cache [1119] This Melee Cache contains a melee weapon, which you can use to harm other human beings in a melee, fracas, scuffle, or kerfuffle at your leisure. You may not use melee weapons to harm animals, because that's mean. Supply Pack $0 $0 $197,295,423 559
Small Arms Cache [1120] Despite its name implying otherwise, the Small Arms Cache cannot be opened by a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Upon opening this crate, you will receive a small, lightweight firearm that you can use to cause injury and / or death to your opponents and / or lover. Supply Pack $0 $0 $148,552,221 630
Medium Arms Cache [1121] Medium Arms are defined as being neither Small Arms nor Heavy Arms, but something in between. This Medium Arms cache therefore contains armaments that are not light enough to be stuffed in your waistband, but nor must they be mounted on a tripod. Don't blame me if this description doesn't make sense. Open it up and see for yourself if you care that much. Supply Pack $0 $0 $244,364,309 733
Heavy Arms Cache [1122] The Heavy Arms cache is where you will find big f***ing weapons to put down big f***ing people. If you feel like you have heavy arms then you may be suffering from a severe nerve disorder, but if you want heavy arms, open this damn crate. Supply Pack $0 $0 $402,183,331 107
Spy Camera [1123] Ever wanted to know what your uncle does in the shed late at night? Install this Spy Camera in a discrete location and find out why he's on an FBI watchlist. This Spy Camera is made in China, so everything it records will appear as if it had been filmed through a potato. Tool $130 $80 $617 4,828,599
Cloning Device [1124] In the year 2045 you will be able to clone perfect replicas of yourself which you can use to do your bidding, your spouse, and your laundry. Until then, you'll have to make do with this Card Cloning Device, which takes mere seconds to lift the data off someone's credit card once it's been swiped through. Other $0 $0 $0 0
Card Skimmer [1125] A Card Skimmer jammed into an ATM can record the details of hundreds of individual credit cards every hour. The best place to mount these is outside a place where people withdraw cash in a hurry, such as a strip club, or a KFC whose card machine is always busted. Tool $175 $0 $810 17,065,554
Tutu [1126] The Tutu was named after its inventor, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who wore the garment to public rallies in the 1980's to distract white South Africans from the fact he was helping to dismantle apartheid. This Tutu is made from pink gauze and will rise up when the wearer pirouettes, or stands over a leafblower. Clothing $0 $0 $0 946
Knee Socks [1127] Knee Socks imply that the wearer is somewhat playful, or that they have really ugly shins. These pink cotton Knee Socks stop just below the thigh on a regular-sized person, but could probably be used as a sleeping bag by those of restricted height, such as Oompa Loompas, or Tyrion Lannister. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,839
Kitty Shoes [1128] These red leather Kitty Shoes are perfect for anyone who loves the color red, and who likes cats. They are wholly unsuitable for someone who prefers purple and is obsessed with narwhals. Clothing $0 $0 $7,500,000 543
Cat Ears [1129] These Cat Ears won't make you look like a cat, but they will make you look like you have the ears of a cat. To complete the full cat look you'd need whiskers, a tail, and a spine flexible enough that you can reach your posterior with your tongue. Clothing $0 $0 $1,593,149 1,836
Bunny Ears [1130] Myxomatosis is a severely painful disease in rabbits which attacks their skin, eyes, lungs, and genitals. Remember that the next time you appropriate their culture by wearing these Bunny Ears. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,838
Puppy Ears [1131] If you want a headband which comes with the ears of a full-sized dog attached then you are shit out of luck my friend. But if you're after some realistic-looking Puppy Ears, then why not buy a pair of these Puppy Ears? They look like real Puppy Ears. PUPPY EARS! Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,831
Heart Sunglasses [1132] If you're an Elton John cosplayer or simply wish to hide the hate behind your sunken eyes, these Heart Sunglasses will do the job. Obviously the hearts which these glasses depict do not in any way resemble real human hearts. But legend has it that if you fly to South Africa on a Tuesday, you can pick up pair of surprisingly realistic liver aviators. Clothing $0 $0 $0 227
Hair Bow [1133] A Hair Bow may look cute, but they also serve as a signal to others that your hair is a gift to them. When wearing a Hair Bow you must therefore be vigilant, and avoid accessorizing with matching gift tag earrings, lest you be scalped by a confused onlooker. Clothing $0 $0 $350,000 1,883
Lolita Dress [1134] The term Lolita means a sexually precocious young girl. To avoid Torn being shut down and raided by the police, we're going to end this description right here. Clothing $0 $0 $0 854
Unicorn Horn [1135] Many people believe that Unicorns possessed a single large horn in the centre of their head, however, recent paleontological evidence suggests they actually had one giant tentacle there instead. But don't let that stop you perpetuating the Unicorn horn myth with this brightly colored plastic Unicorn Horn, which you can also wear around your waist as a Merman's penis. Clothing $0 $0 $0 251
Check Skirt [1136] This red checkered cotton skirt resembles the type worn as part of a uniform by British schoolgirls - and the occasional schoolboy, if he was feeling adventurous. Clothing $0 $0 $190,250 1,787
Polka Dot Dress [1137] Red Polka Dot dresses are closely associated with the 1950's, and wearing one implies that you love everything about this decade, including racism, the Cold War, and the mass coverup of the harmful effects of smoking by international tobacco companies. Who knew that wearing a little old dress meant so much! Clothing $0 $0 $0 440
Ballet Shoes [1138] Ballet Shoes are shoes you wear for performing ballet, not while attending a ballet. You could wear ballet shoes while attending a ballet, but people will be confused and think you are performing in the ballet, when really you are just attending a ballet in ballet shoes. If you do decide to wear ballet shoes to a ballet in which you are not performing, simply because you like to wear ballet shoes, you'd have to explain to multiple people that you weren't performing in the ballet, you were simply attending a ballet in ballet shoes, and that could be quite long-winded. Clothing $0 $0 $250,000 1,804
Dungarees [1139] Dungarees are jeans with ideas above their station. Pair them with a banjo and a gap-toothed smile for that timeless hillbilly look. Alternatively, if you're bald, add a pacifier for that cute "I'm a giant baby" aesthetic. In America, dungarees are known as overalls, but not in Torn. Overall, the term overall doesn't make overall sense, given that this slutty combination of jean shorts and a denim vest does not cover over all of your body. Clothing $0 $0 $90,000 1,793
Tights [1140] Tights were invented in 1965 by the famous bankrobber Ian Tights, who wished to obscure his appearance while performing criminal acts. In the 1980's, women found a new use for tights as a leg covering, with these thin, nylon garments helping to hide the fact that they hadn't shaved their trouser-arms due to feminism. Today, men and women of all ages enjoy wearing tights, thanks to a resurgence in their popularity caused by the 1993 documentary Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,863
Pennywise Mask '20 [1141] Inspire tasty tasty beautiful fear in the heart of your enemy with this mask of Pennywise the Clown, the horrifying antagonist of Stephen King’s 1986 novel IT. This mask is perfect attire for those who inhabit the sewers, because we all float down here. We all float. Disclaimer: You may not actually float. Clothing $0 $0 $0 250
Tiger King Mask '20 [1142] Joe Exotic will be forever remembered as the face that got us through the early days of the Coronavirus lockdown, and now you can wear that face by sporting this iconic Tiger King Mask. Feel free to wear it as you mistreat tigers, flirt with an 18-year-old toothless hillbilly, or as you're murdering that b***h Carole Baskin. Clothing $0 $0 $0 250
Disposable Mask [1143] Demonstrate to the world what a kind, considerate, and courteous citizen you are by proudly wearing this Disposable Mask over your mouth and nose. Wearing a face covering marks you out as a pillar of society, and lets others know that you are willing to temporarily breathe in some of your own breath to avoid killing your grandmother.

Effect: Used in the disposal of biological waste.
Clothing $0 $0 $52 3,720,339
Chin Diaper [1144] If you’re the kind of person who likes to “stick it to the man” by refusing to wear a face mask, then show your disapproval towards the experts with their fancy book-learning by sporting this fashionable Chin Diaper beneath your stupid face. Asthmatics, pregnant women, and the elderly will all be at risk around you, but you don’t care about that, because, uhhhhh, freedumb? Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,972
Tighty Whities [1145] A pair of snug, white underpants are 100% guaranteed to show off your thunderous man-bulge in all its magnificent glory. Made from breathable cotton, your meat and two veg will be safe, secure, and sweat-free in these naughty little boy-briefs. Clothing $0 $0 $0 7,030
Tangerine [1146] Tangerines are smaller and sweeter than oranges, but larger and less delicious than M&Ms. These fruits were traditionally placed into people’s stockings at Christmas to symbolize the nuggets of gold handed out by St Nicholas, but these days, they are more commonly given to children who don’t deserve proper presents because they’ve been utter bastards all year. Other $0 $0 $87,493 27,138
Helmet of Justice [1147] The Helmet of Justice marks out the wearer as a paradigm of honor and integrity, and is bestowed only upon those deemed virtuous enough to have earned S.T.A.F.F. status. Vanquisher of trolls, hunter of multis, solver of minor administrative woes, S.T.A.F.F. are crucial to the smooth running of Torn City, and this piece of iconic headwear sends a simple, yet effective message to those who would wreak havoc upon the innocent: Staff Are Law. Collectible $0 $0 $0 37
Broken Bauble [1148] Pre-broken for your convenience, this Christmas bauble can be deployed in and around the home wherever bare feet are likely to tread. Made from ultra-brittle plastic, the razor-sharp shards of the broken bauble are guaranteed to pierce the skin of even the most calloused foot when stepped upon. More painful than a Lego Brick, and less noticable than a bear trap, why not recreate one of the most famous scenes from Home Alone this Christmas by decorating your living room carpet with this delightfully agonising accessory. Other $0 $0 $58,995 13,533
Purple Easter Egg [1149] Greetings, operative. I shall waste no time. We have a mutual goal. You wish to earn more mission credits, it is my purpose to facilitate that. I have no need for your friendship, merely your cooperation. Understood? Don't bother answering that. I know I made myself perfectly clear.

Effect: Increases current mission credit balance by 25% and booster cooldown by 6 hours.
Booster $0 $0 $0 9,803
Ski Mask [1150] You’ll look like the cutest lil terrorist in the world wearing this dusky pink ski mask! Originally owned by the Easter Bunny, this rosy-colored balaclava allows you to stand out while simultaneously obscuring your identity, thus ensuring that your adorable wickle crimes are never traced back to you. Clothing $0 $0 $0 257
Bunny Nose [1151] Whether you’re a committed cosplayer or you just like wandering around the city in a rabbit costume, this realistic-looking bunny nose is an essential addition to your creepy creature costume box. Jessica Rabbit may have had a spectacular ass, but she never had teeth like these. Ears and ass sold separately. Clothing $0 $0 $0 119
SMAW Launcher [1152] The Shoulder-Launched Multipurpose Assault Weapon is a versatile rocket launcher capable of reducing vehicles and infrastructure to a smoldering wreck. This weapon is effective against armored units at a range of half a kilometer - just make sure nobody you love is standing behind you when you fire, as the SMAW’s backblast is lethal up to a hundred feet away.

The SMAW Launcher is a Heavy artillery type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $0 $343,828,979 288
China Lake [1153] The one thing you don’t want to see when scouring your enemy’s loadout is the term “Pump-Action Grenade Launcher”. These Vietnam-era weapons mimic the arc of a hand-thrown grenade, allowing the bearer to launch several explosive rounds towards their target in quick succession.

The China Lake is a Heavy artillery type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $0 $200,641,412 324
Milkor MGL [1154] Despite their common use by modern anti-riot police as a means of deploying baton rounds and gas grenades against protestors, the Milkor Multiple Grenade Launcher was primarily intended as a lethal addition to shorthanded military units. The Milkor is the lovechild of a revolver and a traditional grenade launcher, with its six-shot cylinder magazine bestowing the user with a ridiculously high rate of fire for such a devastating weapon.

The Milkor MGL is a Heavy artillery type of weapon.
Secondary $0 $0 $206,057,207 316
PKM [1155] If you’re looking for a reliable front-line weapon with which to eviscerate enemy infantry, you could do no better than the PKM belt-fed machine gun. This modernized variant of the original PK was devised by famed Soviet military engineer and arms designer Mikhael Kalashnikov, and the fact that it is still used today by the Russian armed forces is a testament to its efficacy and reliability.

The PKM is a Machine gun type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $184,159,160 292
Negev NG-5 [1156] Also known as the IWI Negev, the NG-5 is an Israeli light machine gun designed to be reliable in the most adverse conditions imaginable. The weapon’s predecessor, the Galil, had a propensity to overheat in desert settings, but the NG-5 has no such issues thanks to the addition of an adjustable gas regulator which allows for different rates of fire depending on the environment.

The Negev NG-5 is a Machine gun type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 310
Stoner 96 [1157] The Stoner 96 light machine gun was the final project of renowned American gun designer Eugene Stoner before his death in 1997. Created as a refinement of the Stoner 86 model, the 96 design enjoys lower recoil than its predecessor due to its use of a stock buffer and its ability to fire with an open bolt. These modifications mean that the 96 Stoner is shorter and lighter than the 86 at the expense of a reduced fire rate.

The Stoner 96 is a Machine gun type of weapon.
Primary $0 $0 $0 373
Meat Hook [1158] Meat Hooks are typically used by butchers to suspend animal carcasses while they are prepared for sale. However, these sharp metal objects can also be employed earlier in the butchering process if you wish to insert holes and slashes into flesh before its owner has expired.

The Meat Hook is a Piercing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 3,567
Cleaver [1159] The Cleaver is a hatchet-shaped knife that is more than capable of hacking through tough flesh and bone, whether it be bovine, porcine, or your ex-lover Caroline. For those of a plant-persuasion, the Cleaver can be used to slice, dice, and mash up a lovely little eggplant.

The Cleaver is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $0 $0 3,627
Arca Fortunae [1176] The Arca Fortunae is a decorative object said to contain the greatest desires of those who come to possess it. It is unknown where this object comes from, nor where its power is drawn, but it appears to be something the beast M'aol is willing to protect with his life. Once its contents are removed, the Arca Fortunae vanishes entirely, only to reappear once more upon the slaughter of M'aol's latest form. Supply Pack $0 $0 $0 0
Sandworm Mask '21 [1177] In Frank Herbert's Dune, the planet Arrakis is home to a race of giant sandworms called the Shai-Hulud. Sadly, Denis Villeneuve's Dune movie contains only one large worm whose individual name is unknown. The video game series Worms contains a potentially infinite number of worms, each of which you can call whatever you like. We must therefore conclude that Worms is better than the new Dune movie, and to celebrate this fact, here is a mask of our favorite worm from Worms, Spicy Alan. Clothing $0 $0 $0 249
Party Popper [1178] Party Poppers form an essential part of the Christmas dining experience, as no meal is complete without having to pick ribbons of gravy-soaked tissue off your dinner plate. Each Party Popper contains roughly 0.016g of explosive material, meaning you would need 12,000 of these to make your own yuletide grenade. Alternatively, you could just equip one of these as a temporary weapon and fire it at your opponent's face, as doing so will drape them in pretty little streamers. How cute!

Effect: Opponent becomes Festive, decreasing melancholy to 1/5th for 24 hours.

The Party Popper is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $3 $312,500 28,269
Eye Bleach [1179] In their role as the city's moderators, Torn's staff are forced to bear witness to indescribable horrors on a daily basis. From erotic chats and casual racism through to unpixelated nudes and long-winded complaint essays, staff wade through it all to keep our city clean of perverts, prejudice, and pontificating pillocks. To maintain their mental stability, Torn's staff are supplied with one bottle of Eye Bleach, each of which contains a soothing shot of sodium hypochlorite that must be squirted directly onto the cornea to take full effect.

Effect: Decreases staff anguish by 12% over 200 minutes. Includes side effects (blindness).
Special $0 $0 $0 33
Prince Philip Mask '21 [1180] HRH Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, was born Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark in 1921. Phil died nearly 100 years later in April 2021, and during his Royal Highness' lifetime he achieved many great things, such as fighting in World War 2, marrying a princess who was also kinda his cousin, being worshipped as a god by a Vanuatan tribe, bestowing certificates upon British schoolchildren for trivial feats of endurance, offending numerous foreign dignitaries, and seeing Queen Elizabeth II naked. This is a mask of Prince Philip's living face - although you wouldn't know to look at it. Clothing $0 $0 $0 250
Krampus Mask '21 [1181] The Krampus is a mythical figure taken from European folklore whose purpose was to scare the ever-loving hell out of misbehaving children during Christmas. Krampus' name comes from the German word krampen, meaning claw, as he is typically depicted as a dark, hairy beast with sharp talons, cloven hooves, and the horns of a goat. In some versions of his origin story, Krampus is said to be the brother of Saint Nicholas, and if this tale is ever told by Hollywood, the role of Krampus will likely be played by Harry Styles. Clothing $0 $0 $0 249
Head Bandage [1182] The sight of someone's head covered entirely in gauze used to conjure up images of a brave hero burned beyond all recognition, perhaps after risking their life to save a child from a house fire. These days, someone sporting a bandage niqab is probably hiding the results of an eyelid lift or a half-assed nose job. Whatever is wrong with your face, this full head bandage will keep your features under wraps. Clothing $0 $0 $4,933,328 967
Medical Eye Patch [1183] A soft, breathable cotton patch taped over the eye to prevent infection. Whether you're suffering from a serious case of pink eye or you've tried to remove your contact lens with dirty fingernails, this medical eye patch will protect your peeper until mummy has kissed it better. Clothing $0 $0 $2,000,000 918
Knee Brace [1184] A knee brace works by shifting your weight from the most damaged part of the knee, allowing the wearer to walk more comfortably without pain. In the UK, it is estimated that the average 5-a-side football player will own fourteen knee braces by the time he is 38, and will spend roughly 1/8th of his remaining lifespan talking about his knees "giving him jip". Clothing $0 $0 $829,994 995
Band-Aids [1185] Like Hoover, Velcro, Mayonnaise, and Tupperware, the term Band-Aid is actually a brand name used by Johnson & Johnson for their range of adhesive bandages first released in 1920. Band-Aids have been subject to controversy in recent years as they're often only available in a light caucasian skin color, with non-white people enduring accusations of "whiteface" every time they want to cover up a boo-boo. To avoid a race row, these particular Band-Aids are only available in bright white to reinforce the racial superiority of snowmen and albinos. Clothing $0 $0 $0 464
Torso Bandage [1186] The torso, or trunk, describes the area above the ass but below the neck minus your legs and arms. When a bandage covers this area, it means the wearer has either undergone major organ surgery, or they've treated themselves to a lovely set of E-cups. This particular Torso Bandage has been pre-bloodied for your convenience. Clothing $0 $0 $0 962
Prosthetic Arm [1187] For those shorn of an upper limb, this carbon fiber Prosthetic Arm allows the wearer to maintain the appearance of being able to do the Macarena without providing them with the ability to do so. And while this false arm may be entirely non-functional, wearing one does mean you finally have a use for all those spare gloves. Clothing $0 $0 $0 253
Prosthetic Leg [1188] Prosthetic Legs are built more for function than aesthetics, with this titanium model capable of restoring full walking and kicking ability to its mono-legged user. Side effects of wearing Prosthetic Legs include contact dermatitis, blisters, and a propensity for shooting people on the john. Clothing $0 $0 $36,999,999 243
Formaldehyde [1189] Formaldehyde is a compound term derived from the word formal, as in fancy, and de-hyde, which means to make something less spooky. This gas is most commonly deployed in an aqueous solution as a preservative, with its ability to maintain the integrity of biological structures making it an essential substance for natural biologists, shit modern artists, and necrophiliacs. Other $0 $125 $1,312 190,923
Hook Hand [1190] The metacarpus-replacement of choice for pirates and radical clerics alike, a Hook Hand represents a more practical prosthesis for those who are not finger privileged. Hand Hooks may not look like a real human hand, but they can do many things a fleshy extremity cannot, such as slice things open, hammer nails, and allow masochists to wipe their backside in a manner more befitting of their lifestyle choice. Clothing $0 $0 $0 116
Plaster Cast Leg [1191] Plaster casts consist of a bandage covered by a hard coating of plaster of paris, with this second layer relied upon to hold broken bones in place while nature does its thing. This particular plaster cast fits on a human leg, but it could also be used on a large cat or a very tiny horse. Clothing $0 $0 $1,399,995 991
Plaster Cast Arm [1192] When placed on the arm, plaster casts are at constant risk of being signed or doodled-upon by friends, relatives, and random well-wishers. Unfortunately, this plaster cast has been coated in a layer of ink-resistant material, ensuring that the wearer looks like a billy no-mates for the duration of their recovery. Clothing $0 $0 $1,299,994 973
Neck Brace [1193] Also known as a cervical collar, the Neck Brace consists of a hard polyethylene frame over a soft, foam cushion. These items are designed to limit head movement to allow the wearer to recover from whiplash or a neck sprain, but they can also be used to garner sympathy from a court during a court hearing, or prevent hickeys. Clothing $0 $0 $0 998
Halo Vest [1194] Whereas a Neck Brace merely limits head movement, the Halo Vest fully immobilizes the patient's head through the use of pins screwed directly into the skull. By putting your neck bones under tension, a Halo Vest helps to heal fractures and breaks while protecting your spinal column from further injury. Conversely, a Halo T-shirt will make people think you spent most of your 20's racking up kills at Blood Gulch. Clothing $0 $0 $2,900,000 498
Crutches [1195] These Crutches are of the auxillary variety, meaning they rest under your armpits as opposed to relying on your forearms, as an elbow crutch does. Auxillary crutches restrict your movement more than other types of crutch, but they are well-suited to those who have poor balance, such as def whores. Did you know that 99% of all crutches are never returned to hospitals? That's not true, it's actually 80%, but that's still pretty high. Clothing $0 $0 $0 501
Medical Diaper [1196] The Medical Diaper is a garment made for those with various conditions, such as dementia, impaired movement, or incontinence, which restrict them from using regular bathroom facilities. Those who wear adult diapers may feel self-conscious about doing so, but given they never have to wait in line to take a dump, or hover precariously over a pee-streaked public toilet seat, these items could be seen as somewhat aspirational. Clothing $0 $0 $1,005,000 960
Hospital Gown [1197] Hospital gowns are long, loose pieces of clothing worn by patients about to undergo surgery. These gowns were traditionally open at the back, but in recent years, complaints by bashful patients have led most hospitals to adopt a less revealing design. Rest assured, the Hospital Gowns used in Torn City are of the old variety, allowing doctors and onlookers to gain full, unfettered access to the wearer's backdoor. Clothing $0 $0 $0 1,007
Sticky Notes [1198] Legend has it that Sticky Notes were invented in the 60s by a scientist who was attempting to make a super sticky substance but made a mistake, creating the exact opposite. His error is our eternal gain, with over four quadrillion Sticky Notes now produced every single second to keep up with the public's incessant demand for something sticky but not that sticky. These tiny adhesive squares have a litany of everyday uses, from bookmarking a page in an academic paper through to leaving passive-aggressive notes telling your roommate to stop ejaculating in the shower. Other $0 $20 $345,998 10,997
Casket [1199] The craftsmanship and quality of this solid oak wooden casket are so high that upon seeing it you'll wish you were the one who was dead! Lined on the inside with luxurious silk and festooned with gleaming brass handles on either side, it's almost a shame that this coffin has to be buried underground. In a recent public survey, 6 out of 10 necrophiliacs described this deluxe model as frustratingly hard to bust open. Other $0 $8,500 $95,397 20,327
Nitrous Tank [1200] Nitrous Oxide, commonly known as laughing gas, is a staple of both dentist's waiting rooms and the Fast and Furious movies. After being inhaled by a human, N²O is known to create brief feelings of euphoria, relaxation, and pain relief. When this gas is introduced to the engine of a vehicle, it allows the vehicle to achieve a higher rate of fuel combustion, increasing its speed and acceleration. The effects of this gas on sentient machines like Optimus Prime, Lightning McQueen, or Robocop have yet to be determined. Other $0 $350 $25,841 72,195
Rope [1201] Thinking of taking your own life? Buy a gun! Then use that gun to rob a hardware store and acquire this length of sturdy, polyhemp rope instead. With a tensile strength of 2,000-3,000 kilograms, the sheer quality and durability of this rope will give you a positive new outlook on life from the moment you run it through your hands. Available in lengths of small, medium-small, and longer-small.

Effect: Used in the disposal of a dead body.
Material $0 $5 $187 881,964
Window Breaker [1202] House windows, car windows, copies of Windows 95, the window breaker shall make short work of them all. When wielded by a human accomplice, this item is capable of shattering panes of glass with just one hit thanks to its pointed steel tip. Originally designed to help during emergency escape scenarios, the window breaker has become a favorite tool among burglars and those who wish to shatter reflective surfaces in a swift and dramatic manner. Tool $0 $30 $103,349 80,299
Lockpicks [1203] Whether you're a forgetful homeowner or a dirty sneaky thief, this lock picking kit can be used to bypass any lock at any location. Pin and tumbler locks, tubular locks, and even wafer locks found on cabinets and car doors, all fall when faced with the array of tools included in this 3 piece set. It doesn't matter if it's an office filing cabinet or your Aunty's chastity belt, this set will see the lock pop open in no time. Tool $0 $495 $12,461 199,981
Skeleton Key [1204] Tired of carrying around a bunch of keys all day? Sick to death of seeing one side of your pants sag down thanks to all of those keys? Nobody should be forced to carry over 100 keys with them wherever they go, let alone 42,329. That's too many keys! So why not replace your hoard of over eight million individual keys with just one key to rule them all? This skeleton key is designed to adapt to any lock you encounter, with each of its adjustable teeth capable of being retracted in order to bypass a range of warded locks. Tool $0 $80,000 $83,192 115,121
Wrench [1205] Made from a carbon steel alloy, this wrench can be used to fasten or unfasten all sorts of bolts, nuts, or other fasteners. Hex bolts, square nuts, wing nuts, slotted screws, rivet nuts, anchor screws, phillips head screws, eye bolts, toggle bolts, U-bolts, jam nuts, stud bolts, coupling nuts, thumb screws, and your grandmother's cookie jar - you name it, this wrench can fasten or unfasten it all day long.

The Wrench is a Temporary type of weapon.
Temporary $0 $60 $178 471,172
Truck Nuts [1206] In 1969, at the height of the space race, feminist activist Gloria Steinem wrote a paper on the damaging effects NASA's phallic-shaped rockets might have on the collective female psyche. Her proposed solution was to outfit the base of each rocket with a large silicone replica of the female genital organ, an item which she took to calling the Rocket Coochie. Sadly, the rampant sexism of the time meant Ms. Steinem's ideas were not taken seriously, but they did serve as later inspiration for the range of Truck Nuts that were created in the early 1980s. Consisting of a silicone mold of an aged-gentleman's drooping ballbag, Truck Nuts are now a common feature of both personal and commercial vehicles. And we have Gloria Steinem to thank for that. Other $0 $35 $1,355,990 2,514
Thimble [1207] An essential part of any seamstress' kit, this brass thimble protects the wearer's finger from needle pricks while sewing. The thimble was originally a practical item, but these dainty little objects have now become collectible, and are sometimes offered as gifts to women from whom you wish to earn a slap. The thimble was one of the six original tokens used in the game Monopoly, but in 2017, it was replaced by a George Foreman Grill. Other $0 $15 $83,817 20,316
Beach Ball [1208] As their name suggests, Beach Balls can often be found at the beach, but they are sometimes seen being used in the water, on grass, and in the penalty area of Sunderland FC. The world's largest beach ball was 20 meters in diameter and was made for the 2017 movie, Baywatch. An inflated mass of plastic and rubber, its star Pamela Anderson remains active in the movie industry today. Other $0 $10 $163 123,627
Hunting Trophy [1209] Ownership of a hunting trophy informs your audience of one of two things. Either you have slain one of the Lord's magnificent beasts and mounted its noble head upon your wall as a symbol of your skill and prowess with a rifle. Or, you've stolen a hunting trophy. Whichever it is, an item like this is guaranteed to have your dinner party guests talking. Just be forewarned that what they're saying about you might not be very nice. Other $0 $3,750 $55,831 11,401
Hoe [1210] Not to be confused with a promiscuous human female, a hoe is a garden hand tool consisting of a slanted blade at the end of a long handle. Much like a lady of ill-repute, the garden hoe is useful when spreading seed, with its metal blade used to break up and furrow soil in preparation for the sewing of plant spores. Other $0 $65 $7,348 63,954
Fishing Rod [1211] Constructed from an ultra light fiberglass graphite composite, this fishing rod would make the perfect pole for someone just starting out on the shores, or an angler too clumsy to be trusted with something more expensive. This particular model is 10ft in length and comes with a pre-loaded 50ft reel. If you're a fan of dragging things out of the water by their mouths after promising them a light snack, take up fishing today! Other $0 $8,000 $8,141 75,201
Bleach [1212] Known among babies as "that spicy milk under the sink," bleach is a powerful disinfectant and stain remover that should always be handled with care. There are many forms of bleach available, including household bleach, pool bleach, hair bleach, and tooth bleach. This particular bleach is all of the above and more, with this general purpose product said to be adaptable to any situation or convoluted story line.

Effect: Used in the disposal of vehicles and murder weapons.
Material $0 $20 $6,226 589,182
Lye [1213] Sodium hydroxide, aka lye, is an alkaline substance used in drain cleaning, soap-making, and the production of bagels. This highly caustic product can also be deployed upon human or animal tissues to render them down into a liquid. During the 1930s, Italian serial killer Leonarda Cianciulli used lye to turn the bodies of three murdered women into soap. The fact that we know about her crimes means that she must've eventually come clean.

Effect: Used in the disposal of body parts and dead bodies.
Material $0 $25 $37,183 393,988
Towel [1214] There are two types of towel in the world. The soft, delicate kind that your mother brings out for guests but which don't do shit to dry you off. Or the battered old scratchy kind, which have been in your family for years and can desiccate a human body within two seconds of touching damp skin. This towel is the latter kind, because this is Torn City, not a luxury spa hotel. Other $0 $20 $100 630,350
Scissors [1215] These days you can find all manner of scissors for all types of tasks. Scissors can be specifically designed to cut hair, meat, plants, garments, toenails, wires, and some thin metals. Like the scissors in mother's utility drawer, these particular scissors are used to cut everything everywhere all of the time. For that reason, you should probably wash them before use.

Effect: Required during the production of forgery projects.
Tool $0 $50 $4,768 238,631
Clippers [1216] These battery operated rechargeable hair clippers are a staple of both professional barbers and those weird-looking freaks who cut their own hair at home. Accompanied by a set of 12 guide combs, this motorized hair trimmer can be used to slice your follicles to any desired length, except longer. Other $0 $220 $688 95,106
Shaving Foam [1217] There are numerous shaving substances available on the market, with various gels, creams, oils, milks, and even shaving yogurts all offered for sale. However, it is foam which has become the most popular lubricant, with its post-squirt expansion delighting hair removers time and time again. This can contains 300ml of shaving foam, and once it has expanded, its total volume is enough to fill eighteen normal-sized subway cars. Other $0 $15 $23 295,492
Razor [1218] Collectible $0 $45 $0 0
Oxygen Tank [1219] Oxygen is becoming increasingly popular these days, with the intake of this odorless and tasteless substance breathing new life into the cylindrical gas industry. This versatile tank of pure O² can be hooked up to a variety of different devices and machines to provide oxygen on demand. From scuba divers and welders through to dentists and firefighters, users of these all-purpose cylinders will breathe a sigh of relief when they realize how easy it is! Other $0 $200 $633 247,302
Massage Oil [1220] This 100ml bottle of massage oil consists of an almond oil base mixed with a blend of fragrant essential oils. It was once said that any oil is a massage oil if it's rubbed into your skin, but many Antarctic penguins would dispute that. The next time your partner asks for a relaxing rub down, don't reach for the canola or a stick of butter. Use this 100% body safe, animal-tested massage oil to soothe their aching muscles instead. Other $0 $75 $1,976 262,823
Jigsaw Puzzle [1221] Putting together the pieces of your life after a horror smash that resulted in the death of your entire family is much harder than putting together a jigsaw puzzle, so why bother? This 800-piece jigsaw puzzle will keep you occupied during those long, lonely days and horrifying, sleepless nights. You can still hear their screams, can't you? Other $0 $30 $903 36,966
Picture Frame [1222] A picture is said to be worth a thousand words. But if that's true, why do they need to be framed? Because presentation is everything, that's why. Adding this tasteful frame to your photograph elevates it from being a grubby snapshot of your sister's kids to a memory that shall be treasured forever. Multiple photographs taped to a wall suggests the domain of a serial killer. But as soon as those photos are framed, it looks like a typical family home full of laughter and joy. Other $0 $200 $248 66,200
Cigar Cutter [1223] The cigar cutter's razor sharp blades make it the perfect tool for slicing stogies and someone's finger. To use the cutter effectively on a cigar, one must remove just enough of the cap without causing it to unravel. For human digits, it is best to start at the distal phalange before making your way through the middle phalange, the proximal phalange, and if necessary, the knuckle. If you find yourself cutting through the collarbone, you've gone too far. Other $0 $300 $1,474 100,541
Ash Tray [1224] Plant pots, trash cans, brick walls, empty beer cans, and the eye of a youth team goalkeeper are just some areas where it's acceptable to stub out cigars and cigarettes. But the classiest place of all is a designated ash tray. These carcinogenic crucibles tell your guests that while you may not value their health or your own, you do like to keep things tidy around the home. Other $0 $75 $0 0
Bowling Trophy [1225] Do you want people to know that you're skilled at putting your fingers into holes? Then display this bowling trophy on your mantelpiece, desk, or car dashboard! It doesn't matter if you've actually earned this trophy, merely that you own it. This lightweight pewter trophy has been left uninscribed, allowing the bearer to pretend it was they who came third in the 1997 West Lancashire regional heats at Megabowl. Other $0 $3,750 $250,245 7,576
Fertilizer [1226] Bombs and blooms are well served by this high-quality fertilizer courtesy of the Lo Squalo waste management company. While many commercial fertilizers advertise themselves as nitrate-free, Lo Squalo's nutrient-rich compost has five times the nitrate levels of our best-selling competitor. Made from 104% recycled organic matter harvested from the city dump, there's a piece of yous in every sack. Other $0 $200 $3,187 601,677
Igniter Cord [1227] This reel of igniter cord can be used to ensure that you're a safe distance away from controlled explosions, allowing you to retain your limbs, eardrums, and the top layer of your skin. The cord works by transmitting a controlled flame down its center at a consistent and predictable speed. Whether you're destroying a building or obliterating a human corpse, don't skimp on the cord if you want to walk away. Other $0 $20 $8,973 292,663
Bond Paper [1228] Modern paper is a miraculous thing. With its pristine white appearance and razor-sharp edges, we've come a long way from the tattered sheets of dried pulp scrawled on by our forefathers. This ream of bond paper contains enough sheets to print approximately 0.4% of a set of terms and conditions.

Effect: Used during the production of forgery projects.
Material $0 $20 $337 3,882,537
Diesel [1229] Collectible $0 $85 $0 0
Remote Detonator [1230] Without a detonator, a bomb is nothing but a load of spicy candles. But when you team one up with a remote detonator, the ability to destroy things at a distance is within your grasp. There's no need for a long reel of suspicious igniter cord with this remote detonator, which itself consists of a box with a huge red button. It really couldn't be any simpler to blow up faraway shit! Other $0 $300 $19,557 165,254
Golf Club [1231] A versatile implement well-suited to use on the greens and in the ghetto, the golf club's aerodynamic design makes it a favorite of both course professionals and professional killers. Whether you're teeing off or taking out someone's teeth, this club's polished titanium head will hit the target with unnerving accuracy.

The Golf Club is a Clubbing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $2,150 $1,950 162,817
Garden Gnome [1232] This charming ceramic figurine depicts a traditional garden gnome with a long pointy hat and thick white beard. While such items are often used to decorate the gardens of people with no taste, legend has it that the presence of a garden gnome is said to ward off evil spirits. This claim has been discredited by the apparent ineffectuality of gnomes in stopping cats from pissing in people's gardens. Other $0 $400 $4,274 656,794
Wheelbarrow [1233] With its steel tray complemented by a solid rubber wheel, this wheelbarrow is both strong and sturdy, capable of withstanding even the heaviest of loads. Whether you're transporting a stack of stolen tires or a dismembered human corpse, this simple yet practical device is a must-have item for anyone looking to dump stuff elsewhere.

Effect: Required for the disposal of building debris and industrial waste.
Tool $995 $700 $1,084 202,347
Shovel [1234] This high-quality shovel utilizes a high-carbon blade to cut through even the driest turf with consummate ease. Based on a design by famed British horticulturalist Frederick West, this implement's lightweight shaft and comfortable grip makes light work of the most arduous garden projects. If you need to dig and fill a 6ft by 6ft by 3ft hole quick enough for the neighbors to think you're merely relaying a patio, this is the tool for the job.

Effect: Required for the burying disposal method.
Tool $0 $65 $271 472,072
Blanket [1235] This delightful woolen blanket wouldn't look out of place draped over a sofa, spread across a bed, or wrapped around a teeny tiny human being. This is in stark contrast to Blanket Jackson, son of Michael, who is more suited to being dangled precariously over a hotel balcony. Other $0 $200 $2,653 117,563
Crockpot [1236] In today's modern, breakneck society, everyone expects instant gratification. Fast food, fast travel, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. This crockpot harks back to a more sedate era. A time when people had the patience to wait eight hours for supper. Why not relearn the forbearance of your forbears by chucking a bunch of meat and vegetables into this crockpot and leaving it to stew. Other $0 $600 $30,664 94,597
Plunger [1237] Pinched off a family-sized loaf again? Worry not. With the help of this sturdy plunger, your u-bend will be unblocked within seconds. Watch in amazement as your formerly solid doings slosh around the bowl and blend with the toilet paper to become a cappuccino-colored slurry. Look on astonished as the clog dissolves and your toilet returns to normal service. Stand unsteadily as you attempt to switch on the taps with your feet now that your arms are slathered up to the elbows in excrement. Other $0 $25 $31,368 26,256
Silver Cutlery Set [1238] Are the in-laws coming over for dinner? Then bust out this luxury set of silverware and impress them more than your career or conversation ever could. Consisting of 60 forks, 40 spoons, 20 knives, and a ladle big enough to hold a 10lb newborn baby, this 121 piece set is for special occasions only. Other $0 $2,700 $14,994 31,524
Stash Box [1239] Favored by item market sellers and store owners alike, this metal stash box is an essential item for those who wish to keep their takings out of the reach of light-fingered individuals. Made from reinforced aluminium alloy, the stash box's divided internal compartments are capable of securing up to $75,000 in Torn City Dollars, or $3m in Vietnamese Dong. Supply Pack $0 $0 $57,920 76,982
Perfume [1240] Stinking like a filthy rat? Mask your poor personal hygiene with a few spritzes of Cane Bagnato No.4. This unisex eau de parfum contains a subtle blend of rum, tobacco, and sulfur. Marilyn Monroe once said that she wore nothing to bed except a dab of Chanel No.5. Before Duke turns in for the night, he dunks his balls in No.4 and straps on his fully enclosed leather sleeping hood. Other $0 $2,000 $1,892 361,507
Croquet Set [1241] Typically the preserve of well-heeled country folk, the game of croquet was invented in 1843 as a means of distracting the upper classes from denigrating the poor and having intercourse with their cousins. Played by smacking a ball through a series of hoops, croquet is referred to by no one as the basketball of the floor. This croquet set consists of all the balls, mallets, pegs, and hoops you need for a rip-roaring day on the lawns. Other $0 $200 $0 20,899
Horseshoe [1242] Beside humans and overworked centipedes, horses are the only creatures deemed fancy enough to have the gift of footwear bestowed upon them. Horseshoes are believed to have been invented by the Romans in an effort to improve upon the sloppedy-dop sound made by natural horse hooves, transforming it into a more satisfying clippedy-clop. In Torn City, horseshoes are exclusively made from lightweight aluminum, allowing them to sprint away from starving hobos at a moment's notice. Other $0 $100 $1,690 389,789
Persian Rug [1243] Emerging from the lands of present-day Iran, Persian Rugs are known worldwide for their complex designs, high-level of craftsmanship, and occasional levitational properties. Each Persian Rug takes approximately 800 years to make, with generations of stitchers, dyers, and weavers dedicating their lives and those of their children to the sacred art of rug making. This is something worth remembering the next time you find your dog pissing all over the one in your study. Other $0 $22,000 $176,665 5,924
Typewriter [1244] Before the advent of computers and keyboards, writers were forced to use manual typewriters to communicate their thoughts on why the latest Doctor Who shouldn't be a woman. Invented in the 1880s, these devices used metal type slugs slapping against an ink ribbon to imprint characters onto paper. When a mistake was made, the writer would press the backspace button, which would cause the typewriter to self-destruct and fly back into space, hence the term.

Effect: Required during the production of forgery projects.
Tool $0 $5,500 $70,752 62,783
Chandelier [1245] This grand chandelier is over a meter wide, two meters tall, and weighs over 40 kilograms. As such, it is unlikely to be suitable for illuminating a back bedroom or that little space above the landing. These ornate lighting fixtures consist of multiple branches fitted with either candles or light, and are often further adorned with beads, crystals, or intricate metalwork. Chandeliers may only be known as such if they have been produced in the Chandelieré region of France, otherwise, they're just sparkling lamps. Other $0 $45,000 $0 1,668
Inkwell [1246] Suited for use alongside a quill or a fountain pen, this inkwell contains 50ml of pigmented, water-based ink. Users of more traditional writing implements like the quill and inkwell have noticed a 43% increase in ye numbere of lettere ees addeede to theyere writinges.

Effect: Used during the production of forgery projects.
Material $375 $210 $27,379 172,501
Bull Semen [1247] This vial contains a potent blend of semen extracted from the most virile bulls in Torn City. The motility and morphology of these sperm is so impressive that they have been seen punching through solid steel chastity devices in order to reach the egg. As viscose as cold treacle, this executive bovine seed is almost impossible to clean off when spilled on your trousers. Try explaining that to your spouse. Other $0 $25,000 $340,460 10,561
Ammonia [1248] Ammonia is a caustic, alkaline substance whose pungent odor reminds many of their grandparents' agonizing final moments. A compound of hydrogen and nitrogen, ammonia has various industrial and domestic applications. This particular bottle contains 500ml of diluted ammonia, which is enough to make roughly fifteen horrible cocktails. Other $0 $25 $1,345 614,041
Hydrochloric Acid [1249] Hydrochloric Acid, a strong, corrosive liquid, is widely used in industry and scientific research and is renowned for its ability to dissolve a variety of substances. Due to the acid's hazardous nature, with the potential to cause severe burns and respiratory damage, caution is vital in its handling.

Effect: Used in the dissolving disposal method.
Material $0 $55 $61,778 1,575,989
Anchor [1250] Anchors are used to secure seafaring vessels to the seabed when it's time for the captain to go sleepytimes. Small boats tend to use lightweight aluminum anchors weighing under 100lbs, whereas those deployed from large ships are often made from steel and can weigh several tons. If you encounter one of these items during your exploits in Torn City, you should probably work out which one it is before trying to lift it.

Effect: Used in the disposal of a dead body.
Material $0 $1,500 $1,544,790 14,926
Boat Engine [1251] This gasoline-fueled inboard boat engine can produce up to 200 horsepower and has a displacement of 4.5 liters. A model like this is most suited to small to mid-range vessels, but you can also glue a bunch together and use them to power a big boat probably. There's absolutely no scientific reason why this shouldn't work. Other $0 $75,500 $75,114 46,548
Brass Ingot [1252] When a block of zinc and a block of copper love each other very much, they form an alloy known as brass. However, brass can also be acquired directly from the idiom mines, where phrases like "bold as brass," "the top brass," and "I couldn't give a brass monkeys" can be carved from the earth, before being melted down and refined. This brass ingot weighs approximately as much as you think it might.

Effect: Used during the production of forgery projects.
Material $0 $100 $12,528 761,568
Tractor Part [1253] While tractor owners in the mainland US had to fight tooth and nail to enact right-to-repair laws, Torn's farming community have been fixing their own vehicles for decades - often with disastrous results. This tractor component is generic enough that it can be installed easily by even the most numbskulled amateur mechanic. Just pop open the hood, rip out the bad part, whack in the new thingy, and you're good to go! Other $0 $6,500 $6,695 153,272
Tire [1254] Building upon an ancient concept known as "the wheel", the tire is an inflatable rubber covering which sits around the rim of a wheel to make it look pretty. Controversial studies suggest that the addition of tires to wheels provide more grip and stability for the vehicle's driver, but these claims are yet to be proven independently. The modern tire contains over 200 materials, including kevlar, nylon, rubber, and steel. This is why they smell so good when you burn them. Other $0 $90 $135 518,451
Bone Saw [1255] Bone saws are a common feature of both butcher's shops and hospital surgeries. This particular saw has a universal tooth design, giving it the power to hack through dense bone while maintaining the precision needed for finer, more delicate cuts. There are, however, several types of bone which are incompatible with this saw, including knucklebones, trombones, Ken Bones, and lazybones.

Effect: Required in the disposal of a dead body.

The Bone Saw is a Slashing type of weapon.
Melee $0 $800 $36,605 54,214
Machine Part [1256] The most important part of a machine is the machine part, which works with other machine parts to form part of a much larger machine. Machine parts can be machined, in part, by machines, which themselves comprise of many different machine parts. Once someone has machined a machine part using the various parts of a machine, many find it hard to part from their machined machine part. Other $0 $4,000 $5,473 643,880
Cattle Prod [1257] A cattle prod is an electric powered-device used to persuade livestock to move. Since human to cow conversation is no longer possible, violence is the only way in which farmers are able to communicate their desires to their bovine bretheren. Cattle prods typically impart a low-current shock of 5 milliamps and around 4,000 volts upon their recipient. This device has been modified to transmit up to 100 milliamps and 10,000 volts. Have fun!

The Cattle Prod is a Mechanical type of weapon.
Melee $0 $1,250 $3,645,884 15,450
Binoculars [1258] Beloved by birdwatchers and stalkers alike, binoculars enable the user to see far away shit from wherever they are - unless they're behind a wall. Capable of up to 10x magnification, this set of binoculars is ergonomically designed to ensure a lightweight and compact design. They also have a little strap that lets you wear them around your neck. Other $0 $2,000 $11,552 140,777
Razor Wire [1259] Razor wire is a specific type of barbed wire that contains sharp-edged blades and loops designed to make it even harder for trespassers to interfere with. This is an important distinction that was not referenced in the 1996 superhero movie, Barb Wire, starring Pamela Anderson. Many people blame the movie's failure on this omission, but it is hoped this mistake will be rectified with the forthcoming resurrection of the RWCU (Razor Wire Cinematic Universe.) Other $0 $4,325 $8,891 79,227
Stamp Collection [1260] This wall-mounted stamp collection contains some of the most expensive postage marks the world has to offer. The Inverted Jenny, Red Mercury, and Bordeaux Cover are just some of the rare and valuable stamps not included in this reasonably priced collection. However, there are still plenty of desirable letter-enablers within this display, including a rare British stamp from 1982 which depicts a cartoon version of Diana, Princess of Wales giving birth to Prince William. Other $0 $30,000 $100,644 12,984
Bucket [1261] There is nothing to be said about the humble bucket that hasn't been said before. From water to wet cement, this receptacle will take your loads without question. As buckets go, this one is top of the range, having been built from high-density polyethylene and capable of holding up to six gallons. You can double that amount by adding an extra bucket to your repertoire. Other $0 $20 $180 522,612
Urea [1262] Urea, also known as carbamide, is a naturally occurring substance that can be found in the waste products of many biological organisms. Within the human body, urea is synthesized in the liver, filtered from your blood via the kidneys, and then expelled through urination. In Torn City, urea can only be found in little plastic tubs - you cannot farm it by collecting your piss. Other $0 $500 $4,722 167,858
Phosphorus [1263] If you were to blend salmon, pork, parmesan cheese, brazil nuts, and pumpkin seeds, you'd create a disgusting fishy little pig patty that was incredibly high in phosphorous. Within biological organisms, phosphorous is involved in the formation of DNA, among other things. Outside of meaty flesh-bags, phosphorous is an important ingredient in fertilizers, matches, and pyrotechnics. Without this chemical element, you wouldn't be able to enjoy a smoke during a Rammstein concert while eating a home-grown tomato. Other $0 $300 $25,689 79,323
Potassium Nitrate [1264] Try buying a kilo of potassium online, and the feds will think you've gone bananas. Buy a kilo of potassium nitrate, and they'll assume you're planning a terror attack. Also known as saltpeter, potassium nitrate is a crystalline salt which serves as the oxidizing agent within gunpowder. Mix a bunch of this stuff in with carbon and sulfur, and you've got yourself a sweet pile of explosive dust, baby! Other $0 $700 $15,987 430,931
Grain [1265] A 50 kilogram sack of premium quality grain containing a blend of genetically modified strains selected for their durability and nutritional value. Not only do these strains survive better than their counterparts, they are engineered to overwhelm native species and dominate all available arable land. In a few years time, this grain will be the only strain on planet Earth! Other $0 $150 $1,353 147,295
Shampoo [1266] In a world where every bathroom product is an 8-in-1 combination of face wash, moisturizer, and engine degreaser, this 500ml bottle of plain old shampoo is a refreshing callback to a simpler time. The shampoo contained within will not make your hair volumnous or luscious, nor will it make any of it grow back. All it does is clean the shit from your hair. And really, isn't that enough? Other $0 $20 $66 271,705
Detergent [1267] Sick of stained clothes making you look like a grubby little bastard? This all-in-one ultra force extreme clean power wash turbo turbo mega cleanse miracle detergent is the product for the job. Just one capful of this laundry liquid will see your clothes rinsed of dirt, oils, and human DNA! 8 out of 5 housewives don't disagree! Other $0 $35 $459 118,664
Vitamins [1268] Feeling a little run-down? Is the daily drudgery of commuting and working taking its toll? This bottle of 120 multivitamins will do absolutely nothing to help! With each pill containing 150% more than the recommended daily dose of 22 vitamins and minerals, you're guaranteed to piss out far more than you absorb! Now with extra bulking agents! Other $0 $50 $86 661,555
Cough Syrup [1269] Originally formulated as a remedy for throat irritation and congestion, cough syrup became popular among Houston's blues musicians in the 1960s as a potent mixer for beer. Known on the streets as Purple Drank, Sizzurp, and Lean, codeine-laced Cough Syrup is now enjoyed straight by modern artists like Lil Wayne and Engelbert Humperdinck. Other $0 $30 $564 1,342,909
Paper Towels [1270] A roll of ultra-absorbent, perforated sheets designed to help you mop up spills, splatters, and spooge with ease. Because there are some jobs where a wad of toilet paper just isn't enough.

Effect: Used in the disposal of vehicles and murder weapons.
Material $0 $10 $2,510 920,656
Pepper Mill [1271] Tired of crushing whole peppercorns between your teeth before spitting the peppery paste onto your food? This pepper mill takes the effort out of seasoning your lunch by grinding peppercorns into dust with just a few twists of the knob! With its adjustable grinding mechanism, you can pick from coarse, extra coarse, and not at all coarse to suit your tastes. Don't chew whole peppercorns like a fruitcake. Use a pepper mill! Other $0 $95 $0 0
Toothbrush [1272] What do teeth and hair have in common? They both contain keratin, grow out of your face, and require regular brushing to prevent you from looking gross. Regular brushing with a toothbrush helps maintain the health and appearance of your teeth, while also giving you something to do while you stare at your reflection each morning. Other $0 $5 $1,071 140,283
Toothpaste [1273] This brand of toothpaste is one of the few dental products on the market that is not recommended by 9 out of 10 dentists. Its unique formula contains activated uranium to help strengthen and protect enamel, while the lead microparticles help to gently erase stains and plaque from the surface of your teeth. Available in three refreshing flavors: Spearmint, New Car, and Flamin' Hot Nacho Cheese. Other $0 $5 $1,299 93,717
Mouthwash [1274] Mouthwash is a crucial addition to your oral hygiene regimen. With a quick swish around the gums, mouthwash can kill germs and bacteria, prevent gum disease, and replace the disgusting taste of minty toothpaste with a fresh dose of even mintier liquid. Many modern mouthwashes are made alcohol-free to cater to those of a religious persuasion. This particular mouthwash contains more alcohol than is necessary. Using this formula to rinse out your mouth will put you four times over the legal driving limit. Other $0 $10 $92 269,708
Mop [1275] This microfiber mop is able to trap dirt and bacteria much more efficiently than sponge or string mops. Its replaceable and washable head means you could and possibly should have a separate one for each room! Because you wouldn't want to clean your kitchen with the same head you've used in the bathroom, would you? No seriously, would you? Other $0 $20 $7,080 55,545
Broom [1276] Often found wedged between the thighs of sky-dwelling female sorcerers, the broom is an essential part of every household's cleaning apparatus. Most useful for redistributing dust and shards of glass into that bit beneath the fridge, brooms are never to be used to clean up a wet mess. In fact, if you look closely at the base of the handle, you'll see the words "No wet messes" inscribed into each and every broom that has ever been produced. Don't believe us, go and look for yourself! Other $0 $20 $677 63,195
Floor Cleaner [1277] A wise man once said that anything can be a floor cleaner if you use it to clean the floor. This is true, but alas, this so-called wise man also decided to mix all of the stuff under his sink when he ran out of floor cleaner. He ended up with a severe headache and a really clean floor. Let this be a lesson to you all. Always buy floor cleaner. Other $0 $35 $288 302,046
Model Spine [1278] This anatomically accurate representation of the human spinal column is so realistic it's hard to believe that it wasn't ripped out of an actual person's back one dark night last April. But it wasn't, and there's absolutely nothing you can do to prove otherwise. All of the major back bits are in here, with the cervical spine at the top, the lumbar at the bottom, and the classic thoracic spine located in the middle. You could use this model spine to demonstrate many things, such as how to lift a box correctly, the best way to get into various limbo positions, or as a prop to taunt cowards and worms. Other $0 $4,000 $16,838 25,858
Massage Table [1279] Proper massage is a sacred art form, as when correctly performed, it involves the careful rubbing of a human body in such a way that it is pleasurable and relaxing without becoming arousing. This foldaway table allows you to practice massage in the comfort of your own home or those of your clients. And if your patient should become involuntarily aroused, the table's handy carry case enables you to make a swift getaway! Other $0 $1,900 $24,793 33,480
Scalp Massager [1280] Quad-pronged for your pleasure, this scalp massager is guaranteed to send the wearer off into orgasmic bliss after just 30 seconds of use. Each prong is adjustable, allowing even those with a considerable-sized noggin to enjoy a relaxing head rub. The accompanying instruction manual suggests that you shouldn't use this device while driving or operating heavy machinery. But what they don't know won't hurt them! Other $0 $700 $603 80,414
Dentures [1281] Also known as false teeth, dentures act as a replacement for the wearer's natural teeth if they have been lost due to decay, violence, or the fact that you're a young bride in Victorian Britain. Fixed using suction to the upper and lower parts of the mouth, dentures help to restore chewing abilities to the wearer, while also helping them to speak and smile. The earliest dentures were constructed from full-sized whale teeth of up to 8 inches in length, causing the wearer to look quite preposterous indeed. This is where the saying "long in the tooth" originates from. Other $0 $2,200 $2,101 60,687
Gold Tooth [1282] This golden dental crown is an 18 carat prosthesis that can be fitted comfortably to whatever remains of your existing tooth. Gold is an excellent substance to use in the mouth due to its durability and low likelihood of causing an allergic reaction. However, most people choose this material for its aesthetic value, despite the fact that gold teeth make you look like a poor person who won the lottery. Other $0 $400 $3,644 624,668
Bleaching Tray [1283] Are your teeth discolored from drinking nothing but Gatorade and piping hot gravy? This reusable bleaching tray can help restore the natural whiteness of your smile. To begin, dunk the tray in hot water, before fixing it to your maxillary or mandibular arch. Once the tray has molded to the shape of your teeth, you may remove it and fill the tray with bleach. Any kind of bleach will do, including hair, industrial strength, and the kind you'd find under mom's sink! Once you've lined the tray with your bleaching agent of choice, simply wear it overnight and you'll wake up the next morning with a mouth full of pearly whites! Other $0 $200 $718 63,616
Dental Mirror [1284] Comprising a co